One More Last Chance
by Scription Addict
Summary: Starts 9 years ago, the cold case squad is newly formed and everyone is still trying to get along, without treading on each others toes. Will explore Grace and Boyd's relationship through all 9 series. Some chapters will have adult content so rated m.
1. Getting To Know You

**One More Last Chance - A Waking The Dead Fiction**

Disclaimer – Waking the dead and all original characters belong to the BBC, I own nothing.

Starts 8 years ago, the cold case squad is newly formed and everyone is still trying to get along, without treading on each others toes. For the purposes of this fiction Grace and Boyd are younger than they were at the start, although I do not know how old they were at the start, but Grace is around 47, and Boyd about 45, so not much of an age gap.

This chapter contains a sexual scene, don't read if it ain't your thing.

**Chapter 1 – Getting To Know You**

Grace dropped her bag in the hallway of her home and hung up her coat, she headed to the kitchen and looked for an open bottle of wine that she had started the day before, and left in the fridge for today. She'd had a crap day, it started with a disagreement with Boyd and ended with an argument with Frankie, she had to admit she was seriously doubting whether she had made the right decision leaving Broadmoor for this job with the Metropolitan police departments newly formed cold case squad. She was working with people she didn't know, and who she wasn't sure were interested in her work, Boyd seemed like he couldn't give a toss about psychological profiling, yet she had a proven track record in the field she worked in.

She'd left work early, after a disagreement with Frankie had ended up in a major argument, that's the trouble with scientists they can only see facts, anything that can't be proven doesn't exist.

As for the disagreement with Boyd, sometimes he just wouldn't listen to her, so she'd left them to it, she had plenty of work she could be doing.

She'd been working on her latest book for some time when the doorbell rang, she hadn't noticed that it was already 8 o'clock, she wasn't expecting anyone, so was dressed casually. She opened the door to see Boyd standing in front of her.

"Boyd, what are you doing here?"

"Hi Grace, I um, I just wanted to apologise for earlier, it turns out your theory was right, Robert Campbell has a history of violent attacks, we've picked him up, and he's confessed to everything. Anyway, I just wanted to drop this off and say sorry, for not listening to you." Boyd held out a bottle of red wine.

"What happened to your face?" She replied noticing the cuts and bruises and general swelling on his face.

He smiled before replying, "As I said Robert Campbell has history of violence, he's quite a big bloke too."

"Would you like to come in for a drink?" she asked him hesitantly. "Unless you have plans."

"No, I don't have plans, I'd love a glass."

Grace headed into the kitchen to get a glass for Boyd, returning to the lounge where Boyd had made himself comfortable on her sofa, "You should get those looked at." She stated, noticing that he still had dried blood on his face, and had obviously not been to the hospital.

"They're fine, I'm a big boy Grace, I can deal with a couple of cuts."

Grace poured him a glass of wine, "Come through to the kitchen, let me clean your face up."

"There's no need, I'm fine."

Grace walked to the kitchen, and waited for him to join her, which he eventually did. He removed his jacket and sat on a chair at her kitchen table, Grace took out a first aid kit and poured some anti septic solution in a bowl, she then began to dab it against the cut's on his face, causing him to jump as the solution hit the open cuts on his face.

"I thought you were a big boy Boyd?" She said with a smile.

Boyd smiled at her, and then grimaced again as he split the cut on his lip again. "Very funny Dr Foley." He replied as she again dabbed his lip.

After cleaning Boyd's face, the two of them returned to Grace's lounge and sat talking over a glass of wine.

"So tell me about yourself Grace? We're trying to form a working relationship and we know nothing about each other."

"You know everything there is to know Boyd."

"All I know is what's on your CV, your a highly respected forensic psychologist, you spent a long time working with offenders at Broadmoor top security hospital, you've been married and divorced and have a daughter, but what's in between the lines Grace, what doesn't it say on the CV?"

"If I put it all on the CV you'd still be reading it."

"So talk to me, tell me about the real you, start with your Daughter, how old is she? What's her name? How do you get on?"

"She's 20, and she's called Juliet, but prefers to be called Jules these days, she's currently studying English at University with the aim of being a teacher, and as for how we get on, we don't, we argue every time we speak, she prefers to stay at her university digs, even during the holidays rather than come home and be under the same roof as me."

"See, how difficult was that, now I know your daughters name, and how old she is, and what she wants to be."

"So what about you, married with kids?"

"Divorced, and I have a son."

"How old is he?"

"He's 17 and he's called Luke, or he was the last time I saw him."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't seem him since he was 15, he ran away from home, something he did a lot, but we used to find him one way or another, local police would bring him home, or I'd find him sleeping rough and bring him home myself, but he'd just go again. He stole from his mother and me, sold things from around the house, one day I'd had enough, so I reported him for theft. He was arrested and put in a young offenders institute. I visited him, but he told me he hated me, that he never wanted to see me again, I continued to try and visit him, but every time I went he refused to see me. He was 14 when he went in, and when he was released back to his mother at 15, he stayed just 2 days before he ran again, he's not been in touch with either of us since, and I now have no idea where he is."

"I'm sorry Boyd, I had no idea, bloody hell!"

"It's okay Grace, I've been living with it for a while now, you get used to it, doesn't get any easier but you do get used to it."

"Is he on drugs?"

"Yeah, he started taking drugs when he was about 12, started smoking weed, then he'd be on speed, taking ecstasy, next thing I know he's as high as a kite all the time, I dread to think what he's like now, what sort of crap he's taking."

"Do you still try to find him?"

"You never stop looking, never."

"How long have you been divorced?"

"5 years, my ex wife blamed me for Luke's behaviour, he hated me being a cop, he was ashamed of it, hated his friends finding out. Mary said I drove him away because of what I was, because I loved my job, and enjoyed being a policeman. What about you?"

"12 years, my ex husband was a GP, but he couldn't cope with the pressure that went with the job, and when he got stressed he developed a bit of a temper, he became a bit too handy with his fists, and I grew tired of walking into the proverbial door, so I left him, he always made the usual apologies and promises afterwards, but they never lasted long."

"What about your daughter, did he ever hit her?"

"No, he saved the special treatment just for me, thankfully."

"Did you stay in touch with him, for your daughter?"

"For a while, but then he moved to Scotland, his contact with Jules became less and less, and now she doesn't hear from him at all."

"So we're both experts in failed marriages and difficult children, what's next?"

"What do you do to unwind?"

"Unwind, what's that?"

"What you do after work, you remember Boyd."

"Oh that, well by the time I've finished work I'm usually too knackered to do anything, on the weekend I tidy up, I do my laundry and shopping, occasionally I mow the grass, feed the fish, all the normal things people do at the weekends."

"You only feed the fish at the weekends?"

"Are you meant to feed them more than that?" He replied with a smile.

"So is that all there is to know in the world of Boyd?"

"Yep probably, so what do you do after work?"

"What other than drink copious amounts of wine with men I barely know."

"Ah, so you make a habit of this do you?"

"Sadly no, most of my times is taken up with work, I write books, I do research, write papers on the research, etc. etc. etc."

"Bloody hell Grace, all work and no play springs to mind!"

"That's rich coming from you."

"I've got my fish Grace."

"Not for bloody long if you don't start feeding them more than once a week. Anyway, are they the only thing keeping you company? No long legged blonde on the horizon."

"Ha! I think I'm destined to be alone, I'm too bloody irritating to put up with, what about you, where are you hiding George Clooney?"

"I had to knock him back, he was getting clingy."

"That's the trouble with being beautiful Grace, you attract stalkers."

"I think you've had too much to drink."

"Why? Because I think you're beautiful."

Grace got up from the sofa and collected the glasses, and now empty bottles of wine from the table, taking them to the kitchen, speaking as she walked out, "It's getting late Boyd I think you should go home."

She didn't realise he'd followed her through to the kitchen, "If you want me to leave I will, but I meant what I said, you are beautiful."

"Phone for a taxi, you can leave your car here and pick it up tomorrow." She said changing the subject, as she tidied her kitchen.

Boyd blocked her way and raised her face to look at him, he leant forward and kissed her gently, it was the merest touch of his lips against hers, but she showed no hesitation in her response, she lifted her hand to his neck and returned the kiss. She didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the pure physical attraction that was lowering her inhibitions, and at this precise moment she didn't care, all she knew was that she wanted him, more than she had wanted anyone in a long time. Within minutes Boyd had pushed her against her kitchen table, and was kissing her hungrily, his hands wandering up and down her body, her hands doing the same to him, his thigh between her legs pressing against her, his mouth moved to her neck, his teeth gently grazing her skin, causing her to moan slightly.

"Why don't we take this to bed?" He suggested, Grace just nodded to him and led the way to her bedroom.

In the bedroom Grace sat on her bed and Boyd sat next to her, he turned to look at her and then started to kiss her anew, as they lay back on the bed he started to gently undress her, his mouth tenderly exploring her body, his hand rested on her stomach before moving lower and undoing her trousers, his hand reaching inside them to find the hub of her sensitivity, heat radiating from her core, she moaned as his hand began to touch her, to toy with her, applying pressure and friction in equal measure.

Grace regained enough composure to be able to return the favour, her hand slowly undoing his trousers and belt and freeing him from the confines of his shorts, her hand immediately encircling him, stroking him slowly, feeling him getting harder with each stroke. They continued to kiss deeply as they touched each other, both of them breathing heavily, and making the occasional sigh of pleasure.

Boyd pulled away long enough to remove the remainder of his clothes, and then remove the remainder of hers. He grabbed his wallet from his trousers, before returning to kiss her. As he fiddled with the wallet, Grace pulled away.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"I have a condom in my wallet." He replied, returning his mouth to hers.

"You don't need to, it's fine...I mean it's safe, I'm past that." She eventually got him to understand what she was saying.

They moved into the bed, and continued to explore each other intimately under the covers, before Boyd began to push gently into her, stilling himself once inside her, allowing them both to get used to this new feeling of closeness, and allowing Grace to adjust to the feeling of fullness, after a few minutes he began to move slowly and gently, building up to a more fulfilling speed and strength.

Grace moaned gently as he began to pick up pace, tightening herself around him as he moved into her, and then releasing the muscles as he pulled out.

He again covered her mouth with his own, his tongue gently dancing around hers as he made love to her, both of them panting and moaning into the others mouth. Grace could feel herself growing ever closer to the point of no return, and knew from Boyd's pace that he must be getting close too.

"Argh Peter!" she whispered breathlessly as she felt her muscles begin to tighten around him, she wrapped a leg around him, allowing him to penetrate her deeper. The feeling of heat rising through her body as a need to cling to him, to hang on to him filled her body.

As her climax started to subside his was just beginning. "Fuck" he exclaimed, as his body felt a need to move harder and faster, pushing hard into her as he exploded inside her, each subsequent movement filling her with the product of months of sexual frustration.

He looked at her intently, his mouth moving to hers and kissing her softly, still joined intimately, not wanting to move just yet, eventually as his breathing returned to normal, and he softened inside her, he rolled off and laid by her side. She turned towards him and put her arms around him, he did the same to her, neither of them spoke, they just held each other and eventually drifted into sleep.

-o0-o-0o-

Grace woke to find her body intermingled with Boyd's, their arms and legs tangled together, he lay on his front, somehow his body seemed to take up the majority of the bed, she lay against his side. She'd half expected him to be gone when she woke up, with the realisation of what they had done sinking in and no longer wearing the beer goggles, she'd thought he would sneak away under the cover of darkness, and never discuss the matter again. But for some reason he was still here.

She gently disentangled herself from him, but before she could get out of bed he was awake.

"What time is it?" He said whilst yawning, and stretching.

"6.30." She replied after looking at her alarm clock.

"Where are you going?"

"I was going to get ready for work."

"Come back to bed for 10 minutes, we've got ages yet."

"Are you still drunk? Or are you too hungover to have come to your senses yet?"

"Come to my senses about what?" he answered still sounding half asleep.

"About this Boyd, about last night." She sounded astonished at his nonchalant attitude.

"Oh I see, you think we should feel guilty, that we should pretend it never happened, never mention it again, is that the way you think it should go."

"Well don't you?"

He shook his head before answering. "No, to be honest I don't, I'm not only glad it happened, I think it was inevitable."

"Why was it inevitable?"

"Because I was attracted to you from the first moment I saw you, and I'm not the sort of person that can let something like that go. I know things have been fiery at work, but that will always be the case, my work means too much to me to just sit back and not say something if I don't agree with what's being said. Now for god's sake will you come back to bed? Please?"

Grace laid back on the bed and moved closer to him, he in return put his arms around her and lowered his lips to hers. "So what happens now?" She asked.

"What right now?" He replied raising his eyebrows at her.

"No not right now, for a start we don't have time for that."

"Pity, but okay."

"I meant with work, and this?"

"Why does anything need to happen, why can't we just see where it takes us, let's start by having dinner this evening."

"You are completely insane, you know that don't you."

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>Hope you like it, next chapter up soon, on this and my others, as always please review.<p> 


	2. Problems

Hi all, first chapter didn't get any reviews, but I'm enjoying writing it and know where it's going, so am gonna stick with it, have changed the title from Another, Another Chance, to One More Last Chance, as did not like the original title, I know chapter 1 went straight into the relationship, but I wanted the relationship to start when they first met at the begining of series and go through to the end of series 9, and a little beyond. As always your reviews are gratefull received.

**Chapter 2 - Problems**

Four Months on from Chapter 1:

Grace got up leaving Boyd laying asleep in bed, she hadn't been feeling well, but hadn't told him as she didn't want to worry him. She felt that they hadn't been in this so called relationship long enough for her to be laying her problems on him.

She'd had a cancer scare some months before she knew him, and was scared that it was returning. Last time they removed a benign tumour, and although she didn't need any further treatment they did tell her that it could return, now she was getting the same symptoms again, pain in her lower back, stomach cramps, nausea, and her mood was up and down like a yoyo. She was worried Boyd may have picked up on something, but if he had, he hadn't said anything.

She'd made a Dr's appointment for later that morning, but she was having trouble sleeping because she was worrying so much.

It was 5am, and she was in the kitchen making a cup of tea when a voice behind her caused her to jump.

"You okay?" He asked her, she turned around to see him standing in just a pair of shorts.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just couldn't sleep."

He walked up behind her and slipped his hands around her waist, "Come back to bed and I'll tire you out." He said whilst kissing her neck.

"Yeah I'm sure you would, but I don't think it would help me much."

"What's wrong Grace?" he said, his voice quiet and with a more serious tone to it.

"I'm fine, just over worked."

"You're not sleeping, you're distant, you can't concentrate at work, you're not eating properly, you don't want to have sex, in actual fact you don't want me to touch you at all, I'm not stupid Grace I know some thing's wrong."

Grace turned towards him, "Sit down." Boyd pulled out a chair and sat down, Grace sat next to him. "About 16 months ago I had a cancer scare."

"What kind of scare?" he said cutting her off before she could continue.

"Okay, I'm getting to that, I had a tumour on one of my ovaries, they removed the tumour and surrounding tissue, the tumour was benign, so I didn't need any further treatment, but they did say that the tumour could return."

"And you think it's returned?"

"Yes, I'm experiencing the same symptoms as before."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because whatever this is we're doing..."

"Hang on a minute Grace, what do you mean whatever this is we're doing, I was under the impression we were having a relationship."

"Are we? Because I don't know what it is, you turn up a couple of times a week, we have sex, after which you fall asleep, and the next morning you go home and get changed and go to work, is that a relationship?"

"Well isn't it? And for the record, we haven't had sex for a couple of weeks."

Grace looked at him in astonishment, "For the record, the reason we haven't had sex for the last couple of weeks is because I have been finding it very painful, I have also been bleeding afterwards."

Boyd closed his eyes, "I'm sorry Grace." he pulled his chair closer to her and placed his hand over hers, "I care about you, you should have told me."

"This is all so new, I didn't want to lay all this on you."

"I didn't realise that it was a problem, sex I mean, how long has it been like that?"

"About the last month or so, I though it was just an age thing, but then I noticed that I was bleeding after every time."

"What other symptoms do you have?"

"Pain in my lower back, stomach cramps, nausea, bloating in my stomach, and severe mood swings, it's exactly the same as it was last time."

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"I have an appointment today at 11.30."

"Do you want me to come with you? I don't mind."

"It's nice of you to offer but I'll be okay on my own."

"Okay, if you're sure."

"I am, thanks."

"Well in the mean time, why don't you come back to bed, try and get some sleep."

"I can't sleep, and anything else is out of the question at the moment."

"I wasn't suggesting anything else, I just want to hold you."

"I'm sorry, I am all over the place at the moment." Grace wiped a stray tear from her cheek as she spoke.

"Come here." Boyd put his arms around her and held her close, kissing the top of her head as he held her, "Lets go back to bed." He said taking her hand and pulling her towards the stairs.

In bed, she cuddled into his side, he put his arms around her. "Grace promise me something."

"What?"

"Whatever the problem is, don't keep it from me, just tell me, I'll be here for you no matter what."

Grace closed her eyes and pressed her face to his chest, "Okay." she said to him.

He put his hand on her face and drew her up to his eye level, "Promise me?"

"I promise."

Boyd moved forward and kissed her softly. "I can't believe I was hurting you and you never told me."

"You weren't hurting me Boyd, it wasn't intentional, what we were doing was painful, but it wasn't you that was hurting me."

"Just tell me if it ever happens again."

"I will, okay." Grace looked into his dark eyes, and then lifted her lips to his returning his delicate kiss.

o0o0o

After the Doctor's appointment Grace couldn't face work, she text Boyd and told him she was taking the rest of the day off, after she sent the text she turned her phone off, not ready for the flurry of text messages and phone calls that would follow from him. She knew he cared, but she needed to get used to what was going on herself first. At home she made herself a cup of tea and sat digesting the information she had just been given. It didn't take long for her house phone to start ringing, fortunately she'd thought ahead and switched the ansaphone on. She listened to his voice on the machine.

"Grace it's me, what's going on? Why have you switched your phone off? You promised you'd talk to me Grace, whatever it is that's going on I want to know, please just talk to me, don't freeze me out, call me back, please."

She rested her head on her hands, and sighed deeply, she just couldn't talk to him, not yet, she needed time.

She was still sat at her kitchen table a couple of hours later when her doorbell rang, looking at the clock she could see it was still only 2 in the afternoon, surely he wouldn't, she thought to herself.

As she opened the door he stood there in front of her, "What the hell is going on? why aren't you taking my calls?" By the time he'd finished speaking they were back in the kitchen.

"I just wanted some time alone, I needed time to think okay."

"Think about what, what did the Doctor say? I've been worried sick." He was now raising his voice.

"Can you stop bloody shouting at me Boyd? I need some time alone, I'd like you to leave."

He approached her, and put his arms around her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout, I'm just worried, I'm sorry."

Grace momentarily relaxed in his arms, she felt him press his lips against her hair, and she couldn't deny how comforting it felt. "I'm sorry too, I just need some time to think things through okay."

"Just talk to me Grace, please, you promised me you wouldn't keep anything from me."

"The doctor said I have a hormonal imbalance okay."

"The tumour hasn't returned?"

"She doesn't think so, she's sent some bloods off to be tested, I'll know more when the results are back."

"Well that's good isn't it? Or is there something else that you're not telling me?" Grace didn't answer him, "What is it Grace,what is it that you're keeping from me."

"I just need some time to myself."

"Why? What else did she say?" Grace again fell silent. "I'm not going any where until I get the truth Grace, Why can't you just be honest with me? For god's sake woman!" He again raised his voice to her.

"I'm pregnant!" She shouted at him.

"What? No, you can't be, you said it wasn't possible. It must be a mistake."

"It isn't a mistake, and I'm still trying to get my head around it, so I really don't need you shouting at me."

"What so you lied? Did you want to get pregnant? Did you trick me into this?"

"Oh grow up Boyd, I didn't want this, the last thing I want is a baby at my age."

"Oh at least we can agree on one thing then."

"Just leave Boyd will you? I'm tired and I don't want to argue about this right now."

"This isn't all about what you want, I want some bloody answers, you told me we didn't need to take precautions Grace, was it a lie?"

"No it wasn't a lie, and I am not prepared to stand here and be interrogated like one of your bloody suspects, what are you going to do next slap me around until you get the answers you want."

"Now who needs to grow up?"

"Too close to the truth Boyd?"

"I want to know how you ended up pregnant when you told me it wasn't possible."

"I don't know, I thought it was safe, I was wrong, mistakes happen."

"So what are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do? It's all my responsibility is it?"

"Well isn't it?"

"You're responsibility ended when you climaxed did it?"

"No, my bloody responsibility ended when I offered to use a condom and you stopped me, when you told me we were safe."

"I thought we were safe, I did not in any way plan this."

"I fail to see how you could get that wrong."

"Well excuse me if I don't want to get into a biology lesson with you right now, I'll just let you draw your own conclusions, you seem to be pretty good at that."

"You know what I don't even care, I just want to know that you're going to get rid of it."

"Get out, get the hell out of my home and don't bother coming back."

Boyd left almost taking the door off it's hinges in the process, he got in his car and drove off at high speed, his mind in overdrive trying to take everything in. Inside the house Grace sat at her kitchen table, her head in her hands, tears threatening to spill down her face.


	3. Realisation

Hey another chapter, hope you are still enjoying, and enjoy this chapter, I know where this is all heading and am up to chapter 7 already.

**Chapter 3 – Realisation**

Boyd seemed to drive for ages, he couldn't face going back to work, his head was spinning, the thought of being a father again something he couldn't cope with, couldn't even contemplate.

He pulled his car into a public park, not even sure where he was, he got out of the car and walked to a bench that over looked a football pitch. His heart felt like it was gonna burst out of his chest, the anger swirling around inside him so fast he thought he would explode.

He realised the time must be gone 3pm, as there was a steady stream of school kids walking across the grass not far from where he sat. He watched them, boys fighting and kicking footballs, swinging school bags at each other, laughing as the strap on one of the bags broke and the bag hit one of the girls, who in return gives the gang of boys a fowl mouthed response. Another boy and girl walk along hand in hand, they only look about 13, he smiles to himself as he remembers what it was like to be a teenager in love, thoughts of a pretty young girl with blonde curly hair called Suzy who held his hand as he walked her home from a local youth club, she dumped him the next day for a boy who wore a leather jacket.

Another girl walked past him on her own, still in a school uniform, a slightly adjusted uniform to accommodate the large bump that she carried, he figured she was about 15 and about 6 months pregnant, he felt sorry for her, what kind of life was she setting herself up for by getting pregnant so young.

"Kylie wait up?" a voice called, the pregnant girl turned around and waited for a tall boy also in a school uniform, he ran up and took her bag from her, "You shouldn't be carrying that." he said sweetly, and then kissed her and rubbed her tummy.

Maybe I'm wrong Boyd thought to himself, maybe they are blissfully happy, and will go on to have 6 kids and be happily married until they're in their 80's, but then again, probably not.

His thoughts turned quickly to his own son, the last 2 years of wondering where he was felt like a life time, always wondering what he was doing, if he was okay, whether he'd straightened himself out and was living a normal life, or whether he was living on the streets, pumping drugs into his body and doing god knows what to feed his habit, a shiver ran down his spine at the thought.

"Daddy, daddy look at me." Boyd turned quickly as he heard the little boys voice, a child of about 5 years old was swinging upside down on a climbing frame. A memory of a time that seemed like a life time ago, flashed through his mind.

_It was a sunny Sunday morning when Boyd had taken Luke to the park, Luke was about 7 at the time, he had run into the adventure playground, climbing on the frames and running around, as his Dad supposedly looked on. But as always Boyd couldn't forget work and was talking on his phone about the case he was working on, he didn't even notice the screams of a child that had fallen off one of the climbing frames, let alone notice that it was his son who had split his head open. The mother of another child was holding a cloth to Luke's head to stop the bleeding, whilst Luke tried to get the attention of his father. Riddled with guilt Boyd rushed Luke to the hospital where he had 6 stitches in the cut on his forehead, Mary raised the roof when he told her what had happened, his plea of "I only turned my back for a second." falling on deaf ears._

From the day of his sons birth, Peter Boyd seemed to make being a terrible father an art form, his son had been in the world 6 hours by the time he made it to the hospital, Mary had been through labour on her own, and was sleeping by the time he arrived. She wasn't a forgiving woman at the best of times, and she never forgave him for abandoning her on the day that she brought their son into the world, and in an effort to get her own back she named him and registered him before her husband even arrived. Boyd had wanted to name him Joseph after his father, but Mary named him Lucas John, after her father. It was pure spite, but what could he say when he couldn't even get there to see his son born. Most men would have made it a priority, but not Boyd, he was working on a case and waited to make the arrest, before turning up at the hospital 12 hours after his wife had phoned him to say that her waters had broken, and 6 hours after his son had been born.

The relationship between father and son did not improve with time, and Luke Boyd got used to his father being absent from all the important events in his life. From playing football in the back garden of their home to school parents evenings, he was always too busy to give him his full attention, there was always a phone call or a case that needed his undivided attention, always the case and never Luke. School plays and sports days that he always missed, the Sunday league football team that he never got to watch because he was always needed elsewhere. Luke was so proud when he captained that team and when they won the season, but his Dad couldn't even make it to the prize giving evening to see Luke get the golden boot for scoring the most goals in the season, or being voted the most valuable player on his team. After a while, when he couldn't get his Fathers attention for the good things he did, Luke stopped trying and started getting into trouble, he quickly worked out that he got more attention when he was bad than he did when he was good.

His father always seemed to be around for the bad things he did, he picked him up from a supermarket when he was caught shoplifting, and from school when he was excluded for fighting, he reported him missing when he started running away, sometimes he even found him, other times the local constabulary brought him home. He also sat in on an interview when, at 12 years old, he was arrested for possession of cannabis, not his fathers proudest moment as a police officer, but for Luke it felt like a victory, and he revelled in the glory of watching his father squirm. So he did it again, and again, he stole from them, first money, then belongings, at one point even stealing and selling his fathers most precious possession, his grandfathers watch. It was the straw that broke the camels back, and Boyd reported him for theft, more in the hope of recovering the watch than in punishing his son, although he had to admit he wanted to punish him too. He never recovered the watch, and at 14 years old, Luke Boyd was sent to a young offenders institute. Boyd hoped he would get help to straighten himself out, but it worked the other way, Luke distanced himself from his parents, he told his father he hated him and never wanted to see him again, and when he tried to visit him, Luke refused to see him. Luke served 12 months of an 18 month sentence, not just for the theft of the watch, he was already on a suspended sentence for theft and handling stolen goods, Boyd had known when he reported his son that he was condemning him to a custodial sentence.

On his release, aged 15, Luke was older and wiser, but not in the ways his father had hoped, he'd continued to obtain and take drugs inside, as well as fighting and dealing drugs. His parents now separated, Luke was released into his mothers care, where he stayed for just 2 days before running away again, but this time he didn't run away for attention or effect, this time it was because he could no longer stand to be around his parents, and he had no intention of being found.

Boyd sat back on the bench, he looked around the park again, unsure of how long he had sat there thinking about his son. The school kids had now gone, just the stragglers who had probably had detention walking past him now. The adventure playground was almost empty, some older kids now sitting on the swings swigging from beer cans. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, his actions from earlier now coming back to him, he'd acted like a complete shit, and worse had treated Grace appallingly. He needed to explain things to her, to apologise and let her now how he felt. He only hoped she'd let him.

TBC


	4. Another Chance

Thankyou for reading and for reviewing, here is the next chapter.

**Chapter 4 – Another Chance**

Grace woke up to the sound of someone knocking on her front door, she glanced at the clock and noticed it was 7pm, she must have dozed off on her sofa, her cup of tea sat cold on the table in front of her. She didn't even give a thought to who was at the door, and she certainly never expected it to be Boyd, not after their earlier argument.

But it was him, stood as bold as brass in front of her, she knew she didn't have the energy for another row, so went to slam the door in his face without saying a word, but he quickly stuck his foot in the gap, "Grace wait, please, I need to talk to you, I need to explain."

"You said everything you needed to say earlier Boyd, and I don't have the energy for round 2, so can you take your foot out of the door and leave."

Boyd pushed the door back a little, Grace couldn't stop him, he was too strong. "Grace please, I need to talk to you."

"Fine, say what you want and go, you have 5 minutes." She said, eventually relenting through exhaustion rather than a need to hear what he has to say.

As she spoke Grace walked back into her lounge, and he followed her, she sat back down on her sofa and he stooped down in front of her, he took hold of her hand, but she snatched it away from him. "I'm sorry Grace, I am so sorry, I acted like an immature idiot, and I'm sorry."

"Well if that's it you can go."

"Please Grace, I know I was wrong, but we need to talk about this."

"It's too late Boyd, you had your chance earlier."

"I was in shock."

"Well how the hell do you think I felt, whatever you think about this situation, I did not plan this, and it came as a shock to me as well as you."

"I know you didn't plan this, I know you wouldn't do that, earlier I was just angry and hitting out, please talk to me, you were right earlier when you said this wasn't just your responsibility, it's ours and whatever decisions need to be made, we should be making them together."

"Decisions? I thought I was under instructions to get rid of it."

"You have every right to be angry at me, I behaved appallingly, but I'm asking you to forgive me, to forgive my stupid idiotic behaviour, and give me another chance, a chance to explain, and a chance to make it up to you."

"I don't understand why you responded that way, I know it was a shock, but I didn't expect that reaction."

Boyd stood up and sat next to her on the sofa, "Because I am the worst possible parent you could ever imagine, my son hates me, and I think he's always hated me, he was a lovely little boy, but he needed my approval, he wanted my attention, and when he didn't get it for all the good things he did, he did anything else he could think of to get it. It started with simple things, playing truant from school, getting into trouble at school, fighting, and then he moved onto other things, stealing, running away, and eventually he started to take drugs. I had a beautiful little boy that could have done anything and become anything he wanted to be, but I failed him, I was too busy with work and sleeping with other women to notice that he wanted my love, my affection and time, he needed me to show him that I loved him, and I didn't, and now I have no idea where he is or what he's doing, he could be dead for all I know. He could be laying on a morgue slab in a fridge, unidentified and unloved."

"So I tell you I'm pregnant and all you can think of is having another child that will hate you, another little boy that you'll fail."

Boyd nodded his head in agreement, "It's still no excuse for the way I behaved towards you."

"No it isn't, but I can at least understand a little more now."

"So can you forgive me? Give me a chance to make it up to you?"

"I don't know Boyd, the way you behaved this morning, the way you became so angry and enraged, it just reminded me of a time I'd rather forget. I got out of one destructive relationship, I don't want to end up in another one."

"But I would never hurt you, I've never hit a woman in my life, and I would never raise a hand to you, please tell me you didn't think I was going to hit you."

"No, I didn't think you were going to hit me, but there are other ways for a relationship to be destructive, verbal abuse, or mental cruelty."

"But I would never be like that with you."

"Are you sure, because earlier you didn't look like a man in control."

"Yes I am sure, I know I shout and moan at times, but not with you, not outside of work, I care too much about you Grace." He took hold of her hand and drew it to his mouth, kissing it tenderly. "Whatever happens from now on, we're in this together, I'm not going to pretend I'm suddenly over the moon at the prospect of having a baby, but I know we need to decide what's best for both of us."

"So you still think I should have a termination."

"No, I think we should discuss it. How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know, I never even imagined I would find myself pregnant at my age, I thought I was past it."

"What did the doctor say, I mean about the fact that you thought you were, _**past it,**_ as you say, and clearly you're not."

"Yeah I guess I should explain how that happened. When I had the cancer scare or rather after the cancer scare, my periods became irregular, and then stopped completely. I naturally assumed it was the menopause, I was at that age, and was having other menopausal symptoms. I was under the impression that after 12 months without having a period, I was safe not to use contraception, but apparently they now advise people under the age of 50 to wait 24 months before stopping contraception."

"Okay, so what about the rest of your symptoms, what did he say about that?"

"He thinks my hormone levels are all over the place, due to the pregnancy, he gave me some information, and made some suggestions."

"What kind of suggestions?"

"He suggested we use a lubricant when we have sex to stop the discomfort and bleeding, the rest of it will just pass with time, the nausea and bloating may get worse before they get better, and as for the mood swings, get used to them."

"How do you feel about being pregnant Grace? Honestly."

"Scared."

"Why scared?"

"Because at my age there are so many possible complications, so many increased risks."

"Do you want it?"

"I don't know. Part of me thinks it's the most ridiculous thing ever, especially at my age, and then another part of me thinks, maybe, just maybe, I'm being given another chance, a chance to get it right this time."

"But what if you make the same mistakes this time as you did last time, what if we just mess it all up again, what if I destroy another child's life because I'm too selfish or too stupid to learn by my mistakes."

"But you're older now, and hopefully wiser. Isn't there a part of you that wonders what it would be like to bring this little baby into the world, a little part of you and a little part of me. We are both financially stable, it wouldn't be so much of a struggle."

"You want to have it don't you?"

"I don't know, but the more I think about it the more I think I do, but what about you, I've already raised one child alone and I don't want to do it again, if I have it, I want to have it with you in my life, and preferably in my bed."

"I can't answer that."

Grace put her hand on the side of his face, "A few hours ago I thought our relationship was over, I thought I was going to have to make this decision alone, and find a new job so I didn't have to work with you, but you came back, tail between your legs, and man enough to admit that you were wrong, and sorry for the way you behaved. Sometimes you are the most infuriating man I have ever met, but at other times, you are the kindest, most loving and affectionate man I have ever met. Whatever you are when we are at work isn't the real you, and personally I think you would make a fantastic father. You said you wanted another chance, well I'm offering you one, the chance to be a father again, to help me raise our baby, yes we'll make mistakes along the way, and it may not be perfect all the time, but then whose life is? So what do you say?"

TBC


	5. Irritability

Hi Disclaimer as per page 1, enjoy.

**Chapter 5 – Irritability**

Boyd felt the bed move for the fourth time in the last 2 hours, as Grace again got out of bed. "Where are you going now?" He asked her, a slightly irritated tone to his voice.

"Bathroom!" She replied also sounding slightly irritated.

"Again? I'm sure you went 5 minutes ago."

"Yeah well if you had a baby dancing on your bladder you'd be getting up to go every 5 minutes." A few minutes later he felt her sit on the edge of the bed again. "I think I might go and make a cup of tea."

Boyd sat up on the bed behind her and began to gently massage her shoulders and back. "You having trouble sleeping again?" He asked kissing her neck whilst continuing to massage her shoulders.

"Yeah he seems to be playing football tonight."

"Oh it's a he is it? I thought we decided not to know the sex."

"A girl wouldn't kick me like this." She took Boyd's hand and placed it against the side of her stomach, where he felt the baby kick, "See, that's a penalty kick that."

"Yeah that's a pretty strong kick!" He replied, putting both his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder. "Do you want me to get you a cup of tea?"

"Yes, please." As Boyd went downstairs to make her a cup of tea Grace sat back on the bed and made herself as comfortable as she could be at 8 and a half months pregnant, as she did so she felt a sharp pain in her stomach, she tried to ignore it, as she had done with the others that she'd felt since getting into bed a couple of hours ago, the pain passed, just as the others had. Boyd returned with her cup of tea and one for himself, he placed hers on the bedside table and kept his in his hand. As he sat back on the bed he looked at the clock.

"Oh god, it's 3am" he said in a whining tone. "I have to get up for work in a few hours."

"I know, sorry."

"It's not your fault." He replied whilst yawning, he put his hand over on top of Grace's, his thumb rubbing over the top of her hand. As he did so he felt her flinch. "You okay?"

"Mmm she replied lying."

"You don't sound too sure, what's wrong?"

"I think the contractions have started."

"What? Since when?"

"Just after I got into bed."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Boyd stop bloody questioning me."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. How far apart are they?"

"About 15 minutes apart, don't panic, we have ages yet."

"Yeah, you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, I'm going to drink my tea and then take a bath."

"Is it safe for you to have a bath at this stage?"

"Yes it's safe, stop panicking, I promise we have ages yet, this is just stage 1 of labour."

"Stage 1."

"Did you pay any attention in the ante natal classes?"

"Yeah I listened, I remember the breathing stuff."

"The breathing stuff. That's priceless Boyd, well I listened, and I have actually done this before, albeit a long time ago and to a daughter who has a now disowned me for getting pregnant at my age. So just trust me will you?"

"Okay, why don't you have a shower? Just in case anything happens, I could help you in and out of the shower, wash your back!"

"It's a nice thought, but a bath's more relaxing."

"Okay, but I'm staying in the bathroom with you whilst you have your bath."

"What about work in the morning?"

"I am not leaving your side until this baby is born, we're in this together, remember."

"It could be days yet." She replied with a slight laugh in her voice.

"I missed Luke's birth, I am not going to make that mistake again."

"I promise you, you will not miss this baby being born, I want you by my side so I can scream in your ear and squeeze your hand until the colour drains from it. Now, I am going to have a bath."

Boyd ran Grace a bath and then helped her in to it, staying to wash her back, and then her hair for her, she sat relaxing and talking to him, when she suddenly stopped.

"Another contraction?" He asked and held out his hand for her to grip onto.

She looked at him a little concerned. "No, I think my waters have just broken."

"What? I thought you said we had ages?"

"Yeah well, I think this little ones in a bit of a hurry."

"Come on, I think we need to get you out of the bath." He said and helped her out, he wrapped a towel around her and then helped her into the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the bed, he helped her put a top on, but then she again grabbed her stomach, "Another contraction?" This time she was unable to speak, she just nodded her head, Boyd took hold of her hand and helped her to breathe through the pain, as it subsided she was able to speak again.

"Boyd this is happening fast, I don't think we're going to make it to the hospital."

"What? Yes we will, I'll get you there, I need to get you dressed, what do you want to wear?"

"Boyd, calm down and listen to me, you need to phone for an ambulance, they may get here before it's born, if we're lucky, now help me lay on the bed."

"Grace you need to go to hospital, you can't have the baby here."

"Yeah I know I need to go to hospital, but someone forgot to tell the baby, it obviously has it's fathers patience, now for god's sake will you help me onto the bed."

Grace was starting to get irate with him, and he decided it would be best to follow her instructions. "Okay, okay stay calm." He grabbed his phone and dialled 999, whilst helping Grace to lay on the bed, he propped her up on some pillows to make her comfortable, and as he did so she grabbed his hand again, and started to shout to get through the pain.

"Argh, I need to push, Boyd, the baby's coming I can feel it."

Boyd was now speaking to the operator on the emergency line, whilst gripping Grace's hand, and trying to follow instructions, the operator was telling him he needed to examine Grace, to see whether he could see the baby's head, to his shock he could, as the next contraction hit her Grace started to push, Boyd put the phone on loud speaker, so he had both hands free.

She continued to push, and slowly he could see the baby emerging.

"It's good Grace, you're doing really well sweetheart, it's gonna be over real soon." Boyd used his hands to support the baby as it slowly made it's way into the world, and as quickly as it had started it was over, and Boyd was holding his newborn baby.

He looked at Grace with tears in his eyes, "It's a little boy Grace." He handed her the baby, and she placed him on her chest against her skin to help keep him warm, Boyd got a towel and dried him, and then followed the operators instructions on how to ensure he had no mucus in his nose. He then placed a blanket over both Grace and the baby, just as he did that the ambulance arrived and took them all to hospital.

Both Grace and the baby were whisked into the maternity suite to ensure everything was okay, and complete some routine checks, Boyd was asked to wait outside.

About an hour later he was shown to a ward to see both Mother and baby looking extremely well. He sat on the edge of Grace's bed and took her hand. "See I promised you wouldn't miss this birth."

"I certainly didn't miss it, I would have preferred to have a more sideline role though."

"I thought you wanted to be a hands on Dad."

"Yeah maybe not that hands on though. So how's he doing?"

"He's doing fine, he weighs 7 pounds 2 ounces, and we need to decide what to call him."

"Yeah, we never did agree on any names did we."

"Nope."

"Do you have any thing in mind?"

"Not really, how about you?"

"I think it's your prerogative, you did all the hard work, so what do you want to call him?"

"He's our son, we choose something together."

"Well we better come up with something, or the poor little guy's gonna get a complex."

"Well we both quite liked Christopher, if I remember correctly, one of only a couple we did agree on, and the others were girls names."

"It's a good strong name, the bearer of Christ, patron saint of travellers, I think it's a good choice."

"So is that it, are we in agreement?"

"I think we are." He replied.

Grace looked at the baby in her arms, and spoke to him gently, "Christopher Joseph Boyd, this is your Daddy." She handed the little bundle to Boyd, who looked at him adoringly.

"Hi Christopher." He looked at Grace, once again a tear in his eye, Grace leant forward and wiped it away with her hand, just as he leant forward and kissed her softly. "I love you Grace, I love you both."

"I love you too, both of you that is."

TBC


	6. Family

Thanks for your reviews, hope you're anjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

**Chapter 6 – Family**

Grace and Christopher were discharged from hospital after 24 hours, both were fit and healthy, thankfully everything was prepared at home, the nursery was fully stocked with an abundance of nappies and baby grows, and a few soft toys that Boyd seemed to return with every time he went to the shop for something. The room was painted yellow and white, with a border of tumbling teddy bears.

At home, Boyd wanted to do everything for them, as soon as Grace finished feeding Christopher, he would take him, wind him, change him, and then settle him to sleep again. Once the baby was settled he would take care of Grace, making her tea and food, running her baths, she was sure if he could grow breasts he would take over feeding the baby as well. Truth was Boyd couldn't get enough of it, he was a changed man at home, even when Christopher cried in the night, he was the first out of bed, and would see to him if he could, or pass him to Grace if he was due a feed.

Boyd took three weeks paternity leave, whilst Grace had six months maternity leave, and they were both enjoying being at home together all the time. They had even started taking Christopher for a stroll in his buggy in the afternoons, Boyd was quite happy to push the buggy, whilst Grace linked her arm through his and walked by his side.

"I can't believe he's two weeks old already, one more week and I'll be back at work."

"Oh, don't say those words."

"Will you be okay when it's just you two?"

"I think we'll survive" She replied whilst taking a seat on a bench that over looked the duck pond, Boyd parked the buggy in front of her and then took a seat next to her.

"I'm going to miss this, being with him all the time I mean."

"You could always take early retirement, become a full time Dad and house husband."

"Ha, we'd have to get married first." He said with a smile. After a couple of minutes silence he spoke again, "Do you want to?"

"Do I want to what?"

"Get married."

"Do you?"

"I think we're okay as we are, but if you wanted to I would."

"No, I think we're doing just fine." As she spoke Christopher started to cry, Grace lent forward and started to adjust his blanket slightly, which made no difference, So Boyd leant forward and picked him up, he immediately stopped crying. "I think he's going to be a Daddy's boy."

"I hope so." He said looking at her, he held the baby in one arm and placed the other on Grace's back, leaning in gently and kissing her it was a deep passionate kiss that they both seemed to become lost in, that was until Christopher started to cry again.

Just a short chapter to link to the next chapter, which will be up soon.


	7. The Blind beggar

From here on in each chapter will have the name of an episode, that does not mean the chapter will be about that case, but it will relate to that period of time in the series. It may or may not contain information about that episode, and some will have my version of that episode. It will obviously not cover every episode. Hope you enjoy, and as always reviews are appreciated but not essential.

**Also if anyone has the time and expertise, I am looking for a beta, inbox me if you can help.**

**Chapter 7 - The Blind Beggar**

Six Months on from end of chapter 6.

Boyd woke up to the sounds of Christopher screaming in the nursery, there was no sign of Grace, and her side of the bed was cold, so she'd obviously been up for some time. He got out of bed and walked to the room opposite their bedroom, he pushed the door quietly, inside Grace was desperately trying to soothe their son. His face was red and he was screaming, all of her efforts seemed to be failing, and she was now pacing up and down the room gently rocking him.

"How longs he been like this?" He asked a very tired looking Grace.

"It started again about an hour ago."

"Do you want me to take over for a while? You must be exhausted."

Grace handed Christopher over to him, she gently rubbed the baby's back as Boyd tried to settle him on his chest.

"Go back to bed, I'll call you if I need you." He told her.

"Thank you" She replied and gently pecked him on the lips as she walked by.

Boyd gently walked up and down with his son in his arms, bouncing him slightly and gently shushing him as he did so, eventually he sat in the rocking chair and rocked back and forth with him. After another 45 minutes of crying Christopher tired himself out, and started to calm down, he wasn't asleep yet, but at least he'd stopped screaming, he continued to rock him and talk gently to him, until finally he went off to sleep. Boyd put him back in his cot, careful not to wake him up, and then crept quietly back to his own bed.

Grace was asleep, but stirred slightly as he got into bed.

"Has he gone back down?"

"Yeah, at long last, poor little fella, all that for a few teeth."

"What time is it?"

"4am."

"Bloody hell, we'll both be knackered in the morning."

"It'll be okay, it can't be helped." He said whilst yawning loudly.

The alarm clock went off at 6am, and Boyd was the first out of bed, he checked on Christopher, who was still sleeping, he returned with a cup of tea for Grace and woke her up gently, as she'd dozed back off after the alarm.

"Is he still asleep?"

"Yep, sleeping soundly, I just checked on him. If you want to take the day off, after last night, it'll be okay."

"That would look good, I've only been back a couple of weeks, they really will think I'm too old to cope with it all."

"Nobody will think that, Christopher was crying almost solidly from the moment we picked him up till four in the morning, who wouldn't need a day off after that."

"I'm fine, honestly, I need a cup of tea and a shower, and I'll be ready for anything."

"Well I'm gonna grab a shower now, whilst you drink your tea, I'll leave some water for you."

After he showered and dressed, Boyd got Christopher ready, and took him down stairs for his breakfast, leaving Grace time to get herself ready. They left Christopher with a child minder whilst they were at work, dropping him off on the way in and picking him up on their way home.

-o0o-

As they got to work they were called straight out to a church were a body had been discovered in the crypt, by some workmen carrying out renovations. Grace felt a little uneasy in the church, the memories of her strict catholic upbringing ever present in her mind, she genuflected as she passed the altar, it was purely an impulse reaction to her surroundings, but the priest picked up on it never the less.

"I used to be a catholic." She replied when he asked.

"No such thing as used to be." He replied.

It got Grace thinking, about her faith, they'd never had Christopher christened, they'd never even discussed it. They'd discussed getting married, so they all had the same surname, but they'd decided against it, after all, Christopher's surname was Boyd the same as his father's, and she would always keep her maiden name for work purposes, so it didn't seem worthwhile. But a christening was about so much more, his acceptance into the church, and whilst she resented her upbringing, she still had her faith, it just wasn't something she actively practised any more.

Back in the office Grace sat working on the case when her mobile rang, she noticed it was Christopher's child minders number, he'd been grizzly again that morning so she wasn't surprised by the call. Grace ended the call hurriedly and grabbed her coat and bag, she headed straight into Boyd's office.

"Do come in." He said sarcastically.

"We need to get to the hospital, Janice has had to call an ambulance for Christopher." She said hurriedly and with the sound of panic in her voice.

"What? Why? What's wrong with him?"

"She said he was having trouble breathing, he's been taken to Hammersmith Hospital."

Boyd went to speak again but Grace cut him off. "Talk in the car Boyd, we need to go."

"Okay I'm coming." He grabbed his car keys and jacket and almost ran to the car. He drove as fast as he could get away with, when they hit traffic he put the blues and twos on in his car, giving them an almost clear road to the hospital. He parked the car, and they both ran into the reception area of the hospital A&E department.

"Hi, I'm Peter Boyd, you have my son here, Christopher Boyd."

"When did your son come in?"

"In the last hour, he was bought in by ambulance, can you please just tell me where he is." Grace stood behind him slightly as he spoke to the receptionist, her mind doing overtime at the thought of her son being ill.

They were asked to wait whilst the receptionist found out what was going on, Boyd gripped on to Grace's hand as they waited, after a few minutes a nurse came out of a side door.

"Hi Mr and Mrs Boyd?" She asked them.

"Dr Foley and Mr Boyd." He corrected her.

"But you are Christopher's parents?"

"Yes, what's wrong with him? Is he okay?" Grace now responded, getting impatient.

"Christopher was admitted with breathing difficulties and a high temperature, we are doing some tests to try and find the cause, his child minder said that he has been a little grizzly recently."

"He's teething, he's been suffering with it quite a lot."

"Has he ever been diagnosed with asthma?"

"No. Can we see him please?" Grace asked impatiently.

"Yeah of course, if you'd like to come this way." The nurse led them both to a cubicle where Christopher lay on a bed with just his nappy on, a fan focused permanently on him to cool him down, and a drip going into his arm, he was awake, just laying and grizzling on the bed.

They both stood around the same side of the bed, Janice, his child minder left as they arrived, asking them to let her know when they knew what was wrong.

The nurse brought two chairs into the cubicle so they could sit by him, Grace sat and kept her finger in his little hand, Boyd sat with one hand on Grace's back and the other touching his sons hand, neither of them left his side for the next couple of hours, he dozed off occasionally, and then woke up and cried again.

It seemed like an eternity until a doctor came to see them, but eventually one did. He introduced himself as doctor Cartwright, and they listened intently as he began to explain what was wrong with their son.

"Christopher has a chest infection, complicated by the fact that he also has infantile asthma, his temperature has come down and we're giving him paracetamol and antibiotics, his breathing is a little easier now, but as he is still struggling we'd like to keep him in for a night or two."

"We thought he was just grizzly because he was teething, no one has ever suggested he has asthma."

"Infantile asthma is notoriously hard to spot and diagnose, the symptoms can often be confused with other childhood illness's, but at least now we've spotted it we can treat it appropriately."

"How will you treat it?"

"You'll need to use inhalers, we'll give you a special little mask to help you administer it, it's all pretty standard stuff, and it will be trial and error to get the doses at the right level. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask, I'm around whilst he's here, or there are other people around when we move him to the children's ward."

"Can I stay with him?" Grace asked him.

"Yep, that's not a problem, they'll arrange a mother and baby room for you."

"Thank you." She replied

As the doctor left the cubicle, Boyd rubbed his hand affectionately on Grace's back.

"He's going to be okay Grace."

"I've been so scared." She replied.

"Do you need anything from home, for you or Christopher?"

"Yeah, we'll probably need some stuff, I can't think what at the moment."

"Hey." He said to her, but she didn't respond, so he said it again. "Hey, listen to me, he'll be okay, he's a little fighter."

Grace turned to look at him, her face full of anguish, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

"It's okay." He said to her pulling her into his embrace, she wept quietly against his shoulder.

"Earlier when I was in that church, I was thinking about getting him christened, we'd never discussed it before, and I kept thinking we should have."

"If you want to get him christened then we will okay, we'll choose godparents and get him a nice little outfit, big party, the works, whatever you want we'll have, as soon as he's better, okay?"

"Yeah." She replied, reaching for a tissue.

"Are you going to be okay on your own for a while, I'll go home and grab some stuff for you both."

Grace nodded her head, "Do you know what to get?"

"I'll just grab some basics for both of you." He placed his hand on the back of her head and leant forward and kissed her. "I love you." He whispered the last part to her.

-o0o-

Christopher was moved to a children's ward, and he and Grace were given a side room, where Grace could stay over night with him, Boyd returned with a change of clothing and some toiletries for Grace, and some clothes for Christopher, he also remembered one of his cuddly toys.

By the time he returned to the hospital Christopher was already looking a little brighter, he was now in a cot, and they were able to pick him up, as long as they were careful not to pull the cannula out of his arm, Grace put a little body suit on him, one that Boyd had bought him, it had a picture of Roo from Winnie the Poo, and the words,_ I love my Mummy on it._

Boyd stayed with them until around 10pm, then he kissed them both good bye and left for the night. Grace tried her best to get some rest on the small camp bed that was in the room, but if truth be told, she was too worried about her son to worry about the discomfort of the sleeping arrangements. She spent most of the night watching him, picking him up if he cried and just holding him.

-o0o-

At 10am the next morning Boyd opened the door to the hospital room to find Grace holding Christopher and looking out of the window with him, he kissed her and then took Christopher from her.

"He looks so much better today."

"Yeah I know, he had a reasonably good night, the Doctor was round earlier, they said they'll probably let him go home today."

"Hey that's good mate, you wanna come home with Mummy and Daddy?" He spoke directly to the baby, bouncing him gently as he did so.

"They said his breathing is a lot better and he no longer has a high temperature, they're going to give us some antibiotics for him, and some liquid paracetamol, and he should be back to normal in a couple of days, we need to see an asthma specialist as well, sort out what he needs."

"Okay, how are you? Did you get any sleep?"

"A bit, an hour, maybe two, but I'm okay. Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really, the beds too big without you, as someone once sang, and I was worried about this little guy." Grace rubbed Christopher's back as Boyd held him. "We're going to be okay you know, all of us."

"I know, but thank you for reminding me." She replied, stretching up to kiss him lightly.

TBC


	8. A Simple Sacrifice

The next chapter for you, although I am now getting my new work beta'd, this has not been, as it is something I have already half posted and didn't want to ask someone to beta something half way through, so will finish this as is, and hope you forgive me my errors. I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 8 – A Simple Sacrifice**

Christopher was released from hospital later that day, much to the relief of both his parents, they were given inhalers to use on him, as well as medication for the following week. He was back to normal in no time at all, Grace took a week off work to take care of him, and was now back at work. They were given follow up appointment's with the asthma specialist, and told to keep an eye on his chest, but other than that they were back to normal.

As promised, Boyd had agreed to getting Christopher christened, and was even helping with the arrangements, they had booked a small venue for a party, and bought him a little ivory satin sailor suit, with matching hat and shoes. The only argument left to solve was the godparents, Grace wanted Frankie, but neither of them felt they could ask her without asking Mel and Spence, but Mel was jewish and even if she agreed to be his godparent they weren't sure the church would allow it.

Boyd was a bit down about the fact that he had still not heard from his other son, he wished above everything else that he could be at his brothers christening, but in reality, after this amount of time, he knew he stood no chance of finding him. Grace's daughter Jules, was refusing to come to the christening, she'd cut all ties with her mother since she'd told her she was pregnant. So Christopher would have neither of his older siblings at his big day, something that saddened both of his parents.

In the end they decided that they would ask all three of their colleagues to be godparents to their son, they knew that they were fine upstanding and honest people who over the last few years had become friends to both of them, and who they would happily entrust with the care of their son.

Mel gladly accepted, and the church had agreed to allow her to be his guardian, rather than a godparent.

So it was solved, godparents chosen, outfits selected, venue and church booked, all they had to do now was wait for the day.

- o0o -

At work they were reviewing the case of Annie Keel, a woman who was in jail for the vicious murder of her husband and her neighbours child.

The case was progressing well, and Boyd was on his way to visit Annie's solicitor to get some information he needed. At the office Grace sat chatting to a member of the Annie Keel is innocent website, all of sudden the man she was talking to disappeared out of the room, and a few minutes later the very familiar form of Boyd walked slowly down the stairs and into the room.

"Oh my god, Boyd! Boyd!" She called into the microphone, but he clearly didn't hear her. He walked over to the computer, pblivious to the footsteps behind him. "Boyd lookout!" She shouted at the screen, but it was too late, she saw the look of shock on Boyd's face as the knife was plunged into his back, not once but twice. Reece Dickson, kept the knife in his back the second time, holding him in front of the webcam as Grace looked on horrified, her partner could be fatally wounded in front of her and she could do nothing.

"Boyd hold on, help is on it's way." She said, Reece Dickson suddenly fled leaving Boyd alone, he sunk to his knees, gripping onto the table. Gunshots rang out in the background, as Spence and Mel took Dickson out, and then went onto search for Boyd.

"Grace can you hear me?"

"Yes I can hear you, stay calm okay, you're going to be okay."

"Just in case anything happens, I want you to know..." His voice began to break up as he spoke. "I love you Grace, and Christopher, and I don't regret having him, not for a minute, you two are my life, and..." He slid further down the desk and onto the floor as he lost consciousness.

In her office Grace put her hand over her mouth as he fell to the ground, and watched helplessly as Mel and Spencer tried to attend to him, the paramedics were close behind, and it didn't take long for them to get him out of that basement and in to the ambulance.

Frankie drove Grace to the hospital, and by the time they arrived Boyd was already in the emergency department, they were asked to wait in a relatives room until someone could come and talk to them about his condition. They were joined a while later by Spencer and Mel, and they all waited together.

Grace felt like she'd spent her life here recently, first her son now her partner, that felt weird too, they hardly ever referred to each other as partners or boyfriend and girlfriend, he was Boyd and she was Grace, that's how it was.

A short time later the door opened, and a Doctor came into see them, "Hi, I'm looking for Peter Boyd's next of kin."

"That would be me, I'm Grace Foley." She said in a quiet voice.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Sharma." He replied, "Mr Boyd has two puncture wounds to his lower back, a scan has revealed that he hasn't suffered any damage to his vital organs, but he will need an operation to repair the damage, so he's not out of the woods yet, but the prognosis is good."

"Can I see him?"

"They'll be whisking him up to surgery soon, but you can have a few minutes, If you'd like to come with me."

The Doctor led Grace through to a cubicle, where Boyd lay on a stretcher, wires stuck to his chest, needles in his arms, and an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, he was conscious, but drowsy. As soon as he saw her he tried to move, but then grimaced in pain and lay back again, instead he stretched out his hand, and Grace took it willingly.

He lifted the mask from his mouth. "I'm sorry!" He said to her.

"For what? You didn't do this, and anyway you're going to be okay."

"I'm sorry you saw it happen."

"It's okay, everything is going to be okay." She lent forward and kissed his forehead.

"I love you Grace, if anything happens to me, you and Christopher will be taken care of, I promise."

"You'll be here to take care of me and Christopher, so stop talking like that."

Just then the porters came in to take him to theatre, Grace kissed him on the lips and returned his oxygen mask to his mouth. He mouthed the words I love you, through the mask as they started to wheel him away.

"I love you too." She replied to him, a tear in her eye as he went out of view.

Grace returned to the room where the others were still waiting.

"How is he?" Frankie asked.

Grace nodded her head, "He's fine, well as fine as you can be with two knife wounds in your back." As she said the last word, her voice started to crack with emotion, Frankie put her arms around her and held onto her.

"This is Boyd we're talking about Grace, It will take more than a couple of knife wounds to keep him down, he'll be fine."

"I know, he just looked so weak in there."

"He'll be fine, we'll stay with you until he's out of theatre." Grace nodded at her, "What about Christopher, does he need picking up?"

"No he's fine for now, he's with his child minder, she's going to keep him over night, she has everything he needs."

"Okay, well everything's sorted then. Spence can you find somewhere we can get some coffees?"

"Yeah no problem."

Spence brought back some coffee's and the four of them sat in the relatives room for the next few hours, until a nurse came to tell them that he was now on a high dependency ward, the operation had gone well, and he was okay.

Grace was shown to the ward, he was still sleepy from the anaesthetic, so wasn't really aware of her, but she sat and held his hand, promising herself she wouldn't leave until he was awake and talking to her.

It took approximately another four hours for him to come round properly, and the first thing he became aware of was the soft, warm hand in his, gripping his hand tightly. He turned his head slightly, and could see her sat looking at him, he smiled as much as he could, and gripped her hand back, "You're still here." He said to her.

"You didn't think I'd leave before you woke up did you?" She replied, lifting his hand and gently rubbing it against her face before kissing it gently.

"Thank you." He replied, his voice hoarse from the breathing tube that had been down his throat, and muffled by the oxygen mask covering his face, "Where's Christopher?"

"Janice is keeping him overnight, I told her what had happened. How you feeling?"

"Bit sore, but the morphine is working well, it only hurts if I move."

"Better not move then."

"You should go home, you look exhausted."

"I'm doing okay, I've been too worried about you to go home."

"I'm going to be fine, go home and get some sleep."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I never want rid of you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I never thought I'd feel like this again after my marriage ended."

"Did you bang your head when you collapsed?"

"No I don't think so, why?"

"Because you've started talking all soppy and emotional."

"I thought I was going to die, that I'd never see you again, never get to see Christopher grow up, I don't ever want to feel like that again."

"I know, I was scared too, but everything is going to be okay."

"Why don't you give me a kiss and then go home, we'll both feel better tomorrow."

Grace stood up and perched on the edge of his bed, she lifted his oxygen mask off his face and pressed her lips gently against his, keeping them there for a few seconds. "I love you, try and get some sleep, I'll be back in the morning."

"I love you too."

- o0o -

Boyd spent the next five days in hospital before they eventually let him home, Grace had refused to take him home any earlier, despite his constant requests to discharge himself. His stitches were removed the following week, just in time for Christopher's christening.

On the Sunday morning Grace got Christopher ready, covering his beautiful christening suit with a bib, until it was time to leave. Boyd's wound was still giving him some pain so she had to help him put his suit on too. Once she'd dressed the boys, as she put it, she got ready herself.

Spencer, Mel and Frankie all went to their home so they could travel to the church together, they had a range of other friends and relatives going, but everyone else was going straight to the church.

Spencer carried his god son into church, Boyd usually carried him everywhere, but he couldn't yet pick him up because of his wounds, something he was really angry about.

At the church Christopher was christened in the sight of god and his parents, godparents, guardian, friends and family, it was a very big occasion for Grace and Boyd, and they looked on with pride as the vicar wetted his head over the font, he never even cried.

Afterwards they had a christening party at a nearby hotel, where the food and alcohol flowed freely, and everyone had a fantastic time. Spencer was so proud of his new godson that he carried him around for most of the evening, until he needed changing that is, then he quickly handed him back to Grace.

Back at home Grace changed Christopher and put him to bed, she was stood over his cot watching him sleep when Boyd walked in. He put one arm around her shoulders and kissed her lightly.

"You happy?" He asked her.

"I've got my two favourite men back home with me, where they should be, so yes I am very happy. What about you, are you happy?"

"As long as I've got you and him, I'll always be happy." He replied kissing her with a little more passion, she put her arms around his waist and pulled him closer, her mouth moving along his neck. He stopped her, "As much as it pains me to say it, I can't, I have trouble sleeping let alone doing anything active."

"That's the first time you've ever turned me down."

"With a bit of luck it will be the last bloody time too." He replied with a smile.

TBC


	9. Shadowplay

The next chapter, hope people are still reading and enjoying, this is where Boyd starts to show his true colours.

**Chapter 9 – Shadowplay **

Three year jump from the last chapter, Christopher Boyd is now three and a half years old, Grace and Boyd are still happy together, and the team is still, the team.

oo0oo

Boyd sat at the breakfast table with Christopher on his lap. They were both eating toast, although Christopher was making rather a lot of mess compared to his Dad.

"Don't do that it's naughty, keep it on the plate." Boyd said to his son as he started taking his food off the plate and putting it on the table. "No!" He said sternly to him, although he never could tell him off, he was too soft on him, Grace was the disciplinarian, and she was still upstairs.

Christopher looked at him and grinned, he had a smile just like his dad's, and he got away with blue murder. He had Jam around his mouth from his toast, and was wriggling to get down, he eventually succeeded.

"Where you going?"

"Find Mummy."

"No Mummies in the shower, she'll be down soon, don't go upstairs." Boyd eventually got up and stopped him half-way up the stairs, getting jam on his clean shirt in the process, something he wasn't pleased about.

"Ah shit!" he said.

"That's a bad word."

"Shh, don't tell Mummy, okay." He said to him, taking him to the kitchen and sitting him on the work surface before using a wet wipe to clean his hands and face.

"Don't tell mummy what?" A voice behind them asked. He turned to see Grace stood behind them. Christopher started to speak but Boyd shushed him, and pulled a face, making him giggle, and he had the most infectious giggle ever.

"Daddy said a bad word." He said, still giggling.

"Grass!" He said to his son making him laugh even more. "Here you have him. I need to get a clean shirt."

"Why? What happened to that one?"

"Our son happened to this one, oh, and he hasn't finished his breakfast."

"What did you do to Daddy's shirt?" She asked him, lifting him off the work surface and sitting him back at the table.

"Jam!" He replied as if it answered the question.

"Finish your breakfast, and drink your milk."

He sat on a chair and finished his toast and milk, before Grace again cleaned him up with some wipes. "Do you need to on the potty before we go?" Christopher nodded his head, and Grace took him and sat him on his potty, just as Boyd was walking back down the stairs.

"Finish Mummy!" He shouted a few minutes later. Grace walked back in to see Boyd was already seeing to him. He then put his jumper and jacket on ready to leave. He picked him up and carried him through to the kitchen.

"We're ready to go." Boyd said to her.

Christopher now went to nursery half the day and to his child minder for the remainder of the day. So they took him to nursery on their way to work. Boyd held his hand and walked him into the nursery, hanging his coat up in the cloakroom and kissing him goodbye before he went into his class. He was, with Christopher, the kind of Dad he wished he'd been with Luke, maybe then he wouldn't have lost him. Christopher was his and Grace's world, they idolised him.

oo0oo

In the office Grace and Boyd had a completely professional relationship, no matter what they did at home, in the office it was just work. Their relationship was public knowledge, the fact that Grace worked for the home office not the Met, allowed them to work and live together. It was a small loop hole in the Met's guidelines on people not working with relatives or partners. It allowed them to carry on as they were, and it suited them both perfectly.

They were working on a case that involved several women with mental health problems, who had claimed that they had committed their crimes on the say so of someone calling himself the shepherd.

At first, they thought it was just one woman's excuse, but now they had more women claiming the same thing. The two of them were in his car, on the way to Matt Carney's flat, where they believed Mel maybe in danger, as they pull into the car park of the block of flats, a loud thud hit the car. He screeched to a halt, and they both froze for a minute, in shock. He exited the car first, to see the body of Mel Silver laying broken and lifeless on the ground. He walked over to her, already sure she was dead, but a need to be sure ever-present in his mind. Once he was positive he turned around to see Grace stood by the car, staring at the body, neither of them able to process what had just happened.

With Mel's killer dead, the team processed the crime scene, as heartbreaking as it was. None of them really spoke about it, and Boyd got someone else to speak to Mel's parents. It was another senior officer, he couldn't face doing it himself.

As per a normal evening, they drove home via Christopher's child minders house and picked him up. He fell asleep in his car seat on the journey home. The journey was silent, neither of them spoke about the day's events, Boyd hadn't even put his arms around her in comfort, he had dealt with everything as a policeman, remaining detached from the reality of the situation.

Frankie was appalled at having to deal with Mel's body. She did as he asked, but she was heartbroken. She and Mel had always been close. They'd hit it off from the moment they'd met, and today he made her process the body of her best friend. Grace and Spencer couldn't believe what they were seeing, Grace pleaded with him to get another forensic scientist for this job, but he insisted that Frankie was the best, and Mel deserved the best.

oo0oo

At their home, she went to the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine, pouring them one each. He took it willingly, and sat with Christopher in his arms as she prepared dinner. The evening was as silent as the car journey had been, he didn't eat or speak. He held his son and drank his wine.

It was a couple if hours later when Grace took Christopher from him and put him to bed, she then took a bath and went to bed herself. She wasn't surprised when he didn't join her straight away. She knew he needed to be alone with his thoughts. He wasn't a man who talked about how he felt, not normally. Oh he had the occasional gush of feelings, when they were alone, and he felt the need to tell her how much he loved her, or when he was stabbed, and he talked about the fear he felt at the thought of leaving her and Christopher behind. However, this was different. He was hurting, and he had no idea how to express that, all he knew was how to be himself, big, strong Boyd, who doesn't cry or show his emotions. He protects those he loves, and today when one of those he loved needed him. He wasn't there, and in his eyes he's to blame.

Beautiful, happy, lovely Mel, a brilliant police officer, a good and loyal friend, and godmother to their son, and her life had been extinguished like the flame on a cheap candle.

Grace curled up on her side and cried herself to sleep, the images of the day ever in the forefront of her mind. She wanted, no, needed him to hold her in his arms, to let her cry as he held onto her, but he wasn't there.

She woke at 3am to find the bed next to her still cold and empty. She walked down the stairs to see him still sat on the sofa, staring into space. Sitting beside him, she softly rubbed his arm.

"Come to bed." She spoke gently to him.

He looked at her, his eyes cold and empty. She took his hand and pulled him to his feet, keeping a hold on his hand as they ascended the stairs, she looked in on Christopher as they passed his bedroom door, he was fast asleep, oblivious to what was going on in his parent's world, how lucky he was.

Boyd undressed and climbed into bed next to her, she lay on her side facing him as he lay on his back, she ran her finger up and down his arm.

"Hold me?" She asked him, her voice quiet.

He looked at her before turning onto his side and putting his arms around her, he leant forward and kissed her, a deep lingering kiss, he rolled her onto her back and continued to kiss her. It wasn't the way he usually kissed her. These weren't the normal soft, delicate and passionate kisses he usually showered her with. It was hard and impatient. As he kissed along her neck, he began to bite her soft skin, again he was rough and aggressive, she knew he would leave a mark and tried to gently stop him. She succeeded. He stopped biting her. He rolled on top of her and penetrated her roughly, causing her to cry out. He continued to thrust into her, pinning her hands above her head.

Sex had never been like this between them. He was usually a gentle and considerate lover, but this was anger. She knew where it was coming from and why, and she put up with it for as long as she could, but when he started hurting her, she knew she'd have to stop him.

"Boyd stop it? You're hurting me." At first, he continued, so she managed to pull her hand free from his, and put it on his face. "STOP." She said sternly to him, he stopped moving and stared down at her, a confused look on his face. "You're hurting me Boyd." She wasn't even sure he knew what he was doing, he seemed to be dissociating. He rolled off her and out of bed, pulling a pair of trousers on and grabbing a shirt he walked out of the bedroom.

"Wait don't walk away, come back to bed?" She pleaded with him but he walked away, spending the night on the sofa.

oo0oo

In the days that followed, Mel's body was laid to rest in the presence of her family and close friends, all except one. He'd gone out on the morning of the funeral and not returned until later that day, and when Grace tried to talk to him about it, he refused, all he did say was that Mel was dead and going to a service wouldn't change that, he said it was over with, and they needed to move on.

If only it were that easy, since Mel's death things had changed, he had changed, he was constantly distant, he avoided spending time with Christopher, stayed at work long after he needed to, and when he got home, he was quiet, solitary and moody, if they spoke it was usually to argue, they were never intimate with each other, and he usually spent the night on the sofa.

oo0oo

As days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, she hoped his behaviour would change, but it didn't, and life was becoming miserable. She tried to talk to him, but he usually just walked away, or it ended up in a row. She was growing tired of it, and she could see it was affecting Christopher. Boyd was grumpy with him. He avoided picking him up or playing with him, something he used to love. He always used to make a point of sitting on the floor with him and playing with his toy cars or trains. He always read him a story before he went to bed, cuddled him if he cried, now, he was short tempered with him. He'd even shouted at him a couple of times, causing Christopher to cry. Bed time stories had gone, as had play times, and he was now running to his Mum when he cried, Boyd couldn't see it, but he was allowing history to repeat itself.

Grace was in no doubt that he was suffering from clinical depression brought about by Mel's death, but he refused to get help. He wouldn't talk about it. He never cried. He'd never even been to Mel's grave, and she was growing tired of the situation.

The final straw came three months after Mel's death. It was over breakfast. Boyd was his usual sullen self. Christopher was sat on a chair eating his breakfast. It was another thing that had changed. Boyd always used to sit him on his lap when he ate, as he was too big for his high chair and too small for a normal chair, but he no longer held him. As usual, he was making a mess. He had a large amount of egg yolk on his hands and face, when he stood on his chair and put his hands on Boyds clean shirt.

"Oh for fucks sake." He shouted at the little boy, "No Christopher, okay, NO!" He picked his son up and smacked his bottom, causing Christopher to cry and scream.

Grace immediately picked him up and held him, "What the hell are you doing?"

"He's just got egg all over my clean fucking shirt. He needs discipline Grace."

"He's three and a half years old. He needs love, not discipline, and he certainly doesn't need to be smacked."

"Well I think he does. He needs to know the difference between right and wrong."

"He needs his Dad back."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you need help Boyd. You're obviously depressed, and you need to deal with it, to get help, talk to someone or get medication, but this cannot go on."

"I am not depressed and I don't need medication or to spend my time talking to some arsehole who's going to tell me to deal with my problems, you want to know what my problem is, it's this, Grace okay. You trapped me into this situation by getting pregnant, and now I'm trapped in this domestic fucking nightmare that I never wanted, okay, now you deal with it."

"No Boyd, I'm tired of dealing with it, for my sake and for Christopher's, I think it would be better if you moved out."

"That's the best suggestion you've ever made."

Boyd slammed the door and left, over the next couple of days he moved his things out and back into his old house. He'd never sold it, he said it was a connection to Luke, and if Luke ever came back he wanted him to be able to find his home still there. Now he went back to live there, single and alone, repressed, depressed and unloved.

TBC


	10. Straw Dog

**I've not updated this for a while, as I have been concentrating on other fics, but this is almost completely written now it will go up to about 22 Chapters eventually. As always enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 – Straw Dog<strong>

* * *

><p>Grace and Boyd continued to live apart, and Boyd continued to ignore the fact that he was depressed. It was now four months since he'd left home, and in that time he hadn't been to see his son. Today was Christopher's fourth birthday, and Grace knew he had bought him a toy aeroplane when they'd visited a model shop on a case recently, whether he came round to give it to him was yet to be seen.<p>

At work things remained relatively unchanged, it was difficult at first, but now they carried on as before, professional. Grace refused to give up on him; she knew she loved him too much for that, she'd hoped asking him to move out would bring him to his senses, that he loved her and Christopher too much to actually leave, but it back fired, and now, instead of living together miserably; they were living apart miserably, and she was once again a single parent.

She found it difficult at first, working and looking after Christopher was exhausting, Christopher constantly asked where Daddy was, and it broke her heart tell him he'd gone away for a while. She soon got into a routine; Christopher had never been a good sleeper and often cried in the night, or got up, and in the past, it had been Boyd, who had seen to him, put him back in bed and got him back off to sleep, now it was her, and she'd taken to taking him into her bed, reading him a story and sleeping with him in her arms, it wasn't ideal, but it worked.

Grace was up, showered and dressed before she went into get Christopher up, she bathed and dressed him before taking him downstairs to see his cards and presents. She'd bought him a bike, a Thomas the tank engine bike to be exact, and his face lit up when he saw it. There were also a few other parcels and cards, Frankie had sent a large box and card through the post. The card was to my special godson on his birthday, and inside, she'd written how much she missed seeing them both since she'd moved on to pastures new. She couldn't stand working in the CCU after the loss of Mel, so she took another research post. She stayed in touch with Grace, and phoned often to see how they were. When they opened the parcel, it contained a very large plastic tool kit complete with a toy work bench that needed to be put together, she sighed as she realised how much she wanted Boyd to be there.

"Uncle Spence will put that together later." She told him.

He also had a card and voucher from Mel's parents, despite being jewish, and having to find a way around her being a godparent in a Christian church. Mel had been very proud of her role in Christopher's life, and her parents were carrying this on. Grace made a note to herself to write back to them later.

Grace and Christopher had breakfast before heading to nursery, she took a birthday cake with them, as the nursery were having a party for him. She took him into nursery, walking him in, another thing that Boyd had always done, that she now did. She kissed him goodbye, and he ran into his class.

At work Grace was giving evidence in the court of appeal, it was a very emotive case for Grace, the first case she had ever worked on, and one where she'd had a fling with the investigating officer, DS Harry Taylor, she fell for him hook, line and sinker, and then found out he was married with children. She had become the one thing she promised herself she would never be, the other woman. She hated betrayal, in her eye's women who slept with married or attached men were the lowest of the low, but Harry had duped her, led her to believe he was single, that was until the day she told him she was pregnant. His jaw fell open. She thought it was a shock, but not that bad. They were both adults. She knew how she felt about him, and she assumed he felt the same about her. Then he dropped the bombshell that he was married with three children.

She was devastated. When she'd told Boyd that she was pregnant with Christopher, he'd reacted badly, and taken time to get his head around it, but at least he'd stood by her in the end, and until recently he'd been the perfect father, it was only recent events that had changed that, and she knew eventually he'd come to terms with Mel's death and return to being the man he was, the man and the father that he is.

Harry wasn't that man, he'd turned his back on her, and alone and afraid she'd had a termination, unable to confide in anyone, too ashamed at her circumstances to admit the truth.

Harry Taylor was later killed in a car accident, whilst under the influence of alcohol. She hadn't seen him in a year, but it still saddened her immensely. She'd been in love with him, and no betrayal could wipe those feelings away without a second thought.

Now some of his cases were under review, and the one she'd worked on was one of them. Tony Greene was a dangerous serial killer who preyed on young men, removing their fingers, whilst they were still alive, torturing and mutilating them before eventually murdering them. Now he was claiming he was framed by Harry Taylor.

Grace was in the office before everyone else, she'd been sat at her desk reviewing the case notes when she heard the door to the offices open, and saw Boyd walk in, he went straight into his office and sat at his desk.

Grace looked at the time. She needed to leave soon so grabbed her bag and coat and headed to Boyd's office. She opened the door without knocking.

"Hey." She said softly.

"You leaving already?"

"I'm in court today, remember?"

"Oh yeah, the Tony Greene appeal, well have a good day."

"Are you coming around to see Christopher today?" He didn't respond. He just stared at his PC screen. "He's been asking for you." He looked at her but still didn't answer her. "It's his birthday Peter."

"I know Grace. I wouldn't forget his birthday."

"Really, because you seem to have forgotten you even have a son."

He knew she was right. It had been months since he'd seen him. He just couldn't bring himself to go and see him, not after that day when he'd hit him, it may have only been a smacked bottom, but to Boyd, it was unforgivable, and if he couldn't forgive himself, how could he expect anyone else to?

He'd drifted off, "Boyd? Boyd?" she called to get his attention.

"I'll pop around this evening, if that's okay?"

Grace smiled softly at him, "It's fine. He'll be really pleased to see you."

"Will he?"

"He's your son Boyd, he idolises you."

Boyd fell silent again, and Grace left him to it, heading off for her day in court.

Grace gave her evidence in court. It was difficult seeing Tony Greene again after all those years, he still looked as evil and filled with hatred as he did the first time she'd seen him, but more difficult than that was remembering her past, the times with Harry and the termination, something she had always regretted.

She left court, and was walking down the steps outside when someone suddenly grabbed her bag, knocking her to the ground in the process, she tried to hold on, but to no avail, he got away with her bag.

She returned to the office in a thoroughly pissed-off mood. Her purse was in her bag, now she would have to cancel all her cards and her mobile, all this, and it was on Christopher's birthday.

As she walked into the bull pen Boyd walked straight over to her, "You okay?"

"No, not really, I was bloody mugged outside the courtroom."

"Yeah we know." Stella replied.

"Well how do you know?"

"Your bag was handed in to the front desk. We put it on your desk, would you like a coffee?"

"Yes, thank you Stella." She replied as she walked through to her office to inspect her bag and see what was missing.

Boyd followed her, "Are you sure you'reokay? Did he hurt you at all?"

"I'm fine. He never touched me. Hejust grabbed my bag and knocked me over in the process, but I'm okay."

"Take the rest of the day off, I'll drive you home." Grace was stood silently staring into her bag in front of him, "Is everything okay?"

Grace slowly lifted a jar out of her bag. It contained several severed fingers. She put the jar on her desk and then put her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, it's happening again."

Boyd steered her out of her office, and into his as the others dealt with the evidence, he sat her on his sofa and handed her the coffee that Stella had made for her. He sat next to her, and spoke softly to her, "Drink this, and I'll take you home okay?"

"What about the jar, what if it is happening again?"

"Felix is examining the jar and the contents, and your bag. She will keep us up to date with what's happening."

Boyd eventually managed to convince Grace to let him take her home, stopping off at his home on the way to pick up Christopher's birthday present. Grace went in with him, and was shocked to see that he had been sleeping on the sofa, his bedding still in place. He said he hadn't gotten around to buying a new bed since he'd moved in, but it was more than that, his clothes were scattered around the room, his suits hanging on the door frame. He was clearly still not dealing with his depression. His living arrangements just confirmed that he had not moved any further on.

Grace's house was still scattered with Christopher's birthday presents, wrapping paper, cards and envelopes, and Grace felt the need to apologise for the mess. Not that Boyd was bothered in the slightest, they sat and drank a cup of tea before Boyd went and collected their son. He was strangely nervous, having not seen him for the last few months. He was worried how Christopher would behave towards him. But his son flew at him as soon as he saw him, grabbing onto him and squealing "Daddy!" Very loudly.

Back at home he spent the evening playing with Christopher and his new toys. Spencer came around with a present for his godson; Felix accompanied him and gave them an update on the case. Informing them that one of the fingers in the jar was less than 48 hours old, meaning that, as Grace feared, it was happening again, and they needed to find the victim.

Grace eventually put Christopher to bed, leaving Boyd tidying up as she did so, when she returned downstairs he had poured her a glass of wine and the two of them sat together for a while, he still didn't talk about anything important, such as Mel's death, but it was almost like old times. He glanced at his watch after a while, "I should make a move, let you get to bed, as long as you feel safe, I could sleep on the sofa if it would make you feel safer."

"We'll be fine, if they wanted to get to me, I think they would have done it earlier when they snatched my bag, but thank you."

"As long as you're sure."

"I am."

Boyd left, and Grace locked the doors and headed to bed. She wasn't sure she would sleep, and had only been in bed an hour when she heard Christopher out of bed, and running up and down the landing, fortunately he couldn't open the stair gate at the top of the stairs, as much as he tried. Grace got out of bed to find him running a toy car up and down the floor. He looked up at her, his cheeky grin in full view.

"Where's Daddy?" He asked her.

"He's gone home, why aren't you in bed?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "This is home."

"Not for Daddy it isn't. He has a different home now." She picked him up off the floor and carried him into her room, and laid him in her bed, getting in beside him. She was glad really, having him close to her where she knew he was safe.

The days that followed were becoming ever more stressful, for Grace, she had told the team to investigate her during their investigation. They now had a name for who they were looking for, Kevin Keogh. He was a young homeless Irish boy, and they had since received video footage of another of his fingers being gruesomely removed, the sound of Kevin's screams ringing in their ears as they watched the footage, trying to gain any bit of evidence they could from it. As Felix went over the evidence, Boyd questioned Grace about her relationship with Harry Taylor, his constant questioning driving her mad.

"What are you keeping from me Grace?"

"I'm not keeping anything from you, you know everything."

"I know you well enough to know when you're keeping something from me, you told us to investigate you, we're doing what you wanted, and we deserve to know the truth."

"You mean you deserve to know the truth, to know if I was sleeping with Harry Taylor."

"Well where you?"

"Yes! Okay, yes I was. We had an affair. I didn't know he was married. I would never have become involved with him if I'd known he was married."

"How long did it last?"

"Are you asking as a detective or my former lover?"

"A bit of both I guess."

"It lasted around three months, whilst we were working on the case."

"Did you suspect that he was beating confessions out of suspects?"

"I would never have stood by whilst he did that."

"That wasn't what I asked? Harry Taylor had an unbelievably high conviction rate, did you ever suspect that he was using violence to obtain confessions?"

"Yes, after I questioned Tony Greene."

"What made you suspect?"

"He stopped me interviewing him, and told me to go home, he said he would take over, and that I shouldn't wait, but I did wait, and when he came back to the office at 3am, he said Greene had confessed, but when I questioned him, he had no intention of admitting anything. He later withdrew the confession."

"Why had you not seen Harry for a year before he died?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"I need to know Grace."

"It's personal Boyd, and it's nothing to do with the case."

"Stop holding out on me Grace, why hadn't you seen him for a year before he died."

"Because he told me he was married, he told me when I told him I was pregnant, and no it wasn't intentional. I was in love with him, and I thought he felt the same. When I discovered I was pregnant I was happy about it, and I thought he would be too, but he told me he was already married with three children. I was devastated, and I had a termination because I couldn't face the stigma of being a single parent. I cut all ties with him after that."

Boyd's eyes stared at the floor, "I'm sorry Grace."

Grace left his office and walked out of the building. She needed to get out for a while, and knew of only one person she could turn to. Charles Hoyle was an old friend, and one who had recently said if she ever wanted to talk, she should look him up. She was about to take him up on this offer.

She sat in his sitting room talking, his budgie flying freely around the room, as he called it by his name it suddenly struck her that it was the same name she had heard on the video footage. She made her excuses and left the room, heading down the hall into another room, where Kevin lay dazed and bleeding on a bed, she locked and barricaded the door. Charles was banging on it from the other side, suddenly Grace heard Boyd calling her name.

"Boyd I'm in here, with Kevin." She shouted back at him.

"Are you both okay?"

"Kevin looks in a bad way, but I'm fine."

Charles had a gun trained on Grace and Kevin, and Boyd was doing his best to draw his fire away from them, he eventually succeeded. Charles turned the gun hurriedly towards Boyd. He ducked down and snipers behind him shot and killed Charles Hoyle. They smashed down the door, and paramedics rushed into to take care of Kevin, whilst Boyd hurriedly rushed to Grace throwing his arms around her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"Yes I'm fine, just shaken up, and worried about Kevin."

"He'll be okay." One of the paramedics said to her.

She gave a large sigh, and remained in Boyd's embrace.

Boyd again took her home and spent the evening with her. They ate dinner together, and he spent most of the evening playing or cuddling Christopher, reading him a story before putting him to bed. He returned downstairs to Grace, and put on his coat to ready to leave.

"Thank you." She said as he walked him to the front door.

"For what?"

"For saving my life, tell me, what would have happened if he'd been quicker with the gun than you were at ducking?"

"I'd be dead I guess."

"So why did you do it?"

He put his hands on Grace's face and stared deep into her eyes, "I know I need to sort myself out, and things between us haven't been good, but you're the Mother of my son, and I love you. I will always love you, and I will lay my life down for you if I need to."

"So are you going to sort yourself out?"

"No comment." He replied, with a smile. "Goodnight Grace!"

"Goodnight Boyd."

TBC


	11. Yahrzeit

**Chapter 11 – Yahrzeit**

**Next Chapter, sorry for the delay, getting side-tracked, enjoy.**

Another year on and Grace and Boyd are still separated, although Boyd now has regular access to his son, who stays with him on the weekends. He is seemingly back on the straight and narrow, as far as life is concerned, but not back with Grace, they still flirt and toy with each other, but have never taken things back to where they were.

They have just finished working on the Yahrzeit case, and Boyd has spent much of that time flirting around Sarah Levin, she had been working on the case with them, and the two of them had seemed to hit it off during that time, she was now sat in his office, staring at the photos on his desk.

"Are they yours?" She asked, looking at the two separate pictures of young boys on his desk.

"Yeah, that's Luke, and this is Christopher."

"How old are they?"

"Luke is twenty three, and Christopher is just coming up for five."

"That's one hell of an age gap."

"Luke was from my first marriage and Christopher was a bit of a surprise when I was with someone else."

"So are you still with her?"

"No, we separated about a year and a half ago, but we're still friends." He couldn't help but glance over at Grace in her office as he said the words.

"Well I guess I should make a move or I'm going to miss my flight." Boyd stood and hugged her, "So are you going to come and visit me?"

"I have already booked my ticket, a week on Tuesday, I hope that's okay."

"It's better than okay, you call me and let me know your flight details and I'll meet you at the airport."

"You bet."

She was unable to hide the smile on her face as she walked out of his office, knocking on Grace's office door. "Hi Grace, I just wanted to say goodbye before I left, it's been a pleasure working with you." She said walking around to where Grace was sat at her desk, her eyes were immediately drawn to the same picture on Grace's desk as was on Boyd's, she picked it up. "Hey, did he give you all one of these."

"Sorry?" Grace said quizzically.

"A picture of Boyd's kid, the same as the one on his desk."

"I have it because Christopher is also my kid." She replied rather curtly.

"I'm so sorry, he never said."

"Why would he?"

"Anyway, I am just leaving so take care." Sarah replied, changing the subject quickly.

"Yes, you too, it's been a pleasure."

* * *

><p>A week and a bit later Boyd landed in New York to be met by Sarah at the airport, she had offered to put him up during his stay, but he booked into a hotel instead, the first thing she did, as promised was take him for a proper New York Deli sandwich, and they sat and ate it whilst looking out over the Hudson river. As they sat and talked, Sarah leant in and gently kissed him, he reciprocated and they began to kiss passionately. A couple of hours later were in bed in his hotel room.<p>

Boyd did some sightseeing whilst he was there, picking up a few presents for Christopher during his stay, and then surprisingly he returned earlier than usual, his first stop was to Grace's, he was dying to see his son and give him the presents he'd brought back for him, including a large New York fire truck with lights, sounds and a working ladder.

"So why are you back so early?" Grace asked him.

"I didn't want to miss Christopher's first day at school, so I came back."

"You cut short a holiday in New York to see Christopher on his first day at school?"

"Yeah, he's my son Grace; I don't want to miss the important days in his life."

"So why didn't you book a shorter holiday?"

"It wasn't a holiday it was a visit to see a friend, okay, now can we forget about it."

"So how was Sarah?"

"Sarah was fine. I have a few more days off so I was hoping to spend some time with Christopher before school starts."

"Okay, do you want to keep him over night?"

"Yeah, he can stay a few days; we'll go on some day trips."

"I'll get his stuff ready, I need to pick up his prescription later, for his inhalers, but I'll drop it round to yours."

"Okay, no problem."

Boyd took Christopher back to his house, where the two of them spent the afternoon playing in the garden, Christopher had taken his bike with him, and Boyd had put a trampoline in his back garden for him. By six o'clock Christopher was exhausted and hungry, and Boyd was making spaghetti Bolognese for dinner, whilst Christopher was watching TV.

He was in the kitchen when the doorbell rang; he opened the door to Grace.

"Hi, Christopher's inhalers." She said handing him a small paper bag.

"Thanks, you coming in?"

"No I'll leave you two to it."

"Come in for a while, I'm making dinner, there's enough for three."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, I'm making my famous spag bol."

Grace hung up her coat and popped her head around the door to the lounge to see Christopher fast asleep on the sofa.

"Looks like you've worn him out."

"Yeah he's been on the trampoline all afternoon, do you want a glass of wine?"

"Yeah thanks."

Grace stood in the kitchen watching him whilst he cooked.

"So how was New York?"

"Yeah it was good."

"Will you be going back?"

"Maybe, I don't know, I'd like to take Christopher, maybe when he's a bit bigger."

"I meant will you be going back to see Sarah."

"I know what you meant; I just don't really want to talk about it."

"So things didn't go as you expected them to."

"Grace! I just said I didn't want to talk about it."

"I know you did, but that doesn't stop me wanting to know."

He smiled at her, "No! Things didn't go as planned."

"Why? Does she snore?"

"No she doesn't snore."

"Which means that you did sleep with her?"

Boyd stopped what he was doing and looked at her, she looked sad and disappointed. She put her glass of wine on the table and left the kitchen, heading to the front door. As she reached for the front door she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"I should go."

"Stay for dinner, when we've eaten and put Christopher to bed we'll talk, I promise."

"It's none of my business."

"It will always be your business, please stay?" Grace nodded her head to indicate that she would stay.

After dinner, he put Christopher to bed and then returned to the lounge and sat next to her on the sofa, both of them still holding a glass of wine.

"So how have you been?" He asked with an awkward edge to his voice.

"I've been fine, how about you?"

"I'm okay, Grace have you...has there been anyone else, since us, I mean?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because Sarah said I was obviously still in love with you, she said she could see it in my eyes, the way I looked at you in work, that I talked about you all the time and I just wondered how you felt about us?"

"What happened with Sarah?"

"Things didn't work out; I won't be seeing her again."

"Why? You seemed really smitten when she was over here working."

"Thing's just weren't right between us."

"Did you sleep with her?" She asked her eyes unable to make contact with his.

He looked away from her, "Does that matter?"

"Yes it matters to me."

"Yes we slept together, just the once." Boyd raised his hand and stroked her face with the back of his hand. "I still love you." He said the words quietly.

"Who decided things weren't right between the two of you?"

"It was a mutual decision."

"Based on what."

"Why the inquisition Grace?"

"I need to know, you spent days flirting around Sarah, you fly to New York to see her, you sleep together, and now you decide that you're still in love with me, how is that supposed to make me feel?"

"I was hoping you would feel the same."

"I do, in fact I have always felt the same, I've never stopped loving you, and when I asked you to leave after Mel's death I was hoping you would fight for us, I thought Christopher and I would bring you to your senses, but it didn't, you gave up on us."

"I never gave up on you, I know I walked away too easy, I was just hurting, I couldn't cope when we lost Mel, I felt responsible for her death, but I never stopped loving you or Christopher."

"But you had to sleep with someone else to realise that, why didn't things work with Sarah?"

"Why is it so important to know what happened in New York?"

"Because if the only reason you want me back is because she rejected you, then we don't have a chance."

"Within a couple of hours of meeting me at the airport, we ended up in bed, and when I climaxed I whispered the words _I still love you Grace_ in her ear, she said I called out your name three times in total whilst we were having sex, which incidentally only happened once. She left my hotel room that day and we never saw each other again, I spent the next few days sight-seeing, and picking up some bits and pieces for you and Christopher, then I missed you both too much, so I came home."

As he finished the sentence he looked at her, and leant forward and kissed her, placing his glass on the table near to her side of the sofa, so he could put his hand on her waist. Grace responded softly to his kiss, it seemed like a lifetime ago that she'd felt the tenderness of his lips against hers, and it stirred something inside her that she couldn't ignore, as much as she wanted to. As his kisses became more impassioned, and his hand found its way underneath her top, Grace pulled away.

"What's wrong?" He asked her with a confused look on his face.

"I need to think about this, for me and for Christopher."

"What could be better for Christopher than having his parents back together?"

"And what happens the next time you can't deal with your emotions? The next time thing's become too much for you, I'm an adult Boyd I understand, but Christopher worships the ground you walk on, and he doesn't understand if he gets up one morning on you're not at home."

"We'll take things slowly, still live apart for now, come on Grace, you admitted yourself that you never wanted us to split up, aren't we worth another chance?"

"I just don't know what to say Boyd."

"Say yes." he replied and leant in for another tender kiss.

"Don't do this to me Boyd!"

"Don't do what?"

"This! Because I don't think I have what it takes to turn you down right at this moment."

"Then don't, come to bed with me." As he kissed her again, her resolve completely disappeared, and when he took her by the hand and led her upstairs she was putty in his hands. They made love slowly, passionately, it felt so good, so right, and like nothing else in the world mattered, just the two of them, and their beautiful son sleeping peacefully in his bedroom.

TBC


	12. Missing Persons

**Hope someone is still reading this and enjoying it.  
><strong>

**Chapter 12 – Missing Persons**

A direct carry on from the last chapter.

Grace lay awake, it was late, very late. Boyd was sleeping peacefully next to her, with one arm around her, and her head resting gently on his shoulder. She sighed, not sure if this was all a mistake, it felt comfortable, and there was a time when all she wanted was what she had right now. To be back in his arms, and him back to the man he was when they had first got together. But what if she was just leaving herself open to heartbreak again, and what of their son, he had been so confused when Boyd had left home. He was still too young to understand the complications involved in an adult relationship, and if things went sour between them again, how would he cope.

She gently pulled herself away from him, and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to locate her clothes without putting the light on and waking him up, she was doing okay, until she knocked his phone off the bedside table. She felt the bed move as he rolled onto his side.

"What you doing?" He asked whilst trying to stifle a yawn. He switched the bedside lamp on, and reached for the glass of water on the side.

"I'm getting dressed."

"Why?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for Christopher to find me still here when he wakes up."

"Grace it's 3am, come back to bed?" He sat up behind her and began to kiss her neck. "Don't leave, we'll tell Christopher it was late and you stayed over, he won't think anything of it, he's only four."

"He's Five in a couple of weeks, and he picks up on everything."

"But if we're getting back together it won't matter." He continued to kiss her neck and down her back.

"Nothings definite Boyd."

"We made love Grace, surely that's a good start." His hand wandered around her stomach and slowly worked it's way up finding her breast. He pulled her back on to the bed and started to kiss her, he eventually got her back into bed, where he made love to her again.

"Twice in one night at your age Boyd, what can I say?"

"I have a lot of catching up to do, we've spent too long apart."

"Well you've not exactly been celibate."

"Sarah was the only one, and that only happened once, and it wasn't memorable for either of us."

"Boyd you don't have to say that, we were apart, it's not exactly cheating."

"I'm saying it because it's true, it was just sex, and it only happened the once. What about you, have you been with anyone else?"

"No, there hasn't been anyone else, not in any sense of the word."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that, it's none of my business."

"It's okay. I've missed you." She replied looking deep into his eyes.

"I've missed you too, and I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For refusing to deal with Mel's death, for treating you badly, for walking away, and for Sarah."

"I love you, and all I wanted to do was love you and help you. I never wanted you to leave, I know how you felt after Mel died, I felt the same. I sat and cried, I attended the funeral, talked about her and dealt with my grief, you couldn't deal with it, and everything became so destructive."

His features saddened at the thought of the young woman he was so fond of, the memory of her body hitting his car and laying broken and lifeless on the ground, her beautiful features lost forever amidst the crumpled mess that lay on the concrete on that fateful day.

"What are you thinking about?"

He was about to say _nothing_, when he thought again, "I was thinking of Mel, I can't think of her any more without seeing the image of her body on that day, it's almost as if that's the only way I can remember her."

"I know, I think of it too, she was so young and beautiful, she deserved so much more."

"I let her down Grace."

"No you didn't, you're not to blame for what happened, a mentally unstable woman pushed her from the roof of a building, you were and are in no way responsible for that. I know you thought of her like a daughter, but she was a police officer, sadly the risks came with the job, just like when you were stabbed, and when Spence was shot."

"If she'd have been my daughter I'd have never let her join the police force."

"Would you have liked a daughter?"

"No! Too much trouble!"

"Oh and boys are trouble free are they?"

"A lot less trouble. Do you want to know what I would have liked?"

"What?"

"I'd liked to have met you about thirty years ago, so we could have had more kids together, I wish Christopher wasn't an only child, and I wish we'd been younger when we had him."

"Christopher's very happy, and he's not an only child really, not if we count Luke and Juliet, and regardless of age, you're a good Dad, you spend time with him, you take him out, you sit on the floor and play with his cars, you give him your time and your love, nothing is more important than that."

"Would you have liked more kids?"

"Only if I could have had them with you."

"Getting old is a bugger isn't it?"

"Oh I don't know, some thing's get better with age." She ran her hand down his stomach until it disappeared under the duvet.

"Behave yourself woman, two times in one night was pushing it, I haven't been three times in a very long time."

"You won't know if you don't try."

Boyd looked at her and then moved across kissing her. His hands skimming over her stomach, tickling her skin.

"Daddy? Daddy?" A voice called.

"Saved by the bell." She said to him.

"It's 5am."

"It's your house, I'm not really here, remember."

"I know, I know." He replied getting out of bed.

"Daddy?" The voice called out again.

"I'm coming." He replied.

"Almost." Grace replied to him with a smirk.

"Don't be immature, it doesn't suit you." He replied, unable to hide the smirk escaping his lips.

"Spoil sport!"

Boyd walked into his son's bedroom to see Christopher sat on the edge of his bed, a look of deep concern on his face.

"Hey what you doing out of bed? It's too early to get up."

"Someone is on my trampoline."

Boyd picked him up and walked to the window that over looked the back garden, "Where? There's no one out th..." Boyd stopped mid sentence as he noticed a light coming from the shed in the back garden.

"I saw someone Daddy."

"Yeah okay, Daddy will sort it out." He walked back to his bedroom carrying him, dropping him onto Grace who was still laying in his bed.

"What are you doing?" She asked him a little shocked.

"There's someone in the back garden, you keep hold of him I'll go and sort it."

"Peter wait, don't go out there, there could be more than one of them."

"I'll be fine, I'm a bloody police officer after all." Boyd rushed down the stairs, grabbing the baseball bat he kept in the hall on the way his back door as quickly as he could, he stepped uneasily into his back garden, the feint light still visible from within his shed. He crept up to the shed door and opened it quickly, the baseball bat in his hand held aloft and poised to strike the intruder should he need to. But the face that looked back at him was almost as shocked as he was, a once young man who looked a lot older than he should, his dark eyes the image of his fathers, neither of them spoke, and in a flash the young man was gone, running at Boyd and knocking him to the floor in his bid to escape.

Boyd got back to his feet, "No wait, please wait." But his shouts were to no avail, the young intruder was gone in a flash, and as he headed back into the house, Boyd wondered if perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him, could it really have been him, after all this time.

Boyd secured his shed and garden before returning to the house, Grace was by now in the kitchen waiting for him, still holding onto Christopher.

"You okay?" She asked him.

"Yeah everything's fine, he ran off. Go back to bed, I'll lock up and join you."

Grace did as he suggested, keeping Christopher with her in bed. As Boyd climbed into bed next to her, she rubbed his arm affectionately, noticing a distinct difference in his mood.

"You sure you're okay?" She asked him again.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why isn't he in his own bed?" He asked her, stroking Christopher's face as he spoke.

"My fault I'm afraid, I've let him get into bad habits since it's been just the two of us."

"Well I guess as bad habits go, it's not too bad." He lent forward and kissed her gently. "Get some sleep."

Grace woke a few hours later to find Christopher still asleep next to her and Boyd no where to be seen, she was wearing his shirt, which she'd grabbed hastily after he dumped Christopher on her in the early hours. She got out of bed gently, careful not to wake her son, he spent precious little time sleeping as it was, so waking him up when he was asleep was not a good idea. He also had his father's bad temper if he was woken up before he was ready.

Boyd was stood in the kitchen, a coffee mug in his hand, staring blankly out of the window that over looked his back garden. She walked up slowly and stood beside him.

"Are you okay?" He didn't speak, just nodded his head and smiled.

"Do you want a coffee?" He asked her.

"Mm please."

"Where's mini me?"

"Still fast asleep, thankfully."

"Was he okay, after last night, he said he saw him, I mean he said he saw someone on his trampoline."

"Yeah I don't think he thought any more of it, he was just worried about his trampoline, was it someone you knew?"

"What makes you ask that?"

"The look on your face when you came back in, it was more than just an intruder wasn't it?"

"I wasn't sure at first, he looked so different, I thought I was just imagining it, seeing what I wanted to see."

"Luke?"

"Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was him, his eyes, dark eyes just like Christopher's, he just looked so different, so much older and thinner."

"If he's been living rough, it will have taken it's toll on him."

"Yeah."

"Do you think he might come back?"

"I don't know what to think, why did he come here? After all this time, and why did he run off when he saw me?"

"I don't know, but he's been away a long time so whatever he wanted, it must have taken a lot for him to come back here. Maybe he was reaching out, maybe he needs your help, and last night was the first step, you said it was always easier to get your attention if he did something wrong."

"But why run if he needs my help. I have no idea where to find him Grace. I spent months trawling through the streets to try and find him when he first went missing, I don't know if I have the energy to do it all over again."

"If he needs you he'll come back, and if you want to find him, you'll find the energy."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Intuition."

He leant forward and was just about to kiss her, when they both looked up at the sound of small, yet strangely heavy footsteps running upstairs.

"It's awake." He said, with a hint of humour in his voice.

"I thought the peace and quiet was too good to last."

All of a sudden Christopher Boyd, aged four and three quarters ran into the kitchen, wearing his sponge-bob square-pants pyjamas and slippers and carrying his favourite soft dinosaur toy under his arm. From the moment he entered the room he started talking, hardly stopping for breath, he sat on a chair at the table, and then got down and got a different toy and came back again, rubbing his eyes and stretching as he did so. He took absolutely no notice of the fact that Grace had stayed over night, nor the fact that his parents had been sleeping in the same bed. He just wanted his milk and breakfast, and to make sure his trampoline was still where he left it, despite the fact that it was a 14 foot trampoline with a safety net, that couldn't be removed from the garden with out being dismantled first.

Christopher stayed with Boyd for the rest of the week, giving Grace a rest, although she did pop round to see them at some point everyday, and even stayed over a couple of times. Boyd took his son on various day trips, the zoo being Christopher's favourite. He also bought him everything he needed for school, Grace had already bought his new uniform, Boyd bought him a new bag and pencil case, and anything else he might need.

It was a Friday night, and Boyd had put his son to bed, and was in bed alone, Grace had been round for a while, but had decided to go home, making the most of her last night of Christopher free sleep. Boyd, as had been the case in the last few nights, was unable to sleep, the thought of Luke coming back still in the back of his mind. He'd spent the last few nights getting in and out of bed and looking in the back garden for any signs of his absent son. But so far had seen nothing, he was unable to shake the image from his mind, and the thought that maybe Luke needed his help was torturing him, he wanted to help him, wanted to see him, speak to him, and have him back in his life.

He'd spent years coming to terms with the fact that Luke was gone, maybe for good, and even thinking the unthinkable, that he could be dead. Seeing him was such a shock, he didn't have time to think or react, he'd stood and stared, and in an instant he was gone again, almost as though it was a dream. Now all he could do was hope that he would come back, hope that if Grace was right and he needed his fathers help, he would find the courage to come back, to come home.

He wasn't sure when, but at some point he must have drifted off to sleep, because he woke up sharply, a noise startling him, and, as always, he assumed that Christopher was out of bed. He got out of bed and headed to his young son's bedroom to find him still tucked up and fast asleep. It suddenly dawned on him that if Christopher hadn't made a noise, then someone else had, and, that someone else was inside the house. He headed to the stairs and descended as quickly and as quietly as he could. He could see a dim light in the kitchen, and from the angle of the light he could tell that whoever was in his kitchen had the fridge door open. Boyd hit the light switch in the kitchen, causing the intruder to drop what he was holding and head for the back door.

"No wait, please Luke don't go."

Luke stopped and turned slowly towards his father, he didn't speak, just stared at him.

"Please don't run off, talk to me son, please?"

Luke stared at his father, unsure of what to say, he was about to speak when a small, dark haired boy appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Daddy, who's that?" Christopher asked him.

"Daddy?" Luke eventually said.

Boyd bent down and picked Christopher up, "This is your big brother Luke, Luke this is Christopher, your little brother."

"You have another son?" He said in amazement.

"Yes, he was a bit of a surprise."

"With Mum?"

"No. Look we need to talk, I'll explain everything."

"Nothing to say really is there." Luke opened the back door and walked out, Boyd put Christopher down and went after him, catching up with him at the back gate, and grabbing his arm.

"It's not like that, Luke please stay, Christopher wasn't planned it just happened, he was never meant to replace you, come back inside, please."

"I have to go, there's somewhere I need to be." Luke shook off his father's hand and ran off, this time Boyd didn't chase after him, he knew it was pointless, Luke would never stay anywhere he didn't want to be. He went back into the house and locked up, before taking Christopher back to bed. Tucking him into his little bed, pulling his dinosaur duvet cover around him, and sitting with him until he was asleep.

As he got up from Christopher's bed and kissed him goodnight, he stood watching him sleep for a few minutes, remembering Luke at the same age, and how he longed for his father's attention, and how he failed him. Now he would give anything, **do** anything, just to have him back in his life, to be able to talk to him, and above all else, to know that he was safe.

He went back to his own bedroom, the loneliness of sleeping alone in a double bed doing nothing to improve his mood. He couldn't help but spend a few minutes looking out of the window, looking at every shadow to see if he could see him, but to no avail.

TBC


	13. Skin

**It seems ages since I updated this, heres the next chapter, hope you enjoy it, and as always your comments are greatly received.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13 - Skin<strong>

Christopher stood in front of the mirror looking in depth at his new school uniform, the dark grey trousers, white polo shirt and royal blue sweat shirt with the school badge on it were all new on. His school back pack and pencil case were all packed, but he was strangely quiet, most out of character, and Grace sensed he was nervous about his first day at school.

He'd just turned five, and it was a big jump from nursery to his first day of full time education, his day was no longer just about fun with a little routine thrown in for good measure, now it was about learning.

Boyd had asked to come with them on his first day, something Grace was happy to agree to.

"Have you got everything ready?" He asked his son, who simply nodded in response. "Have you eaten all your breakfast and drunk your milk."

"Yeah." He answered, now sitting on the sofa in the lounge.

Boyd sat next to him, "You okay?" He asked him.

"Will you come and get me if I don't like it?"

"You will like it."

"I might not."

"Why not?"

Christopher shrugged his shoulders.

"It'll be fun, you'll see, and you'll make new friends."

Just then Grace walked in, "Are you two ready to go?"

"Yep we're ready." He replied winking at Christopher.

"Have you got your inhaler in your bag?"

"Yes."

"Get Daddy to help you put your coat on, and then we'll go okay."

At the school gate, all three of them got out of the car, and walked into the school, they located his teacher, and he turned and kissed them goodbye, something most of the new kids did, whilst the slightly older ones wouldn't even hold their parents hands, Grace knew they had that to come, and she dreaded it.

They were in Boyd's car, and as they drove down the road, he saw Grace reach into her bag for a tissue; she tried to sniff quietly, desperately trying not to show how upset she was at leaving their son at school for his first full day. Boyd pulled off the main road and onto an industrial estate, parking up on a quiet road that only housed a couple of derelict factories.

He turned to her and put his arm across the back of her car seat, "Come here." He said pulling her towards him; she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling more than a little pathetic at crying over something so trivial. "He's growing up fast isn't he?"

"Too fast. It seems like only yesterday that we were sat at the hospital, when he had that chest infection, now he's starting school."

"He'll be okay you know."

"I know. I just worry about him, especially with him having asthma."

"I know, and it's okay to worry about him, I'd be more worried if you weren't crying on his first day at school."

Just then Boyd's mobile rang, "Boyd." He answered in his usual manner.

"Dad?" A quiet voice said.

"Luke is that you?"

"Dad, I need help, I've taken too much." His voice was distant and spaced out.

"Okay, where are you?" The line went dead. "Shit it's gone dead." He tried ringing him back but got no reply, so rang Stella in the office instead, he gave her Luke's mobile number and asked her to trace it and text him the location, he started driving as soon as the location came through, taking Grace with him.

They stopped at a large council estate with several big blocks of flats, in the middle was a paved area with some public seating, they both searched for Luke, but couldn't find him, Boyd was getting more and more wound up, he leant against a hand rail for a moment trying to think, and as he looked down he saw his son lying motionless in the stairwell. He immediately called an ambulance, whilst Grace tried to check Luke's vital signs.

"He's alive, he's just out of it." She said to him, seeing some of the stress that was etched onto his face lift as she said it.

"An ambulance is on its way."

The ambulance arrived quite quickly and rushed Luke to hospital, where he was treated for an overdose before being taken to a rehab unit. Boyd asked Grace to go with him and speak to the psychiatrist who was in charge of Luke's treatment.

Inside an office she explained to the two of them that Luke was going to be okay, for now, but that his addiction was inevitably going to end one way, unless he received help. She told them that Luke had visible scars from self-harm and that she believed that he had deeper issues that she may be able to help him with and that if he could deal with them; they may be able to help him kick the drugs. In order to do what she wanted, she needed one of his parents to sign a committal order, preventing him from leaving the unit. He really didn't want to do it, but he didn't want to lose his son again and if this was the only way to get him the help he needed then he knew he had to do it. So he begrudgingly signed the form.

Neither of them saw Luke, he was still out of it, and would be for a few hours. Boyd left his number and asked to be contacted when he was awake.

The journey back to the office was quiet, neither of them really knew what to say, Grace had asked him if he was okay, and he had said yes. She wanted to tell him that he'd done the right thing, but she didn't, he was stewing on it, going over and over it in his mind, waiting for the moment when Luke would again tell him how much he hated him. He parked the car in the car park but made no attempt to get out of the car, he just sat there.

"What have I done Grace?"

"What you needed to do, it was the right thing."

"So why doesn't it feel like it? Why does it feel like I'm betraying him all over again?"

"What was the alternative, not to sign the committal order and have him disappear again, to sit and wait for the next time he overdoses and hope that he has the ability to phone you or get help, you have to give him a chance and this is the only way to do that."

"And what do I do when he wakes up and wants to leave, when he realises that I have locked him up again."

"We'll deal with that when it happens. I think he wants help, that's why he came home, he wanted you to find him when he broke into the shed, and I'm only surprised he didn't come back again."

"He did."

"What? When?"

"Friday, he got into the house this time."

"When Christopher was staying with you?"

"Yes, he was in the kitchen, I managed to stop him from running off at first, but then Christopher got up, he asked me who Luke was, and when Luke heard him call me Daddy he reacted badly, he ran off again."

"What did you tell Christopher?"

"That it was his big brother; to be honest I'm surprised he never mentioned it to you."

"Why didn't you mention it to me?"

"I don't know, I felt..." He sighed, unable to find the words he wanted to say.

"What did you feel? The first time you've spoken to your son in years, how did it feel?"

"I was scared; I didn't want him to see Christopher."

"Why?"

"Because I was afraid he'd think I'd replaced him, moved on, and had a new family. I know it sounds stupid."

"No it doesn't, he's your son and you love him, it's not stupid not to want to lose him again."

"Lose him? I haven't got him; I don't know anything about him."

"You'll get him back Boyd, I really do think he wants your help."

"I hope you're right."

Grace placed her hand on his leg a rubbed it affectionately.

Work seemed to drag on, and they both had their minds elsewhere, Grace was constantly thinking of Christopher, whether he was okay at school, if he was happy and enjoying himself, whether he'd made any new friends.

Boyd was worrying about both his sons, Christopher's first day at school, and all that it brought with it, he was five years old with his life ahead of him, nothing to worry about except whether his shoes were on the right feet. The worry he had for his older son was completely different, he was in the grip of a selfish and destructive addiction that was threatening to take his life, he looked a lot older than he was, and god only knew how he'd been surviving the last few years, it was something that, as his father, he did not want to think about.

He knew full well that Luke would want to leave the unit as soon as he could, and would only hate him more if he didn't let him go. He was torn between his son's feelings and his own, should he let him go and risk losing him again, or keep him locked up and lose him forever, at least with the latter he would know he was alive.

Grace watched him from her office, she couldn't help but be worried about him, she knew how he wanted to have Luke back in his life, and she really hoped it would happen, for both their sakes, but Luke was a different person now to the boy he had once been, the man he had become was not something any father would want for his son.

She continued to watch him as he answered his mobile phone, the call didn't last long, and she guessed from the way he jumped up and headed into her office, what it had been about.

"He's awake, and he's asked to see me."

"Okay."

"Will you come with me?"

"If that's what you want."

"You don't seem too sure about it."

"I'm just worried about what Luke will think if you turn up with me."

"I need you with me Grace, I want and need to see him, but I don't think I can do it alone, I am frightened I'll say or do something wrong."

She stood up and approached him, placing her hand on his face, "It's okay, I'll come with you."

At the rehab unit they were both shown into a room where Luke was sat waiting to see his father, the psychiatrist they had spoken to earlier was also sat in the room.

Boyd walked nervously towards his son, unsure of himself and not knowing what to say, in the end he settled for the obvious.

"How are you?"

"Okay." He replied, his eyes darting between Boyd and Grace.

"I'm sorry, this is my partner Grace." He said sensing Luke was unsure of who she was and why she was there.

Luke nodded his head at Grace, acknowledging her in doing so.

"Hello, it's nice to finally meet you." Grace said to him.

"Is it?" He replied.

They all sat down, and the psychiatrist left them alone to talk. "Whatever you want Luke, I mean however you want to play this it's okay by me, I just want you back in my life."

"Okay with having a junkie for a son are you?"

"Yeah, I mean no..." He paused, carefully choosing his words. "What I mean is, I don't want to lose you again, so I will take you in any way I can, okay?"

"How old is your son?"

"My other son, I have two sons Luke, you and Christopher."

Grace rubbed his arm trying to reassure him, "Christopher is five."

"Is he yours? I mean are you his Mum?"

"Yes he's mine."

"So you've been together for quite a while."

"About six years, Christopher was a surprise for both of us."

Luke smiled at her words.

"So what happens now?" Boyd asked him.

Luke shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, what do you want to happen?"

"What I want isn't important, it's what you want that matters."

"I don't know what I want."

"Why did you come to the house?"

"I don't know, curiosity maybe. Just to see if you still lived there."

"So why run off when you saw me?"

"I can't deal with all these questions, I need to go." Luke got up and headed to the door of the room they were in, and then out to the outer door.

"Luke wait, please son don't walk out." Boyd dreaded him trying to open the locked outer door, "I'm sorry, please don't go." But Luke pulled the door to leave, and discovered it was locked.

"Why is this door locked?" At this point the psychiatrist approached Luke.

"Luke why don't we sit down and talk about this?"

"Why is the door locked?" He rattled the door to try and open it.

"Because this is a secure unit."

"What? You can't keep me in here, you would need..."

"My consent." Boyd said the words before Luke worked it out for himself.

"No no no no no, you can't do this, you can't lock me up Dad, not again, you can't do this to me again."

"No, I know son, I know I can't" Boyd's voice was emotional almost to the point of tears, "Please don't lose touch again, please?"

Luke nodded his head to his father.

"I'll arrange the paperwork so you can leave." The psychiatrist said.

Luke left the building, and went his own way as Boyd stood and watched, helpless, tears trickling down his face slowly. Grace took hold of his hand and gently pulled him towards his car, taking the keys from him and driving them both back to his place. He was devastated, and felt that he'd lost him all over again.

"He'll be in touch Boyd, he knows you're here for him, he has your mobile number, we can get him help when he wants it, but he has to want it, otherwise it's pointless."

"I know." He put his arms around her waist and held onto her, he didn't cry or speak; he just stayed in her arms as she held him back.


	14. Wounds

**Chapter 14 – Wounds**

Boyd held onto Christopher's hand as they walked into the park, he had a football in a carrier bag that he was holding onto. It was almost a rite of passage, going to the park to play football with his Dad. Boyd had done it with Luke, now it was Christopher's turn. What Boyd the younger didn't know, was that his Dad had also asked Luke to meet them.

Boyd could see a lonely figure sat on a bench, his heart skipped a beat as he saw him, he'd half expected him not to turn up, but he was here, waiting for them. He hadn't seen him since he'd left the rehab unit, but he'd spoken to him on the phone a couple of times, Luke never said much, but he obviously listened, because he was here.

As they approached the bench, Christopher kept a tight grip on his father's hand. "Hi." Boyd said quietly.

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Good, this is Christopher." He said sitting down on the bench and lifting Christopher onto his lap.

"Hello." Luke replied.

"Are you my brother?" Christopher asked him.

"Um, yeah I guess I am." Luke replied, a little amused by his brothers question.

"This is Luke, do you remember?"

Christopher nodded his head, "can we play football now Daddy?"

"Yeah, we can play football now." Boyd said to him.

Christopher Boyd was full of energy, running around kicking the football, Luke, however, could barely break into a fast walk without becoming breathless, it saddened Boyd to see him this way, to think he was once an active and fit young boy who could run rings around his father, now the effects of years of drug abuse on his body was plain to see, he tired easily and frequently bent over with a stitch.

Boyd was in goal as his sons kicked the ball around, and nothing pleased him more than when Christopher scored a goal and Luke picked him up and hugged him. They only stayed about half an hour, and it was enough for all of them, Christopher needed his inhaler, and the other two were just unfit. Before they went their separate ways, Boyd managed to get a picture of his two sons together, on his phone.

"Stay in touch, please?" He said to Luke before he left.

Luke wasn't big on shows of affection, in that respect he was definitely his father's son, he just nodded his head in agreement, rubbing Christopher's hair before he left and telling him he'd see him soon.

On the way back home Boyd stopped and brought them breakfast, grabbing a newspaper at the same time and coffee for Grace who had stayed over the night before. Boyd wouldn't stay away from home over night in case Luke needed him and tried to find him. So if they wanted to spend the night together, it was Grace who always stayed over at his. He had left her in bed this morning whilst taking their son to the park, giving her a well-deserved and much needed lay in.

He opened the door to his bedroom to see her still tucked up in bed, but wide awake.

"Are you getting up at all today?"

"I might do, I haven't decided yet." She replied smiling at him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

He tugged the duvet away from her a little and looked underneath it before bending forward and kissing her. "You're wearing my favourite outfit." He said looking at her naked body, he slid his hand beneath the covers and gently began to touch her.

"Stop it!" She said unconvincingly.

"Why?" He whispered.

"For one your hands are bloody freezing, and two, mini me is downstairs, and you know what he's like for wandering in at inappropriate moments."

"Yes I do know, I remember the last time he walked in at an inappropriate moment, I also remember how long it took me to explain why you were kneeling in front of me in the kitchen."

"It was your fault that we were in that situation in the kitchen, as I remember, so it was entirely down to you to get us out of it."

"Oh it was just my fault was it? You had nothing to do with it?" He replied whilst his hand gently snaked its way up her inner thigh.

"Well obviously I was there, but it was your suggestion that got us into that situation, as I recall you practically begged."

"Oh really." His hand reached the top of her inner thigh just as the door to the bedroom was opened, Grace was quick to grab hold of his wrist and stop his hand. "What do you want?" He asked his son.

"I wanted to tell Mummy about Luke."

"Well let's go downstairs and let Mummy get dressed first, okay." He replied ushering him out of the door.

They spent the rest of the day together, before Grace took Christopher home. She was keen for Boyd to move back in with her, but he couldn't at the moment. He needed to stay where he was for Luke, and she understood that, so for the moment they continued to live apart.

The following day they returned to work, a body had been found in a disused tunnel that had been built by road protesters some years before. Grace was researching the possibility of connection to Native American burial rituals, whilst Boyd, Spence and Stella were all out of the office, locating and questioning friends and family of the victim that they had now identified as Chris Dearden, an air conditioning salesman who went missing in 1996, leaving his wife and son behind.

Grace looked up from her computer as Eve walked into her office.

"Grace, um, I need to speak to you."

"Oh dear, what have I done?" She replied a touch of humour to her voice.

Eve smiled nervously back at her, "Boyd's phone has been diverted to the lab, so I've been answering all the incoming calls."

"Oops, sorry I'll get him to change it as soon as I can."

"No it's not that, I mean it's not a problem. What I'm trying to say is that someone has been trying desperately to get hold of Boyd, but his land line diverts to the lab and his mobile goes straight to answer phone."

"Do you want me to take a message?"

"It's his son Grace."

"What Luke?"

"Yes Luke, he was found dead this morning from a suspected drugs overdose. Someone called an ambulance for him, but it was too late. I'm so sorry." Grace sat in stunned silence; she knew Boyd would be devastated. "Do you want me to tell him?" Eve asked her.

"No, thank you Eve, I'll tell him." Eve left Grace alone again, and she waited with baited breath for him to return to the office. It was a couple of hours later when he eventually returned, she waited for him to hang up his coat and sit at his desk before she went to his office.

She opened the door gently and closed it behind her.

"Hi Grace, everything okay?"

She took a deep breath before speaking, "No it isn't, the police have been trying to get hold of you, but your mobile was switched off, and your land line was diverting to the lab, it's about Luke."

He interrupted her before she could continue, "What about Luke?" She could already see the fear in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Peter, but they found him dead this morning, he was found in a disused school."

"Was it an overdose?"

"Yes." She walked over to him and attempted to put her arms around him, to comfort him, but he walked away from her.

"I'm okay Grace, I mean if we're being honest I'm sure we both knew it would end this way."

"He's your son Peter." But before she could continue he walked out of his office and away from her.


	15. Pieta

**Chapter 15 – Pieta**

Boyd sat on the sofa in Grace's house staring into space, as she looked at him she was reminded of another occasion when he sat blankly, unspeaking, unmoving, and unable to cry or shout or show his emotions, the time, obviously, was when they had lost Mel. Now he had lost his son, and no matter what he says, no matter how much he pretends it's not affecting him, it is, he's devastated.

It was the cruellest of ironies that he should lose him now, after finding him again. That glimmer of hope had been tantalisingly waved in front of him like a carrot on a stick, and then snatched away again. So once again he was left with nothing, nothing but memories and heartache.

She walked over and handed him a glass of wine, she didn't know what to say or do, because there was nothing she could say or do, nothing could take away that pain. The only thing she could do was be there for him when he needed her, to hold him when he wanted her to, but right now, he was doing what he always did when he was hurting, bottling it up.

Christopher sat on the floor playing with his toy cars, just as he always did. "Do you want to be this one Daddy?" He asked him holding up a small yellow car.

Boyd smiled at him, "Not tonight mate."

"Are you poorly Daddy?"

"Yeah I'm poorly."

Without saying a word Christopher walked over and sat on his lap, putting his arms around him and hugging him. Boyd held onto him tightly.

"I love you Daddy." He said, completely unprompted.

"I love you too." He replied, the emotion in his voice now clearly evident.

Grace managed to convince him to stay overnight with her, she didn't want him going home alone, he needed the love and support of his family, and now, that was her and Christopher. She had no idea where his ex-wife was, but the police had said they would inform her, Boyd had no desire to break the news to her that their son was dead.

Once in bed she managed to put her arms around him without him recoiling in horror. "Talk to me Peter, please?"

"I don't know what to say, my son's dead, what is there to say about it."

"You're hurting, understandably so, I can see it, even Christopher can see it, please just let me in, let me help you, I love you and I don't want to see you have to go through this alone."

"I can't Grace, I just can't, I don't want to drag you down with me, and you know as well as I do that that's what will happen."

"You're my partner, whatever you're going through we will go through together, I want you to move back in here with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea, we split up because I couldn't deal with Mel's death, do you think it will be any easier to come to terms with the death of my...of my son." As he said the last words he broke down in her arms, "Why now Grace? Why did it happen now? I'd just found him again." As he sobbed in her arms she couldn't help but shed silent tears with him, she held him for what seemed like hours, until he drifted off to sleep.

Despite the advice of those around him, and the offer of time off, he continued to work, he ignored the constant requests from the mortuary for him to claim Luke's body, and once again he became distant and quiet. He wouldn't talk about it to anyone, not even Grace, no matter how much she tried to get him to open up. He had cried the first night, but since then he'd clammed up again.

As he sat in his office, she again decided to broach the subject of Luke's body and the funeral arrangements.

"Grace." He said, acknowledging her as she walked in.

"We need to talk Peter."

"Do we?" He replied with a smile.

"Yes, we need to talk about why you won't claim Luke's body, and we also need to talk about funeral arrangements."

He sighed heavily and rubbed his hand through his hair.

"You need to claim his body Peter."

"I know." He replied almost inaudibly.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, thank you, but I'll do it by myself."

"When?"

"What?"

"When will you do it, it's been five days Peter, you need to sort it. You also need to arrange the funeral."

"Believe it or not I am actually aware of the fact that I need to arrange my son's funeral, but thank you for the reminder."

He got up from his desk and walked past her, grabbing his coat on the way.

"Peter wait, don't just walk out."

"I thought you wanted me to claim him, I'm doing what you want Grace."

"It isn't about what I want, it's about what needs to be done, you can't just ignore it and hope it goes away."

"What you think I can ignore the fact that my son is dead?"

"That isn't what I said."

"Really, because that's what it sounded like."

"Okay, well it's obvious that you would rather pick a fight than talk about what's important, so I'll leave you too it." Grace turned around and walked out of his office.

"Yeah I think you should."

Boyd walked out of the offices and drove his car to the mortuary, he got as far as putting his hand on the door handle before turning and walking away. He didn't get back in his car; he walked away, heading through the streets towards the river. He knew she was right, he had to claim Luke's body, but to do that would make it real, to see him would make it so devastatingly real, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that. He walked around for a couple of hours before heading back to the mortuary.

This time he managed to get through the doors.

"Hi, I um, I need to claim a body." He said to the woman on the reception, he provided her with all the relevant identification and information she asked for and she then walked him through to another area, and left him with one of the mortuary assistants. He was asked to wait whilst the body was brought out to him.

A lump formed in his throat the moment he saw the trolley with the covered body upon it.

"Did you know him?" The mortuary assistant asked him.

"He's my son." He replied, and as the cover was pulled back he could no longer stop the tears from falling. He leant forward and cradled Luke's head in his arms, holding him like he wished he'd done when he was alive, thinking of all the things he wished he'd said to him, hoping that he knew how much he loved him. "I love you son." He whispered into his ear before letting go of him.

After leaving the mortuary he went back to his home, he knew he needed to arrange the funeral, but he'd had enough for today, he would tackle that mountain tomorrow. It was a couple of hours later when Grace turned up on the doorstep looking for him.

"Where's Christopher?" He asked.

"He's playing at a friend's house for the evening, why didn't you come home?"

"I am home."

"Why didn't you come back to our home?"

"I just wanted to be alone."

"Do you think that's wise? Wouldn't you be better off in the company of the people that love you?"

"I don't know, all I seem to do is alienate those people."

"You will never alienate me; I love you too much for that."

"I went to the mortuary Grace, I saw him."

"I see." She sat beside him on the sofa and rubbed her hand up and down his back. "You okay?"

"No, I'm not sure I'll ever feel okay again." He turned towards her and buried his face into the crook of her neck, his hands found her waist and held her tightly, she in return kept one hand on his back, the other against the back of his head, holding him as tightly as she could. She spoke soothing words into his ear, telling him she loved him, that she was there for him and always would be.

As he moved his head from her shoulder, he immediately pressed his lips to hers, a hurried and hungry kiss, one of his hands wandering under her top, whilst the other undid his belt buckle and trousers.

Grace returned his kissed, her hands undoing the buttons on his shirt and pushing it from his shoulders, within minutes he had pushed her back onto the sofa and was laying on top of her, his arousal pressing hard against her stomach, his hands roughly kneading her breasts, his lips still glued to hers. The foreplay was almost non-existent, he simply thrust hard into her as soon as he was ready, they were both still partially clothed and his actions showed no consideration for his partner. The sex was hurried and one sided, and after a few thrusts, grunts and groans he came, again not thinking of her, just his own needs. He withdrew from her almost immediately.

He lifted himself off of her and took her face in his hands, "I'm sorry." The words were whispered, as if he was almost ashamed of himself.

"It doesn't matter." She replied, pulling his face against her shoulder and holding him. They remained in each other's arms on the sofa for a while, still half dressed. After a while he pulled away from her slightly, his eyes watery and red. He put his hand against hers and laced their fingers together.

"I want us to try for a baby Grace."

"What?"

"I want us to..."

"Yeah I did actually hear the words; I just wanted to make sure I understood them."

"So what's the problem?"

"Um just one or two things, starting with my age."

"It happened before."

"It was five years ago Boyd, it's no longer possible."

"You won't know if you don't try."

"I think you're missing the point, we don't use contraception, if it was going to happen it would have happened, I haven't had a period since before Christopher was born."

"Okay so maybe it's not possible naturally, but there are ways around it, fertility treatments, surrogacy, adoption."

"All of which we are too old for."

"Only in this country, we can go abroad and get treatment, there are women on the news all the time having babies in their sixties, and you're in your early fifties."

"I'm too old Peter, and I don't just mean physically."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I'm sorry but I don't want another baby, I thought I was too old when we had Christopher and that was five years ago."

"But you weren't too old, we have a healthy and happy son, there is no reason why we couldn't have another."

Grace pulled away from him and sat up on the edge of the sofa, dressing herself. "I understand where this is coming from I really do, but it's not going to happen."

"What do you mean by that, where I'm coming from?"

"You've just lost your son, you're grieving, but having a baby won't bring him back, it won't stop it hurting."

"You think I want to replace Luke?"

"No, I think you want to stop it from hurting, and for a moment the idea of having a baby seems like a good one, but it isn't, it will still hurt."

"It isn't about Luke."

"So what is it about?"

"Christopher, okay it's about Christopher, I don't ever want him to be alone, when we're gone he'll be left alone and I don't want that." The end of the sentence was mingled with tears.

"He won't be alone, he'll meet someone, get married and be happy, he's your son, and he'll never be alone."

"But what if he is? What if he has to bury us all alone? Arrange everything on his own Grace."

"He still has an older sister, I know we're estranged at the moment, but it doesn't mean it will always be that way."

"I'm sorry." He said again, as he covered his face with his hands to try and cover up the fact that he was crying.

"It's okay." She again pulled him against her and held him as he cried. "Come back to ours with me? We can pick up Christopher on the way." He nodded his head in agreement.

He allowed Grace to accompany him to the funeral director's the following day; the fact that he accepted her help was a significant step forward for him. It was something he had put off doing for as long as possible, but he couldn't put it off any longer. Luke's mother lived in Spain, and she had now been in touch with him to let him know that she would return for the funeral, but was more than happy for him to make all the arrangements. So here he was, looking at coffins and discussing details for laying his son to rest, what should he be dressed in, what music they should play, would he like hymns. Truth was, he had no idea what Luke would have wanted, what music he liked, what clothes he wore, he knew nothing about him.

Every time he'd seen him, the last few times that he had seen him, he'd worn jeans and a hooded top, so Grace suggested they went shopping and buy something new for him. As a youngster he had been an Arsenal football fan, so they purchased an Arsenal shirt, some jeans and a dark hooded top, it felt strange buying clothes for someone who would never get to see them, never wear them out, but spend the rest of eternity in them. They both felt he would have liked the choices they had made. They put an announcement in the local paper, and also put up some flyers in the homeless shelters, in the hope that it would be seen by those who knew him best, and that they would come to pay their last respects.

The day of the funeral came around really quickly; they had been contacted by some of Luke's friends. The friends who shared the same lifestyle as he had, homeless addicts who had nothing and no one, except each other and a habit that slowly destroyed them.

The coffin was to start its journey to the church from Boyd's home, and the first to arrive was his ex-wife Mary, they'd had very little contact since they had separated, he didn't even know she was living abroad until the police had traced her. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, and introduced her to Grace; she in return introduced him to her partner Andrew. Neither of them had a clue about the others life since they had divorced, he didn't know she had a partner, although he always said she was the type of woman who wouldn't be without a man on her arm, and she was not aware that he had a partner or another child.

Christopher was at school, they had both decided it was not in the interest of a five year old boy to attend a funeral.

As the funeral cars arrived all of the mourners filed outside, leaving Boyd and Mary alone for a few minutes.

Mary stood looking out of the window of what was once her marital home, the hearse parked in the road outside contained the body of her son, and she hadn't accepted it until now. "It's against the laws of nature isn't it, burying your children, they're supposed to bury us, to mourn us."

Boyd stood by her side, he put his hand on her face. "You were a good Mum Mary."

"Was I? Why did he run away then?"

"Luke was a troubled boy; we both know that, I don't think anyone could have saved him from this." He said the words to her, but didn't really believe them, if Luke was a troubled boy, it was a result of his parents troubled marriage and troubled lives. A father that was never home, a mother who made no secret of the fact that she'd had several affairs, it wasn't a home, it was simply somewhere to sleep. Never a meal on the table, or a clean shirt ironed for school, Luke learned from an early age that you take what you want in life, because if you wait for it, it will probably never arrive.

Boyd put his arms around Mary and held her; it was the briefest moment of affection between them, a moment when they forgot all of the arguing and blaming, a moment where the only thing that mattered was the last remaining link between them, Luke.

They left the house together, no sign of the affection or tenderness that they had shown just moments before. They both climbed into the front funeral car, where their respective partners sat waiting for them.

There was no wake after the funeral; everyone simply went their own way. A lot of his friends were meeting at a local pub, but the family just dispersed. Grace had asked Mary and her partner to come back with them, but she declined, saying her goodbyes at the graveside. Boyd stood by the graveside long after everyone else had left, Grace stood by his side her hand in his, waiting until he was ready to leave.

When he eventually did leave it was to return to Grace's house, not his, it was again her suggestion, he was going to go home alone, but she talked him out of it. He spent the evening in silence, but Grace knew he needed time to grieve, so she left him alone.

She woke up to a noise at around 3am, the bed next to her was still empty, so she went downstairs to check on him, but he was gone, the noise that woke her up must have been the front door closing, his car was already gone. Walking into the kitchen she saw an envelope propped up against the kettle with her name on it. It instantly filled her with dread; she ripped it open and began to read it.

_My Darling Grace,_

_ I find it hard to write this letter, because writing it means that I am leaving you alone again, alone to raise our son. I am in a bad place right now, and staying would only put a strain on my relationship with both you and Christopher, and I can't do that to you or him, I love you both too much for that._

_ I don't know when I will be back, the only thing I know for sure is that I will be back, and I hope and pray that when that time comes around you will still want me. Please tell Christopher that I love him, and I will be back as soon as I can._

_All my love._

_Peter xx_

As she finished reading the letter she screwed it up and threw it on the side, all she could feel at that moment was anger, she loved him and wanted to help him, but again he chose to run and hide rather than deal with his emotions.


	16. Magdalene 26

**Chapter 16 – Magdalene 26**

3 Months later. Please note Stella does not die in this fic.

Grace sat on the edge of her sofa, gently stroking Christopher's face until he dozed off to sleep. He looked exhausted, so she'd made him up a bed on the sofa rather than put him in his room. It was his first day out of hospital since having a major asthma attack, he was on steroids to help with his asthma, but he was weak and frail.

Boyd was still away, she hadn't heard from him since he'd walked out after Luke's funeral, so she'd dealt with Christopher's health problems alone, sleeping in his hospital room whilst he recovered. Spencer and Frankie had been fantastic, visiting him in hospital and staying with him whilst she went home to shower and change, but the rest of the time she never left his side. Boyd's mobile phone remained switched off, and sat in his desk drawer at work. They had no idea where he was or how to contact him. A standing order went into Grace's bank account every month for Christopher's maintenance, but that had been in place since they split up originally.

Christopher was curled up on the sofa, a cuddly toy under his arm, sleeping peacefully, he'd constantly asked for Daddy over the last three months, and she'd tried to be honest with him, telling him Daddy had gone away and would be back soon, it was all she could say. As she watched him sleep she yawned herself, rubbing her eyes. Christopher had spent two weeks in hospital, and she had to admit she was exhausted, but even when she tried, she'd been unable to sleep in the hospital, she was too worried about her son to sleep.

She knew if she sat down she would fall asleep, so decided to tidy the kitchen up instead, something she'd neglected to do whilst he was in hospital. She hadn't really cooked over the last couple of weeks, it was usually a sandwich or a snack and a coffee, rather than a meal, and she usually left the dishes so she could get back to him. So she had a sink full of dirty cups and cutlery waiting to be washed up, she was half way through when the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it, hoping it wouldn't wake Christopher.

She opened the door to see Boyd standing before her, she was speechless, and just stood staring at him waiting for him to speak.

"Grace." Was all he said, his voice quiet and sheepish. He stood and waited to be invited in to his former home.

"Boyd?" Was all she could manage in response, she had always known he would return, just as his letter said he would, but it had been so long since he'd left that she'd stopped waiting for him and just got on with her life. "You'd better come in?"

"Thank you." His voice sounded nervous and unassuming, not the usual cocky and arrogant person she was used to.

As he walked into the house his eyes were instantly drawn to Christopher tucked up asleep on the sofa, the fact that it was the middle of the day made it obvious that something was wrong.

"What's wrong with him?" He asked pointing at him.

"He's had a bad chest." She replied, leaving out the details for now.

"Is he okay?"

"He's had a bad chest, as I said, can you keep your voice down, I don't want to wake him up." She replied walking through to the kitchen.

Boyd gazed lovingly at his son for a moment before following Grace through to the kitchen; he knew he had a lot of making up to do to both of them.

"How have you been Grace?" He said softly.

"Fine! You?"

"I'm doing okay."

"Well if that's it I must get on, I need to make dinner."

"I know I hurt you Grace, when I left, but I needed to go, it was the only way I could get through it without hurting you or Christopher."

"You don't get it do you?"

"What?"

"You leaving hurt us, Christopher has asked for you every day since you left."

He walked over to where she was stood and placed his hand on her face, "I'm sorry, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you both."

"Well it's a pity it wasn't enough to bring you home."

"It was, what do you think I'm doing here now."

"It's too late Boyd, we're getting by fine without you, and I'd rather you left before he wakes up, I don't want you back in his life."

"He's my son Grace; I'm not going to just give up on him."

"Really! I thought you already had."

"That's not fair; you know my leaving had nothing to do with you or him."

"Fair! Don't talk to me about bloody fair, you walked out Boyd, not us, you!"

"And you know damn well why, I needed to get over Luke's death."

"So whilst you get over the death of Luke, I have to tell your other son, every day, that I don't know where Daddy is, that I don't know when he'll be back. What should I have told him when he asked me if Daddy doesn't love us any more, or if Daddy left because he was naughty?"

"I would have hurt him more if I'd been here."

"No you wouldn't, because all he wanted was to see you, to hear your voice, even if you had just phoned or told us where you were, but you left in the night like a bloody criminal."

"Because I knew that if I'd told you what I was going to do you would have talked me out of it."

"Maybe I would have been right to talk you out of it, maybe all I wanted to do was love you, look after you, and help you."

"I know you just wanted to help me through it, but I needed to get through it on my own, I couldn't talk about it, and that's what you wanted me to do."

"I didn't care how you got through it, I just wanted you here, I love...loved you, and I wanted to be there for you."

"I love you, and that's the reason I had to go, you know that."

"And you couldn't tell anyone where you were, or make yourself available by telephone."

"I just needed solitude."

"Well I hope you got used to it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means we're finished Boyd, I don't want you back in mine or Christopher's lives."

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly, it's over."

"But even if we're over, you can't stop me seeing my son."

"Your son has spent the last two weeks in hospital after suffering a severe asthma attack, and I couldn't even contact you by phone to let you know. He kept asking why Daddy didn't come and see him, what was I supposed to say Boyd, when our six year old son asked me where Daddy was when he was laying hooked up to machines in a hospital."

Boyd's face dropped, "Oh god Grace, I'm so sorry, I didn't think."

"No Boyd, you never think, all that matters to Peter Boyd is Peter Boyd."

"That's not true and you know it, I'd lost my son."

"Yes, and two weeks ago you nearly lost another one."

"I wasn't thinking straight, I just wanted to grieve alone."

"Mummy, Mummy?" A voice from the other room cried.

"Oh great." she said as she moved towards the other room, he went to follow her but she put her hand against his chest and stopped him. "No Peter, I meant what I said; I'm not going to let you break his heart again."

"Oh and keeping me from seeing him is in his best interest is it?"

"Yes it is."

"Bollocks, you're not going to stop me seeing my son." He pushed past her and went to where Christopher lay on the sofa. "Hey mate."

"Daddy!" Christopher's face lit up when he saw him. "You're back."

"Yeah I'm back." Boyd picked him up and held him tight as Grace looked on from the kitchen doorway, she wanted to be strong and throw him out, but Christopher idolised him, and keeping them apart would only hurt them both.

Grace let him sit with his son, she felt bitter and angry at the way Boyd had acted, but she knew she had to think of her son. She looked through the doorway a while later to see Christopher sat on Boyd's lap, his hands gripping onto him, whilst Boyd's arms held on tightly to his son, both of them fast asleep, it was how it was meant to be, but it kept going wrong.

She made herself a coffee and sat at the kitchen table, leaving them asleep. No matter what she thought of Boyd, Christopher needed to rest, and right now he was sleeping peacefully. She never heard Boyd move, so she jumped when he suddenly spoke from the kitchen doorway.

"You look tired." He said to her.

"Yeah well, two weeks sleeping on a camp bed will do that to you, especially at my age."

"You've been staying at the hospital with him."

"Well we couldn't both desert him."

"What can I do to make this right again?"

"Nothing will make this right again, you can see Christopher whenever you want, because it's what's best for him, but we're finished Boyd."

He walked over to the table where she was sat and stooped down beside her, he put his hand over hers, "you once said I could never alienate you." Before he could finish the sentence she pulled her hand away and got up from the table, moving to put her empty cup in the sink. As she turned around again he was directly behind her, he placed his hands on her waist. "I've missed you." He gazed into her eyes as he said the words, and then moved his face closer to hers, his nose brushing against hers.

"I think you should leave now." She said unconvincingly.

"If you really want me to leave, then I will, but you need to convince me it's what you want." He brushed his lips gently over hers as he finished the sentence.

"Why do you always do this to me?"

"What?"

"Make me hate you and want you all at the same time."

"Because I love you, and you love me, we need each other Grace and I'll do anything you want to make this work."

"I am too tired to make decisions about the future right now, I would be letting my heart make decisions that my head should be making."

"Isn't that the way it should be?"

"No, because I don't want to be hurt again, and every time you walk away from us it breaks my heart."

"I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, but it won't happen again, the demons are all gone."

"Until the next time you can't cope, what happens then?"

"I will never walk away from you again, and if I need to fight for us then I will, with all my heart." He again looked deep into her eyes, they were glazed with tears and doubts, he pulled her into his arms and held her as she rested her head against his shoulder, and put her arms around his waist. If only he knew how much she'd longed for him to do this over the last two weeks, it had been the longest and loneliest two weeks of her life, and more than anything she had wanted him to just hold her. "Why don't you go and sit down, relax for a while, Christopher's still asleep and I can make dinner."

"You might find that a bit tough, I haven't done any shopping for two weeks."

"Okay so I'll go shopping or we'll order a take away, it doesn't matter, but you look on the verge of collapse."

She nodded her head in response to his suggestion and went into the lounge and sat down. Almost as soon as she sat down her eyes closed, just the knowledge of knowing he was there if Christopher was ill put her mind at ease and enabled her to sleep for a while.

Whilst Grace continued to sleep Christopher woke up, he found his Dad sat on the end of the sofa where he had been sleeping and climbed onto his lap.

"I'm hungry Daddy."

"What do you want to eat then?" He shrugged his shoulders in response. "What would Mummy make for you?"

"Soup."

"Do you want soup?" This time he nodded his head. "Well in that case I will go and see what we have in the cupboard." He walked to the kitchen carrying Christopher with him, he held him in front of the cupboard so that he could see what they had, eventually deciding on tomato soup, which Boyd heated for him, he then sat him on his lap whilst he ate it.

"Why did you go away?" He asked him.

"Well, I needed to think for a while."

"Why can't you do that here?"

"I needed to think when I was on my own."

"Because I make too much noise?"

"No, it wasn't about you mate, I love you, I just needed some time on my own."

"Do you love Mummy?"

"Yes, I love you both, okay?" He replied squeezing him around the middle reassuringly and kissing his cheek.

"Are you going to stay now?"

"What's with all the questions?" He replied, unsure how to answer that question.

"What are you two up to?" Grace asked walking into the kitchen.

"He woke up and said he was hungry, so I found him some soup in the cupboard."

"Okay, thanks."

"It's not a problem, I'll go out tomorrow and get some shopping, we can order something in tonight."

"It's okay, I can take care of it, you don't need to stay."

"Maybe you should take some of your own advice and accept help when it's offered."

"I want Daddy to stay." Christopher piped up, and Grace glared at Boyd.

"Have you finished?" She asked her son, and he nodded his head. "Well go back in the other room I'll bring your medicine in."

"I want to stay with Daddy."

"Do what Mummy says okay." He said to him, lifting him off his lap and putting him on the floor.

Grace waited till Christopher was out of earshot before she spoke, "That's what I was trying to avoid."

"He's my son, and no matter what happens between us, he will always be my son, I am never going to walk away from him."

"Could have fooled me."

Boyd stood up from his seat and put Christopher's empty soup dish in the sink, as he turned around he grabbed both of Grace's hands and held them by her sides, before pressing his lips against hers, she resisted for about ten seconds before responding with feeling and passion, he kept hold of her hands, sure she was going to slap him as soon as he let go, but she twisted them free, and moved them up to his neck, one of her hands running through his hair as they continued the heated embrace.

He eventually pulled away, resting his forehead against hers before speaking, "I love you and I want you back, I want you to take me back, permanently, I'll sell my house and move back in here, no more running away, whatever happens in the future I promise I will face it head on, by your side, holding your hand. Give me another chance Grace?"

"How many more chances are you going to want Boyd?"

"None, this is it, sink or swim, we'll do it together, you me and mini me."

"I need some time to think about it, I'm not sure of anything at the moment, it's been a very long two weeks."

"It's okay; I'll wait, as long as you say yes."

"Are you going to order something to eat?"

"Yeah, what do you want, Chinese, Indian, Pizza?"

"Anything except pizza."

"Why not pizza?"

"Because he'll want some and it's not good for him at the moment."

"Okay, I'll order some Indian and get it delivered."

"Thank you."

They spent the rest of the evening together, Boyd was clearly in no hurry to leave, he even put Christopher in bed when it was time. As they sat and watched TV, he noticed her leaning more and more towards him, he grabbed the pillow that Christopher had been using earlier and placed it on his lap.

"Put your head down for a while."

"I can't Christopher might need me."

"I'll be here; I'm not going anywhere Grace." She anxiously lay down, placing her head on the pillow in his lap. His hand rested on her neck, gently tracing patterns on her skin. Within about ten minutes she was again fast asleep.

When she woke up a couple of hours later her head was still on his lap, his hand was placed gently on her waist, keeping contact with her at all times. She stretched and sat up, trying to flatten down her hair at the same time.

"You don't need to do that, you always look beautiful when you wake up."

"I don't feel it."

"Well you are." He once again placed his hand on her face, gently stroking her skin, as she melted into his touch, this time it was her who lent forward and initiated the kiss. It started out as just a soft kiss, but it soon turned more heated, he gently pushed her back on the sofa and lay by her side, his arms holding her around the waist as he pressed himself against her. "I've missed you so much." He whispered to her.

"I've missed you too." She replied.

"Take me back Grace, please?"

Grace nodded her head at him before planting her lips firmly against his again.


	17. Substitute

**Chapter 17 – Substitute**

**Okay so I may have got mixed up with the times between series, but at the moment Christopher Boyd is still six years old, but I guess there is nothing to say that there was a year between each series, and anyway, poetic license and all that.**

* * *

><p>As she stood in her bathroom looking in the mirror fear rose up into her throat, she felt the area again, but it was still there, she hadn't imagined it. She felt the other side but there was nothing, it was most definitely an abnormality.<p>

"Grace can you hurry up in there."

No reply.

"Grace come on, I'm going to be late."

It took a few moments for the noise from outside the bathroom door to get through to her. "Um, yeah I'm just coming out." She called back to him. She grabbed the towel and wrapped it around herself before walking out.

"Oh at last, how long does it take you to have a shower?"

"Yeah well I'm out now!" She snapped back at him.

"Hey I was only kidding, you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine." She replied, walking into the bedroom and dressing, covering herself up before he was back in the bedroom.

He noticed instantly that she was quieter than normal, and a little short tempered with both him and Christopher. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah I'm just tired."

He slipped his hands around her waist, "Is that down to me? Did I tire you out last night?" He said whilst nuzzling against her neck.

"Could you just leave it please, I'm tired, and would prefer not to be groped first thing in the morning."

"Okay, fine, sorry."

"Could you check on Christopher for me I need to go downstairs."

"Yeah, no problem." He continued dressing after she left the room, a little perplexed at her behaviour. He opened the door to Christopher's room to find him still only half dressed, sat on the floor playing.

"Hey, you should be getting dressed."

"I am dressed."

"Where's your socks and shoes, and your jumper."

"On my bed." He replied whilst continuing to play.

Boyd sat on Christopher's bed and picked up his socks and shoes. "Come here." Christopher got off the floor and went over to the bed, where Boyd put his socks and shoes on for him. "Mummy says you're supposed to do this yourself now, cos you're a big boy."

"I can do it myself."

"So why didn't you?"

"I was playing."

"What does Mummy say about playing before school?"

"She says I'm not allowed to play before school, only after school."

"So what will happen if I tell her you were playing when you should be getting ready for school?"

Christopher looked very serious as he contemplated his answer, he then just shrugged his shoulders. Boyd put the jumper over Christopher's head and then tapped his bottom, "No more playing before school, or else I'll tell Mummy, okay." Christopher responded by nodding his head. "Let's go and have breakfast."

Downstairs Grace was on the telephone, she finished the call just as they got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Who was that?"

"No one, I just needed to check on his prescription." She lied. She put some toast in front of Christopher, and then sat and buttered some for herself, Boyd did his own, and they sat and ate breakfast in relative silence, apart from their son chatting as per normal.

o0o

At work Grace remained quiet and preoccupied, they were looking into a case that Eve had stumbled upon, the death of an aid worker that Eve believed maybe connected to her lover Stefan.

Eve tapped lightly on Grace's office door, and walked in when Grace responded.

"Hi Grace, I just wanted to ask, well I wondered really, if you were okay with this case, or okay in general?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You seem a bit quiet, I wondered if you were okay with this case."

"I'm fine with the case."

"Is something else wrong?"

She hesitated and sighed before replying, "I've found a lump in my breast."

"Oh my god, have you had it checked out?"

"I've made an appointment to see someone tomorrow."

"Have you told Boyd?"

"No, I don't want him to know, not until I know what it is, please don't say anything."

"I won't say a word, but I think you should tell him, he's your partner, you need his support, and he deserves to know."

"I can't tell him, not at the moment, he's been through too much, I need to be strong for me, and I can't be strong for him too, not until I know what it is."

"It's your decision, obviously, but I think you're under estimating him, I think you need to learn to lean on him."

"And what if he decides he can't deal with it, what if he walks away again."

"He wouldn't do that too you, when he left before it was to deal with his own feelings, he'll be there for you Grace."

"I can't risk that, not yet."

"Well if you need some moral support, I'd happily come to the appointment with you."

"I'll be fine, but thank you."

Eve left Grace alone to ponder what she had said, the rest of the day seemed to drag on for Grace. She felt unable to concentrate and spent her time watching the clock, praying for 5.30 to come around, although she knew he may need them to work later. It was 4.30 when Boyd walked into her office and walked around behind where she was sat. Checking that no one was around he placed his hands on her shoulders and began to gently massage her tense muscles, it wasn't an intimate action, just one that was a little more touchy feely than he would normally be in the work place. She didn't stop him; it felt far too nice to stop him.

"You look tired Grace, why don't you take the car and go on home."

"I need to get this finished."

"You need to get some rest and I need to stay late, so go home, get Christopher and have an early night."

"How will you get home?"

"Spence or a taxi."

"You sure?"

"Yes, so go." He handed her the keys to his car, and she turned around and kissed him, a quick peck before she left.

It was gone 11pm by the time Boyd got home, he'd eaten at work so didn't bother going into the kitchen, he locked up and walked up the stairs, he could hear the TV coming from their bedroom, and see the feint light shining beneath the door, he opened the door slowly to see both Grace and Christopher curled up asleep on their large king sized bed. He walked around to his side of the bed and gently lifted up his son, who grumbled a little but didn't wake up. He carried him into his own bedroom and put him into bed, pulling the duvet over him and kissing him goodnight, before pulling the door up a little, leaving it open enough so they could hear him if he needed them.

Back in his own bedroom he turned off the TV and the bedside lamp by Grace's side of the bed; he then undressed and climbed in gently beside her, trying his best not to wake her up. He failed and she rolled over to snuggle up to him.

"What time is it?"

"11.30, go back to sleep."

"Where's Christopher?"

"He's okay; I put him back in his own bed." He replied before kissing her forehead, she was sleeping peacefully again within a few minutes.

The alarm went off at 6.30am, just as it always did, and he woke to find Grace still snuggled against him fast asleep, he smiled at her, she was normally awake before the alarm. He kissed her lips gently and she fidgeted slightly, stretching and then yawning as she woke up.

"Feeling better?" He asked her.

"No, not really, I've got a headache." She replied sleepily.

"Do you want me to get you some tablets?"

"No it's fine; I've got to get up anyway."

"We have ages yet, take some tablets and go back to sleep for a while, I'll have a shower and then get mini me ready."

"Yeah okay, thanks."

"You're welcome." He replied whilst leaning forward and kissing her tenderly. "Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Yes please."

He left her alone in bed whilst he went and made some tea, taking her a cup and some paracetamol a short time later, he sat on the bed next to her and handed her the tablets. He stroked her face as he spoke to her. "What's wrong Grace?"

"I've got a headache, I told you."

"No I mean what else is wrong, you like tired and pale, you've been snappy with Christopher, if you were younger I'd ask if it was that time of the month."

"That is such a stupid and immature male response isn't it, I don't bow to your every need so it must be that time of the month, couldn't be that I'm just a tiny bit fed up with stupid bloody men who make stupid bloody comments all the time, oh no, it must be my hormones."

"I wasn't suggesting that, I was just saying that you seem a little off colour."

"Could you just leave me alone please?"

"Sure, okay."

By the time she was in the shower he was already showered and dressed, and had got Christopher up and ready for school. As she opened the bathroom door she stepped straight on to one of Christopher's toy cars, causing her to swear loudly.

She grabbed him by the hand and shouted loudly at him, "For god's sake Christopher how many times have I asked you not to leave your bloody toys on the landing." He stood silently in front of her, his bottom lip quivering about to cry, but then she burst into tears herself. Boyd was immediately by her side, and put his arms around her.

"It's okay, it's all okay." He said to her, whilst putting his hand on Christopher's head, "Go and play in your room for a few minutes mate." He said ushering him into his bedroom, and pulling Grace into their bedroom still holding her in his arms, not wanting Christopher to see or hear her crying. "I don't know what the problem is, but you are not leaving this room until you tell me, I know something is wrong, for a start you never shout at Christopher, I'm the shouter you're the voice of reason. Now whatever it is just tell me."

Grace didn't speak she just cried in his arms, clinging on to him for what seemed like ages. She eventually stopped and pulled away from him, turning to sit on the edge of their bed, still wrapped in just a towel after her shower. "I can't believe I shouted at him like that, he looked terrified."

"He's a little boy, a kiss and a cuddle from you and he'll forget all about it."

"That doesn't make it right."

"No, but it happens. What's wrong Grace?"

She sat in silence for a few minutes placing her hands over her mouth before finding the words to tell him what she needed to tell him. "I found a lump in my breast."

"What? Since when, I mean when did you first notice it?"

"Yesterday in the shower."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to put anything else on you, you've been through so much recently."

"It doesn't matter what I've been through, this is about you, and what you need, and what you need at a time like this is love and support."

"I'm scared Peter."

"It's okay to be scared, have you made a Doctor's appointment?"

"Yes, I've got one this morning."

"Okay, well I'm coming with you; I'll phone Spence and tell him we'll be in later."

"No it's okay; I'd rather go on my own."

"That's not up for discussion Grace, I am coming with you."

"It's not necessary."

"Yes it is, even if all I can do is sit and hold your hand, it will be worth it. Now show me where the lump is."

Grace laid back on the bed and lowered the towel, she took his hand and placed it over the area where the lump was. He gently felt the lump, checking the other breast to feel the difference.

"It's not my imagination is it?"

"No, there is definitely something there, but that doesn't mean it's something sinister, there are other things it could be."

"But it could also be cancer." She sat up and covered herself.

Boyd knelt down in front of her, "There is absolutely no point trying to guess what it is or isn't, whatever it is we will deal with it together, head on, I promise." He leant forward and gently kissed her, as he pulled away he pressed his forehead against hers, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Get dressed, I'll get mini me some breakfast."

"I need to tell him I'm sorry for shouting at him." Boyd opened the bedroom door and fetched Christopher in to see her; he stood quietly in the doorway looking very sheepish.

"Sorry Mummy." He said quietly.

"It's okay, I'm sorry I shouted at you, can I have a cuddle please." He walked slowly towards her and put his arms around her neck, holding her tightly. Grace kissed him as she held him, tears again falling down her face.

Boyd took care of Christopher, getting him some breakfast and then driving him to school whilst Grace stayed at home. When he returned she was ready for her Doctor's appointment. He drove them and then sat in the waiting room with her holding her hand, when she was called through he went with her, he sat patiently as the Doctor examined her and then told her what would happen next. She would need a mammogram, and then depending on the results of that she may need to have further tests to confirm what the lump was. The results of those tests would determine what treatment she would need, if any.

They had private healthcare, so the appointment for the mammogram was made straight away, for that afternoon. They had about an hour between appointments, so he took her for a coffee, they sat at a table in a corner, Grace still looked tired and pale, but it was more caused by fear and worry than anything else.

He reached across the table and held her hand. "Everything's going to be fine you know."

"We don't know that, this could be my worst nightmare, what then, what if I die and have to leave Christopher to grow up without a Mum."

"Don't think like that, try and be positive, I know it must be hard, but we have to try."

Grace nodded her head in response to him. They sat and drank their coffees in relative silence before going to the breast screening centre, Grace had the Mammogram done and then had to just wait for the results.

TBC

Thanks for reading.


	18. Endgame Part 1

**Chapter 18 – Endgame**

This chapter is the entire reason I wrote this fic, I had an idea for an alternative version of Endgame, so I hope you enjoy.

* * *

><p>The results of Grace's mammogram showed some abnormalities in her breast, and she was told she needed to go into hospital for further tests.<p>

It was the night before she was due to be admitted, everything was ready, she just had one last important job to do, a job she had been dreading.

She was in bed with Christopher on her lap, she sat and cuddled him whilst she told him that she was going into hospital for a while, and that she wouldn't be at home with him. She had never left him for any length of time, the only time they had spent apart were when he had stayed at his Dads when they were seperated and despite the fact that he would have his Dad, she felt terrible about leaving him. She didn't try and explain the reasons why, he was far too young for that, she just did her best to make him understand that she wouldn't be at home for a while, but that he could come and visit her and that she would be home again soon, and he could speak to her on the phone any time he wanted to. She wasn't sure he took it all in, he just asked why a lot and then said okay before giving her a kiss goodnight and going to bed.

Boyd tucked him into bed and turned his light out before getting into bed himself, he lay on his side facing Grace, and pulled her into his arms. She stretched up and kissed him, a deep meaningful kiss. "Do you want to make love?" She asked him quietly.

"Not unless you do."

"It's just it..." She hesitated.

"What?"

"It might be the last chance we get, for a while, I mean."

"I want to do whatever you want to do."

"That's not an answer."

"I know, it's a cop out. I just want to hold you, sleep with you in my arms."

She kissed him again, "that's just what I want too."

He watched as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, he lay awake for a while just watching her sleep. As much as he stayed positive in front of her, he knew she was right, it might be the last chance they had to make love for a while. They had no idea how long she was going to be in hospital, or what procedures and or treatments she would have to go through. No matter what she went through, he guessed it would be a while until they were able to be together in that sense again, but tonight all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and watch her sleep.

The following morning Boyd got Christopher ready for school and did the school run, Grace kissed him goodbye and told him she loved him and would see him soon.

A couple of hours later she was walking through the hospital corridors holding onto Boyd's hand, he carried her small case in one hand and kept the other hand tightly in hers. She was the first to admit that he had been a tower of strength during the tests she had been through, and was constantly reassuring her that, not only would he be able to cope with looking after Christopher whilst she was away, but also that she would get through this. He had taken time off work whilst she was in hospital, so he could be there for their son, and for her.

Grace was shown to a private room and settled in, Boyd stayed with her all afternoon, sitting and holding her hand, and wheeling her around in a wheelchair when she needed to go for blood tests. When it came close to the time for him to leave he perched on the side of her bed, she leant forward and kissed him.

"Are you going to be okay?" She asked him.

"Yeah, me and mini me will be just fine, I promise, you just need to concentrate on getting well, okay?"

"Okay." She took his hand in hers, "I love you."

"I love you too." He leant forward again and kissed her, forgetting where they were for a couple of minutes as they kissed passionately, her hand still holding tightly onto his. He looked at his watch, "I need to go and pick him up."

"I know, it's okay. Call me later."

"I will, I promise, and I'll be back in the morning." He pecked her on the lips once again before he left her for the evening.

As he walked out of the room he felt emotional, wiping a solitary tear from his eye on his way back to the car. He picked Christopher up from his child minder on his way home.

Once at home they ate dinner and he then got Christopher changed into his pyjamas, he seemed quieter than normal, and Boyd already sensed that he was missing his Mummy. During Boyd's absences from their lives, he had developed a very strong bond with his Mum, she was the one who never failed him, when he was poorly or sad, naughty or good, it was her who always took care of everything.

Boyd decided against phoning her whilst he was there, worried that it may upset him more to be able to speak to her on the phone but not see her.

"What did you do at school today?" He asked him trying to take his mind off things.

Christopher just shrugged his shoulders, he was usually a little chatterbox, he only went quiet when he was ill or in trouble.

"Do you want a cuddle?" Boyd asked him, he again shrugged his shoulders, before putting his hand to his eyes and bursting into tears, "Hey, hey, it's okay." Boyd picked him up and cuddled him soothingly.

"I want Mummy." He said between sobs.

"I know, but Mummies gone away for a little while, you can go and see her soon, I promise."

"Can we phone her?"

"What now?" Christopher nodded his head against Boyd's shoulder, Boyd took his phone from his pocket and dialled Grace's mobile.

"Hi." She answered.

"Hi sweetheart."

"You okay?" She asked noticing he sounded a bit stressed.

"I'm fine yeah, but I have a little boy here who's a bit Mummy sick."

"Okay, put him on."

"Hey, Mummies on the phone." He put the phone to Christopher's ear.

"Hey Christopher, how was school today?"

His voice was tear full as he spoke, "I want you to come home Mummy."

"I know you do, but Daddy will bring you to see me tomorrow, and before you know it I'll be back home, you'll see. Tell me what you had for dinner?" She tried to change the subject, but Christopher continued to sob down the phone, unable to answer her. "Christopher listen to me, you're making yourself wheezy, so you need to calm down, you'll see me soon I promise, put Daddy on the phone for me."

Christopher gave the phone back to Boyd, and continued to cry on his shoulder.

"Hi. It's me again." He said.

"Hi, he sounds a bit wheezy; make sure he uses his inhalers."

"I will, listen I'm gonna go now, see if I can get him settled."

"Okay, call me back if you need to, bye."

"I will, bye."

Boyd closed his phone and turned his attentions back to his son who was still whaling in his arms, "Are you tired?"

"No!" He said with a little bit of temper to his voice.

"Do you want to sleep in mine and Mummies bed tonight? Keep me company."

He nodded his head.

"Well in that case, you need to be a good boy and stop crying. We need to do your inhalers, make you stop wheezing, okay?"

He again nodded his head; he sniffed a few more times before settling down a bit more. Boyd helped him use his inhalers; he locked up and then put Christopher to bed in his and Grace's bed, staying with him. He seemed to have tired himself out and went off to sleep quite quickly. Once he was settled, Boyd picked up his phone and dialled Grace's number.

"Hi." She said answering quite quickly.

"Hi, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay, bored, missing you and mini me, how is he."

"Fast asleep in our bed."

"Bad habits Boyd."

"Yeah cos you never do that, do you?"

"Nope. How are you?"

"Missing you, at least with him in our bed I don't have to sleep alone."

"Why do you think I let him in there when you're not with me?"

"So have they said what will happen tomorrow?"

"I'm having a scan first thing, then more tests, and then hopefully find out a little bit more after that."

"Yeah, hopefully, I'll be in to see you as soon as visiting time starts."

"Can you bring Christopher in after school, otherwise you'll have me whaling on your shoulder."

"Yeah of course, I promised him I'd bring him anyway, I should have known he would get upset, he was really quiet all evening."

"If he's not talking it's always a bad sign."

"Yeah I know, I guess I should let you get some sleep."

"I suppose you should yeah."

"I love you Grace."

"I love you too, and I miss you, both of you."

"We miss you too, try and get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow."

"I will. Bye."

* * *

><p>The following day Boyd dropped Christopher at school and then headed into the hospital to visit Grace. She was sat in bed in her room, looking a little tired and drained. He walked straight over to her and kissed her gently.<p>

"Hey." He said as she opened her eyes.

"Hi." She replied and smiled at him.

"How you feeling?"

"Tired, and a little sore."

"What have they done?"

"They took a core biopsy, we just need to wait for the results now."

"Will that tell us what it is?"

"Yeah, then they can decide what's next." Grace grimaced slightly as she moved.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really, just a little uncomfortable, how was Christopher this morning?"

"Okay, he was still a bit quiet, but I promised him he could come and see you after school, so I think that cheered him up a bit."

"Good."

"Shift over then." He said kicking off his shoes.

"What?"

"Shift over, I want a cuddle."

Grace moved over and he sat on the bed next to her, she cuddled up to him and drifted off to sleep, staying that way until he had to leave to collect Christopher from his child minder.

He wasn't gone long, he collected their son and, as promised to both of them, took him to the hospital to visit her. Christopher's face lit up when he saw her, Boyd lifted him onto her bed so he could cuddle her, careful to make sure he didn't knock her biopsy site. He spent the evening cuddled up to her, eventually falling asleep in her arms. He was still asleep when visiting time ended, Boyd once again perched on the edge of her bed and sat kissing her for a few minutes, telling her how much he loved her, she gently kissed Christopher goodbye, and then Boyd picked him up and carried him back to the car, they were actually grateful that he was asleep, so that he didn't get upset at having to leave her.

Grace remained in hospital for the next few days, and Boyd continued to visit her daily and look after Christopher. He dropped him off at school on Friday morning as normal, and then returned home for a couple of hours before visiting hours began. He was tidying around when his doorbell rang, he opened the door to see Spence and Stella stood at his door.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked looking puzzled.

"Yeah, sort of, can we talk boss, inside please."

Boyd invited them both in and they sat down.

"So what's going on?" Boyd asked them.

"Um, Linda Cummings has escaped from Padworth Maximum security facility."

"What, how the hell did that happen?"

"There was a riot, she caused some confusion and managed to get away, the thing is..."

"What Spence, the thing is what?"

"Her cell was filled with pictures of you, Grace and Christopher."

"How did she get hold of pictures of us?"

"We don't know yet, we're still looking into that, but we think you should all be in protective custody."

"Grace is in hospital, you know she is."

"Boss she had photos of you visiting the hospital, photos from inside Grace's hospital room whilst she was sleeping, photos of you taking Christopher to school, and picking him up from his child minders, all recent photo's, someone's been watching you, and we can only guess why."

"Okay, well I'll get straight to his school and pick him up, can you get protection for Grace at the hospital."

"Already on its way, we'll drive you to the school." We have alerted the school to the danger, and sent a uniformed officer there.

Spence drove to the school at high speed, blues and twos on, they were there within ten minutes, and Boyd walked into the building to find his son. He was familiar with the layout of the school, he had been to Christopher's parents evenings and school plays, and regularly did the school run, walking him into the building before leaving him. Inside the school he went straight to the head teacher's office and explained to them who he was, and what he wanted, in one word, his son. Spencer remained outside the school trying to locate the uniformed officer that he had asked to be deployed to the school.

Boyd was asked to wait a moment, before the head teacher came and spoke to him.

"Hi Mr Boyd, we had a message from a DI Jordan telling us he was sending an officer to collect Christopher."

"He sent an officer to watch him until I could get here."

"But a female officer collected him about ten minutes ago."

Boyd's heart was in his mouth as he spoke, "What female officer, did she have ID?"

"We checked her ID, she was in uniform, and Christopher went along with her."

As she finished the sentence Spencer walked into the school, "What's going on, I can't find the uniformed officer we sent, did he show up?"

"He?" Boyd asked.

"Yeah, he, it was a male officer that was sent."

"Oh no, oh god no, please."

"What, what's going on?"

"They say a female officer picked him up about ten minutes ago." Boyd all but collapsed on to a nearby seat, as he did so he received a text on his phone. The number was unknown and the text simply said:

_**Sweet boy Peter, just like his Dad.**_

Boyd didn't speak, he couldn't speak, he just handed his phone to Spence.

"She's got him." Spencer said, looking at Stella with a look of horror on his face.

Boyd looked distraught, "How am I going to tell Grace?"

"It's okay boss, we'll take care of it, and I'll find him, I promise you I'll get him back for you."

"No, I have to tell Grace, leave that to me, please."

Spence nodded his head at him, "Come on. I'll drive you to the hospital. Stella, contact the local guys, let them know what's going on, and get Eve down here to get what she needs, if she needs Christopher's DNA let me know, I can sort that, nobody talks to Boyd or Grace but me, okay?" Stella nodded her head in response to him.

Boyd walked slowly into Grace's hospital room, his face pale, his expression heavy, he dismissed the PC on duty outside her room, and walked slowly to her bed.

"What is it?" She asked sensing something serious was wrong.

"Linda Cummings has.."

"She's escaped I know, they told me."

"Her room was full of photos of us, of you, me and Christopher." Grace's expression was changing to one of deep fear with every word he said. "They sent someone to the school, and then came and got me, but we weren't quick enough, she walked into his school in a police uniform, with a police ID and she took him. She has him Grace, she has Christopher."

"No, please no."

"I'm so sorry Grace, I tried to get to him, I really did." Boyd sat on the edge of the bed and held her as she cried hysterically. "We'll find him; I promise we'll find him, safe and sound."

A cough from the doorway made them pull apart; they turned to see Spencer standing there. "I'm sorry I didn't want to disturb you, but I need some information."

"We need a full description of what he was wearing, and a recent photo if possible."

Boyd pulled his wallet from his pocket and removed a couple of photo's "This is his latest school photo; it's only a couple of months old."

"Brilliant, thanks, I'll have it copied and make sure you get it back. Can you describe what he was wearing, in as much detail as possible?"

"His school uniform, um, a white polo shirt, royal blue sweat shirt with the school badge on it, dark grey trousers, black shoes, the ones with the little Velcro straps, and a navy blue puffa jacket, he has a little rucksack too, a spiderman one."

"That's great, thanks; I'll get that circulated straight away."

"Has there been any more contact?"

"No, not yet, I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything, I give you my word."

"Thanks, what happened to the PC you sent to the school, did he turn up?"

Spence looked at him nervously, "Yeah, um can I have a word outside boss?"

Grace interrupted before he could go anywhere. "No Spencer, whatever it is whatever she's done, I want to know, I don't want you keeping anything from me or either of us."

Spencer nodded his head, "We found his body in an area behind the school, she'd cut his throat, she'd taken the car, but she's since abandoned it."

Grace gripped tighter onto Boyd's hand, "I need to get out of here, you need our help to catch her." She said.

"No Grace, you can't leave, you're not well, you need to be in here."

"I don't care about my health, I care about my son, our son, and that bloody maniac has him, she could do anything to him."

Boyd again put his arms around her and tried to soothe her as she cried, "We'll bring everything in here, okay, we'll set up the office here so I know you're being looked after and we can assist with the search for Christopher." He looked at Spencer and nodded his head, indicating for him to get everything they needed into Grace's hospital room.

Within the hour Grace's room looked like the CCHQ, she had a laptop set up in front of her, and Boyd and Spencer were running the search from her room, he'd had no more text messages. They were doing everything they could.

* * *

><p>They heard nothing for the next four days, they knew she was toying with them, prolonging their agony. Neither of them had slept, and the team, Spencer, Stella and Eve had been working around the clock, staying at the hospital with them and napping when they could, so that they would be there if they were needed. But so far they'd heard nothing from her, and all their investigations had led them nowhere. Where ever she was, she was well hidden, and making them wait until she was ready to get in touch.<p>

It was first thing on the following Tuesday morning when a letter was delivered to the CCHQ, Stella brought it straight to the hospital for Boyd, he opened it and it contained a photo of Christopher and a website address. He looked tired and unclean. They immediately logged onto the website, and clicked onto a video link.

It was footage from what looked like a disused building, clearly being filmed by her; she was also giving a commentary as she was filming.

"Cute kid Peter, he could grow up just like his Dad, if he gets to grow up that is." The camera focused on a metal cloakroom style locker, and as she kicked it, Christopher's voice could be heard; he was crying and calling for Mummy and Daddy. "I suggest you follow my instructions Peter, or you'll be burying another son, after you find him that is. Oh don't worry, I'll send him back to you, a little bit at a time, maybe I should send his fingers first." The camera zoomed in on some blood stained secateurs as she said the last bit. "I don't want to hurt him Peter, I want to hurt you, but if I can't hurt you, physically, then I'll hurt him to hurt you." The camera panned around the room, "Now I'm sure you know where I am Peter, and that you're not silly enough to come mob handed, otherwise you know what will happen to little Christopher." The locker door was opened to show Christopher inside it, his tear stained face staring at the camera, he was still crying and calling for his parents, his nose was bleeding and his face looked red as though it had been slapped hard, they could hear his breathing, wheezy and laboured, she grabbed a hand full of his hair and yanked his head back, causing him to scream in pain and call for Mummy. "I'll be waiting Peter." Just then the footage ended, and left Grace and Boyd in a state of terror.

"Oh my god, what do we do?" Grace said looking at him.

"I know that building, she knows that, that's why she's sent the footage."

"What, where is it?" Spencer asked him.

"I can't tell you Spence, I need to go alone."

"No boss, I'm sorry I can't allow that, your place is here with Grace, tell us where she is and we'll find him, unharmed."

"She's unstable Spence, if she sees you arrive with a van full of armed police there's no telling what she'll do, she's a killer we know that, I'm not prepared to risk my son's life, I've already lost one son."

"Boyd you need Spencer's help, you can't do this alone." Grace pleaded with him.

"I can't risk her hurting him Grace; she already has by the looks of it."

"You can't do this alone, you're right she's unstable, that's why you can't go alone, I want you both back Boyd."

As she looked deep into his eyes she could see the raw emotion in them, the fear and the anger, he eventually spoke. "Okay, but we do this my way, and it's just you and me Spence, no one else will even know we've left."

"I give you my word boss, just you and me. Let's do it."

Boyd again looked at Grace; he placed his hand on her face, "I'll bring him back to you, I promise."

"I want you both back, unharmed and safe with me, and Spencer too." She said the words loud enough for Spencer to hear.

Spencer approached her, "I'll look after him, and we'll all be back, okay."

She put her arms around him, "I know you will."

Spencer armed himself and they both put on bullet proof vests. Boyd opened the boot to his car, and Spencer got in and covered himself with a blanket. He then drove to the disused school that he'd recognised in the footage, it was the building that Luke's body had been found in. As he stopped the car he discreetly opened the boot from inside the car, which would allow Spence to get out after a delay.

Boyd walked into the building with one thing on his mind, his son. He walked slowly through the corridors, looking for signs of her, but in his heart he knew where she would be, in the old school changing rooms, where they had found Luke's body.

After Luke's death he had gone to the building, he'd put it down to a morbid curiosity to find out all he could about Luke's last moments on this earth, and he had sat and cried in that changing room.

A place that had once been bustling with the noise of happy sounds was now icily silent, just as it had been on his last visit.

He walked slowly into the changing rooms, carefully scanning the room for signs of her, but before he was even four feet into the room she had seen him.

"Hello Peter."

He walked towards her, and stood in front of her. "Where's my son?"

"Oh don't worry he's safely locked away." She replied with an evil glint in her eye and a sadistic tone to her voice.

"I don't care about you, I'm not interested in apprehending you, I just want my son back."

"Your lack of interest wounds me Peter, how about we start with you losing the vest."

He didn't hesitate; he removed his jacket and the bulletproof vest. "I want my son back."

"Patience is a virtue DSI Boyd."

"Just let him go, you said you wanted to hurt me, so do what you want to me, just let him go."

"Such concern for your youngest son, were you that concerned with Luke, or did you let him OD in this very building, alone, and cold, do you ever wonder what his last moments were like, whether he thought of you, or whether his only concern was getting wasted."

"Release Christopher."

"What about Luke, Peter. What was he running away from, his lousy childhood, his unfeeling and unconcerned father, his slut of a mother who slept around with most of your colleagues, or was it something else. Perhaps he hated that he went with men to fund his habit, perhaps he couldn't forget the look in your eyes when you caught him giving a blow-job to a client."

"You fucking bitch."

"That's better, that's the Peter we know, the aggressive and abusive Peter who nearly threw that client out of a window. What bothered you more, him being a rent boy or a junkie, did you think he might be gay or did you know he was just selling his arse to get money."

He tried his best to keep his anger in check, but she was pushing all the right buttons to get him angry. "Whatever he was I loved him, he was my son, and I would have done anything for him."

"But he died alone. Alone and cold in this building, in a pool of his own vomit and urine, so drugged up he couldn't even dial 999 for help."

"You seem to know a lot about my son's death."

"Maybe he had a little help on his way Boyd, maybe his hands shook too much for him to be able to inject that final dose, that one last hit that sealed his fate."

"Oh you think we don't know about Penny Cane, we know what she's been doing, helping them on their way, doing what she thinks is god's work, putting them out of their misery, but she wasn't with Luke, she kept photos and she didn't have Luke's."

Linda started to fan herself with a Polaroid photo, "Oh, what you mean this one." She flicked the photo at him and it landed on the floor just in front of him. He slowly bent forward and picked up the photo. It was indeed a photo of Luke, it was obviously his last minutes, he was sat in the very room they were in, his face expressionless, his beautiful dark eyes empty and shallow, and the life ebbing out of his body. Boyd felt the bile rise in his throat at the awful sight of his son's last moments, possibly just seconds from breathing his last breath, and not only had that evil bitch administered the final and lethal dose of heroin into his body, she had stood by and photographed him as his life slipped away.

"You evil bitch, you evil fucking bitch."

"Ooh that's better Peter, at last we see some emotion, some feeling. Tell me did you ever tell your son you loved him? Do you think he knew? Or perhaps you didn't love him, trapped in a marriage to a woman you didn't love who slept around to get back at you for not loving her, with a son you had no time for, maybe you didn't love him."

"I loved my son, both of my sons, now release Christopher, and let him go back to his mother."

"Ah the delightful Dr Foley, do you love her, or are you trapped in another loveless relationship for the sake of another son that you'll end up resenting, maybe he'll follow in Luke's footsteps, maybe we should leave him here, save time later."

"BITCH!" Boyd shouted as he lunged forward at her, but before he could get close enough to her he felt a burning sharp pain in his lower side, and then the room went black.

* * *

><p>As the room came back into focus, he was immediately aware of how restricted he felt. He was unsure of how long he'd been out cold, but it was long enough for her to tie him up.<p>

"Back with us?" She asked him, slapping his face as she spoke. "In case you were wondering, it was a Taser, very effective, don't you think?"

"Release Christopher, please just release him, he's a little boy, please just let him go, I'm begging you."

"All in good time Peter, we need to have a little more fun first, and then I'll let him watch as I kill you."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Revenge, plain and simple, you locked me up, now I'm free, and I'm going to make you suffer. We're not that different, you and me. You'd kill under the right circumstances, wouldn't you?"

"I am nothing like you, I would never kill anyone."

"Not even if your son's life depended on it? What if, for example, it was Christopher or say Dr Wharton?" As Linda moved aside, Boyd could see Frankie tied to a chair, she was bound and gagged and sat directly opposite him.

"Frankie!" He said the words so quietly they were only just audible. "Frankie, you okay?" He said it louder. She nodded her head at him.

"Your concern is touching Boyd." Linda grabbed the gag from Frankie's mouth.

"You do what you have to do to save Christopher, okay?" Frankie said to him.

"I can't, I can't hurt you." As he spoke the tears streamed down his face, and his voice crackled with emotion.

"Yes you can, it's okay, I forgive you, no one will blame you, he's your son, you save him."

Boyd sat in tears shaking his head.

"It's decision time Peter, what's it to be, Frankie or Christopher?"

"Please don't do this Linda, please, just let him go."

"Are you going to sit there and watch as I cut your sons throat, do you have the stomach for it, or are you going to administer this fatal dose of drugs to Dr Wharton, it's your choice Peter."

"You evil fucking bitch."

She gripped Frankie's face and pulled her head back as she held the syringe to her throat, "Do you want to say goodbye Peter?" She said with laughter in her voice. She produced a cut throat razor from her pocket and opened it out, "I know, let's ask Christopher." She moved away from Frankie and opened an old school locker, she put her hand inside and pulled Christopher out of the locker by his throat. She kept her hand around his throat and stood between Christopher and Frankie.

"Christopher, it's daddy, it's okay son, everything will be okay." Boyd called to his son, trying to reassure him, Christopher looked weak and pale, he had bruising to his face, and he could hear his chest wheezing from a distance. Christopher didn't speak he just cried, calling for his daddy.

She put the razor blade against Christopher's throat as she continued to speak, "Eeny, meeny, miney..."

"Drop it or I'll shoot." Spencer stood in the doorway, his hand outstretched and holding his police issue hand gun.

"One more for the party, so are you going to shoot me Spence, or watch as I cut your godsons throat?"

"That's a no brainer Linda, I'll shoot you, now drop it."

Boyd's heart was in his mouth, his eyes refused to move from the blade against Christopher's throat, every movement of her hand almost causing his heart to stop beating.

"Drop the weapon Linda, last chance!" Spence repeated the question.

Linda's hand moved a fraction, nicking Christopher's skin and drawing blood.

"Nooooooo!" Boyd shouted fearing the worst.

Before anyone one could blink, a gunshot rang out and Linda was lying dead on the floor, one clean gunshot wound to her head.

Spencer immediately went to Christopher, picking him up and holding him, he then managed to untie Frankie whilst still holding onto his godson. Frankie in return undid Boyd, who then took his son in his arms.

"It's okay, daddy's got you now, it's all over."

Christopher didn't speak; he just grizzled and held onto his Dad. "I'll call this in boss."

"Let me speak to Grace first Spence." Spence nodded his head in response, and Boyd took his phone out of his pocket. "Hi it's me, he's okay, I've got him, I'll explain everything when we get to the hospital, okay."

He said his goodbyes and ended the call.

To Be Continued


	19. Endgame Part 2

**Chapter 19 - Endgame - Part 2**

An ambulance was called to take Christopher to the hospital, Boyd stayed with him, holding him, until the paramedics and doctors needed to examine him.

Despite Christopher's cries and screams, Boyd was asked to wait outside whilst they examined him, a doctor then came out to speak to him.

"Hi, Mr Boyd?" He asked him. "We've examined Christopher, and put him on a drip, he's severely dehydrated, he has a chest infection and a fractured wrist, he also has some skin sores and some cuts and bruises, physically he'll be okay, but we'd like to keep him in for a few nights to get him well again."

"What do you mean physically he'll be okay?"

"He will need to undergo a psychological evaluation, but in my opinion, after what he's been through, he will need some kind of therapy."

"His mother's a psychologist; she'll be able to help him."

"It might not be what's right for Christopher; it may be easier for him to open up to someone not so close."

"We'll let her be the judge of that."

"Mr Boyd, your son has been locked in a metal locker for four days, he wasn't given anything to eat or drink, he was physically and mentally abused, she did not even let him out to go to the toilet, so he was forced to soil himself, he was unable to move enough to get out of those clothes, so consequently he has severe skin sores over his legs and bottom. He is severely traumatised."

"I understand that, I just...I just want to look after him."

"And I understand that, I'll give you some time to think about it."

"Thank you."

Christopher was moved to a side room, his lower arm in plaster, and his cuts and bruises cleaned and dressed where needed. He needed a couple of stitches in his neck where she had nicked him with the razor blade. He was tired, but wouldn't go to sleep; he was scared of letting go of Boyd, and longed for his Mummy, who had still been unable to get to him. When Grace eventually walked into the room, Boyd was sat on a chair with Christopher in his arms, she walked over to them and leant down beside her son, who immediately put his arms out for her to take him, and she did so gratefully.

Boyd looked at her as she took him, "He's okay, he'll be okay." he said to her.

Grace and Boyd both spent the night in the room with him, neither of them willing to leave his side, Grace lay on the bed with Christopher in her arms, and Boyd sat on a chair beside his bed, holding his hand. Christopher woke frequently throughout the night, he seemed to doze off and then wake up frightened and crying. They took it in turns to cuddle him and try and settle him again each time he woke up. They were so grateful to have him back that neither of them seemed bothered about the fact that they were exhausted. Grace in particular needed to rest, she was still waiting for the results of her tests, but she had no intention of leaving her son, she said either he stayed with her or she'd stay with him, in the end the hospital said she could stay with him and they would arrange to have her medication sent over to her.

Grace eventually dozed off to sleep, and Boyd let her rest, he spent his night awake, seeing to his son when he needed him, Christopher wouldn't even go to the bathroom on his own, and wanted to be in physical contact with one or the other of his parents at all times. He woke constantly, and cried, or just sat and stared into space, he didn't really say much, except Mummy or Daddy when he wanted them. At 4am he woke after being asleep for about half an hour, Grace was asleep with her arms around him, but Boyd was still wide awake, watching over both of them. He picked his son up and held him gently in his arms, careful not to wake up Grace in the process. He held him close, and spoke soft comforting words to him as he held him, his hands gently rubbing his back or stroking his hair.

When Grace woke at 7am, the bed next to her was still empty; she looked across the room to see Boyd pacing up and down with Christopher asleep in his arms, she gave a little sigh of relief, for a moment she was scared she'd dreamt having him back, and that he was still missing. Boyd looked over at her and made a signal for her to keep quiet. He walked over to her and perched on the edge of the bed; she leant forward and gently kissed him.

"How is he?" She asked in a very quiet voice.

"He's been awake most of the night, I finally got him to go off about an hour ago, but I don't think it will take much for him to wake up."

"He's exhausted, but he just won't give into it."

"Every time I try and put him back on the bed he wakes up and cries again, he's been like that most of the night."

"Have you had any sleep?"

"No, but I'm fine, all that matters to me is you and him, it takes me back to when he was a baby, when he wouldn't settle unless I spent half the night walking him up and down."

"He's always been a Daddy's boy. You must be exhausted."

He moved one of his hands to hers and gently squeezed it, "I'm fine, I am bursting for a pee though, so I'm going to have to try and put him down."

Grace moved over to one side of the bed, "Put him on here, if he cries I'll pick him up."

Boyd carefully laid his son down on the bed; he grizzled slightly and then snuggled into Grace's side and seemed to settle again. It gave Boyd a chance to use the bathroom and then freshen up whilst he was in there.

It wasn't long before the breakfast trolley was brought into the room, Christopher was awake but said he wasn't hungry, they got him some toast and a drink and got a cup of tea for themselves. They managed to coax him into eating some of the toast, but he was still very quiet and subdued, he'd had a small amount of unbroken sleep, and it seemed to help him relax a little, after the nurses had done his obs and given him his medication he again curled up on Grace and went to sleep.

"I've been thinking and I've decided I'm going to take some extended leave from work, a couple of month's maybe."

"Okay, two things, firstly, why do you want to? And secondly, will that be possible? I mean you took time off after Luke died, it wasn't that long ago."

"My son has just been held captive for four days and physically and mentally tortured by a psychotic serial killer who held a razor blade to his throat and asked me to choose whether she killed him or one of our closest friends, he was then coated in her blood and brains after she was shot dead by a policeman, on top of that, my long term partner and love of my life is undergoing tests to see if she has breast cancer. If now isn't a good time to take some leave then I don't know when is. I just want to take care of you both Grace, screw work, if they don't want to give me time off then they can shove their job." As he finished speaking, Grace could see tears forming in his eyes.

She lifted her hand gently to the side of his face, "everything will be okay."

"Will it, we're waiting for your test results, and whatever they bring with them, plus we've got him to sort out, and I don't think that's going to be easy."

"He'll be okay; he just needs some TLC and a lot of support."

"We don't know that, he won't even go to the toilet on his own, and he won't let us out of his sight."

"He's six years old, he has loving and supportive parents, who worship the ground he walks on, he will get over this, yes he will need help, but he will get over it. The important thing is that we accept what has happened, we don't try and forget about it, or flood him with toys and sweets, we let him talk about it and get over it in his own time."

"I just want to spend some time with him, I want him to feel safe and secure, I want you both to feel safe and secure." As he finished speaking he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"You do make us feel secure, you're a brilliant father and partner, and in case you were wondering, you're the love of my life too, you don't need to feel like a failure because this happened, eventually things will all go back to normal and mini me will be leaving his toy cars on the floor where I tread on them, and making you sit on the floor and play with his toys, as well as reading him stories at bedtime, and saying just one more Daddy, and you, like the big softy you are, will read him another, cos you never say no to him."

Boyd smiled at her, "I still want to take some time off, when you both get the all clear I want to go away on holiday, take him somewhere quiet and safe where he has just you and me for a couple of weeks."

"I can cope with that, it will be nice, just the three of us."

"Yeah I think so too, no work, no hospitals, nothing but you, me and him."

"Somewhere warm though, I don't think I could cope with the cold at the moment."

"Deal, I'll book it as soon as you're out of here."

"I love you Peter." She said, taking hold of his hand.

"I love you too." He leant forward and kissed her.

It was later that day when the Doctor finally arrived to give Grace the results of her tests, she had Boyd with her and despite his tantrum, they had managed to leave Christopher for a short time with a nurse, "Hi Grace, how are you feeling today?"

"Nervous." She replied honestly, Boyd was holding her hand, and squeezed it gently to reassure her.

"Well there's no need to be, the tests have shown that you have a benign fibro adenoma."

"What's one of those?" Boyd asked.

"It is a lump composed of fibrous and glandular tissue, it is not cancerous, and does not require any further treatment."

"Does it need to be removed?" It was Grace now asking the question.

"We can remove it if you would prefer, but it's not strictly necessary, normally we leave it alone and just monitor it."

"Is there a chance of it becoming cancerous?"

"No, we only monitor it in case it increases in size or becomes problematic, painful or swollen. Most incidents of Fibro Adenoma's occur in pubescent girls, but it's not unheard of for them to appear at any age."

Boyd smiled at her and then spoke to the doctor again, "so she can go home?"

"Yes, we'll send you a follow up appointment through the post, and we can discharge straight away."

They walked back to Christopher's room in a stunned, but relieved silence, and it wasn't till they got into the room and the nurse had left that she finally broke down in his arms. Christopher's disappearance had over shadowed her concerns for her own health, but now it was all pouring out, Boyd held her and comforted her as she sobbed in his arms.

Christopher remained in hospital for a further two days, and then he too was discharged, so they were all able to go home together.

After two weeks back at home they were still focusing all their attentions on Christopher, and it was no surprise to either of them how deeply affected he was by what had happened. He was no longer the happy and carefree little boy he had been; he was quiet and withdrawn, he'd stopped playing and usually sat staring blankly at the TV screen, or staring into space. He threw tantrums over the slightest little thing, screaming, and shouting and throwing himself on the floor, on one occasion he'd even managed to give Grace a black eye when his plaster cast hit her during one of his tantrums. He suffered constant nightmares causing him to wake throughout the night, and had also started wetting the bed.

It was around 3am when Grace was woken with a start by shouting and yelling, and she was almost out of bed before she realised that the yells weren't coming from Christopher's room, but from Boyd lying next to her. She stroked his arm and spoke to him, trying to calm him down, but he shook her off and sat up on the edge of the bed. She placed her hand on his back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it was nothing." He got up and left her in bed alone. He quietly checked on Christopher on his way past, ensuring he hadn't woken him up, he hadn't and he was still asleep. He walked downstairs and into the kitchen, getting a glass of water and then sitting down.

"No running away Peter." Her voice was soft and filled with concern.

"What?"

"You promised me, no more running away from things or hiding your feelings."

"I know."

"So what was that about?"

"It was just a dream."

"It sounded like a nightmare, what was it about?"

He sighed softly, "Luke. It was about Luke."

"Because of the things Linda said."

"You know about what she said?"

"Yes I know, Frankie told me, she heard everything."

"I can't get it out of my head Grace, the thought of his last moments, and that bitch taking his photo as he died, I keep wondering whether he needed me, if he knew he was dying and he wanted my help, what if he called out for me Grace, what if he was afraid."

She walked over to where he was sat and took hold of his hand. "Luke died after ingesting too much heroine, the heroine caused a respiratory failure and he would have been in no pain, and he would have had no idea that he had taken too much, as sad and as hard as it is for you to accept, he would have been blissfully unaware of what was happening."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I worked with enough addicts in the prison system to know what happens when someone takes too much, I promise you, Luke felt nothing, not physically or mentally."

"You're sure?"

She nodded at him, "yes I'm sure." She kissed the top of his head and then pulled him against her and held him; he slipped his hands around her waist and buried his head into her stomach, crying silent tears. She was about to speak again when Christopher started to shout and scream from his bedroom. He pulled away from her and went to get up, but she stopped him. "Why don't you make us a cup of tea and I'll go and see to him." She didn't wait for an answer she just turned and left before he could move.

Christopher was sat up on his bed crying, as soon as he saw her he put his hands up for her to pick him up, she did so eagerly, pulling him into her arms and holding him tightly, his pyjamas and bed were wet.

"I wet my bed Mummy." He said through little sobs.

"It's okay, we can sort it out."

"Can I sleep in your bed please?" His little sobs broke her heart every time, and she always gave into him.

"Only if you promise to wear those special pyjama pants we got you." Grace had bought him pyjama pants when he started wetting the bed, but they had a nightly battle trying to get him to wear them, and it usually ended in him throwing a monumental tantrum.

"No, I don't want to, they're baby's pants."

"No they're not; they're for big boys like you, that's why they do them in your size." He immediately began to throw another tantrum, thrashing about in her arms and crying loudly. She was struggling to hold him when she felt Boyd's hand on her shoulder, he took Christopher from her and held onto him, he didn't shout at him, he just held him and tried to comfort him.

"It's okay, Christopher calm down, it's okay." He gently rubbed his sons back and spoke softly to him until he calmed down. He then took him into the bathroom and washed and changed him, managing to get him into a pair of pyjama pants, Grace changed his bed, fortunately they had a water proof absorbent sheet on his bed, so it was just a matter of changing the sheets. When she went back into their bedroom Boyd was once again walking around with Christopher in his arms, they kept him in with them for the night, as they had done almost every night since he was discharged from hospital.

They lay facing each other with Christopher in between them, watching him sleep. "I think we need to get him some professional help Peter."

"You're the expert; I'll go along with whatever you think."

"I think he's suffering from PTSD, I wouldn't be surprised after everything he's been through."

"Is that possible? I mean at his age."

"Yeah it's possible."

"So how do we get him some help?"

"I'll make some calls and arrange an appointment with a child psychologist."

"Will it help, I mean for someone as young as him."

"It should do, they have some different therapies, there's something called play therapy, it helps children suffering from PTSD, helps them make sense of what's happened and verbalise there fears."

"Make sure you find him the best Grace, I don't care what it costs, just find him the best."

"I will, don't worry, we'll get him through it."

"We'd better; I want my boy back."

Grace leant across and kissed both Christopher and Boyd, "You'll get him back."

TBC..


	20. Endgame Part 3

**Sorry it's been a while, but I've been a bit under the weather, thanks to my lovely OHT friends for the constant laughs and support, even during such difficult times. You are all amazing people and fabulous writers who constantly inspire me to want to be a better person.  
><strong>

**This is the final part of the Endgame chapter, but not the end of the story.  
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**Endgame Part 3**

It took only a couple of phone calls for Grace to track down a child psychologist who specialised in post-traumatic stress disorder, and she booked an assessment session for just a few days' time, in the mean time they managed Christopher's problems as best they could. Nothing changed in his behaviour, and it only made them more certain that they were doing the right thing for their son.

Boyd sat on Christopher's bed with his son on his lap, reading him a bedtime story, it was their usual routine, and one they tried to stick to. The one thing that Grace was sure of was that Christopher needed routine and normality in his life, so they continued to keep his life as normal and as stable as they could, and that meant him having his bedtime story read to him. As he finished the story Boyd looked at him, he was gazing into space, just as he had done a lot recently.

"What you looking at?" Boyd asked him gently. Christopher shrugged his shoulders and didn't answer him. "Come on, you can tell Daddy what you're thinking about?" But again his son didn't respond. "Do you remember what's happening tomorrow?" They had explained to him a couple of times about the special lady he was going to see, but they knew he didn't understand. He nodded his head half-heartedly. "Tell me then, tell me where we're going?"

"To see the lady." He replied quietly.

"And what are you going to do when you see her?" Christopher again just shrugged his shoulders. "Can you remember what Mummy told you would happen?" This time he nodded his head. "And is that okay?"

"Are you taking me?"

"Yep, me and Mummy are coming with you, and you'll like it, it will be fun."

"Are you going to leave me there?"

"No, we're going to stay with you, but we may have to wait in a different room whilst you play for a little while."

"Will she hurt me?"

"No, I promise Christopher, no one's going to hurt you, okay." Boyd pulled him into his arms and held him tightly, his son's words stabbing at his heart.

Outside the bedroom door Grace listened to the two of them talking, it was only three weeks since this nightmare began, since she'd gone into hospital and left a happy and healthy little boy behind, but it seemed such a far cry from what they had now. She listened as Boyd tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight, leaving the night light on in his bedroom, and then sitting with him until he dozed off.

By the time Boyd walked into their bedroom Grace was already in bed. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah, well for now at least."

"I heard you talking to him."

Boyd sat on the edge of his side of the bed, "He's scared Grace."

"I know, it'll be okay, this doctor is a specialist in child psychology."

"He asked me if she was going to hurt him." Grace rubbed her hand against his arm soothingly. "You know, if she wasn't already dead, I think I'd kill her."

"That wouldn't help Christopher."

"I know, I just want to do something Grace, I want to make him feel safe again, I hate this shit, I fucking hate it." Boyd put his face in his hands out of shear frustration.

Grace crawled across the bed and put her arms around him, "it's going to get better, I promise." She gently kissed the top of his head whilst holding him.

"I'm sick and tired of feeling so fucking useless, my son is scared of his own shadow and I can't do anything to make him feel safe and secure again, do you have any idea how that makes me feel."

"Yes actually I do, he is my son too Peter."

"But I'm his Dad Grace, if I can't make him feel safe then who the hell can, it's my job to protect him and I let him down."

"He needs help, and he is going to get help, and in time he will learn to trust people again, I know it's difficult but he will be able to put this behind him, we will all be able to put this behind us."

"Well right now that seems a bloody long way off."

"I do know how you feel, I feel the same, but we need to do what's best for Christopher, and trying to rush this process isn't what's best for him. He will get there, but it will take time."

"It's bullshit Grace, fucking bullshit, he's a little boy, and he shouldn't have a care in the world, his mind should be on what toy to play with, or what crayon to use, and instead he can't even go to the fucking toilet on his own."

"Getting wound up isn't going to help anyone, and if you keep raising your voice all you will do is wake him up, so I suggest you calm down and try to be rational."

"I don't feel like being fucking rational."

"Well then do it for him, it's not about you it's about him."

"Oh what you don't think I know that, you think I'm wound up for my sake."

"But this attitude won't help anyone."

"God damn it Grace, how the hell can you stay so calm?"

"Because being angry won't help anyone, least of all Christopher, yes he's scared, but what do you think you being angry and shouting is going to do to help that. If you want him to feel safe again, then you need to stay calm and rational, getting like this will only frighten him more."

"Oh great so now you're saying he's frightened of me."

"No, for god's sake, he's been to hell and back and we weren't there for him, when he called for Mummy and Daddy, we didn't rescue him, when he was scared we didn't comfort him. We're grown-ups and we know that there was nothing we could do about it, but he doesn't, so now he thinks, what's the point of telling Mummy and Daddy they didn't help me last time."

"So you are saying he's afraid of me."

"No, I'm saying grow up, you can rationalise this, he can't, and if he hears you shouting and banging about it will only make him worse."

Boyd lashed out with his hand and knocked the lamp flying off the bedside table. "Fuck this, I hate it, I hate it all, I can't deal with this shit." He made his way towards the bedroom door to walk out.

"What are you going to do Peter, walk away again, walk out on us."

He stopped in his tracks, his hand still gripping the door handle, but instead of opening the door he released the handle and leant his head against the door, he knew what she was saying, was he about to take the easy way out again. He shook his head, and turned around slowly. "I'm sorry, I wasn't going to…I just, I…can't bear to see him like this, I'm me Grace, I'm not a talker, if I can't fix it with my hands then I'm no good."

"You're wrong, that little boy worships you, you're his best friend, and without you he'd be even more lost and afraid than he is now."

"But I can't help him."

"But if you're here for him when he needs you, when he's ready, then you will be helping him."

"Do you think so?"

"I know so."

"I need to check on him, make sure I didn't wake him up, I'll be back in a second." He strolled gently across the hallway to Christopher's brightly decorated bedroom, the door was open, and he could see by the night light that he was still fast asleep; he bent down and gently kissed his forehead, careful not to wake him. He then went back into their bedroom. He once again sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay; it's understandable to be angry, come to bed." He looked at her and nodded his head, before removing his clothes and sliding into the bed beside her, she held out her arms and he snuggled into her side.

"I don't know where I'd be without you, your always the voice of reason, how do you always know the right thing to say."

"I don't, but at times like this it's just a matter of trying to stay calm, don't get me wrong there are times when I could happily smash plates and break cups, but then all we'd have left is a lot of broken crockery."

"True." He looked up at her and gently kissed her on the lips, his eyes locking with hers. As he pulled away their eyes remained locked and he kissed her again, this time a little longer, and a little more passionate. As he pulled away again he felt Grace's hand on his neck pulling him in for another kiss. "Do you want to?"

"Do you?"

"I asked first Grace; don't answer a question with a question."

"Do you want to though?"

"Of course I do, it's been a while, but do you feel up to it, I mean are you still sore from the biopsy?" Boyd's voice was quiet and awkward.

"Well you'll just have to be gentle with me." She replied with a laugh.

He reached over and switched the lamp off and then began to kiss her neck as his hand slid gently down her side and rested on her hip. His mouth continued to move lower, gently caressing her skin, he was careful not to aggravate the small healing wound on her breast, but kissed around it. The sensual touch of his mouth on her skin caused her to moan and he instantly pulled back.

"What did I do?"

"No it's fine, it was better than fine."

Boyd smiled his boyish smile before again burying his head into her breasts and continuing to kiss and touch her, kissing over her stomach and letting his tongue leave a trail down to her knees, then he began to gently kiss his way back up her inner thigh, his hand stopped under her knee and pulled it up, giving him better access to the area he was aiming for.

She automatically arched her back off the bed at the first feel of his tongue as it flicked over and around its target, and as he started to administer long firm strokes of his tongue she dug her nails into his back, one of her hands was above her head, gripping the material of the pillowcase and she gently bit her lip to try and stop herself from crying out, knowing that if she did she wouldn't just wake their son, she'd also wake half the street.

He could taste her, and to him there was no better taste on earth, and no sight more beautiful than that of the woman he loved trying as hard as she could to stay in control, but she was fighting a losing battle. He knew damn well where things would lead if he continued down this road, he'd tip her over the edge, he knew from the pain of her nails in his back and the sight of her back arching further off the bed than he'd ever seen it, and he knew from the cries that she was desperately trying to stifle. So he stopped, with one final, long stroke of his tongue he stopped, and she moaned louder, he wasn't sure if it was disappointment or gratitude. He delicately kissed his way back up her body.

She could feel his hardness against her leg as he slowly climbed back up, and as he kissed her she couldn't deny the strangeness of the taste of herself on his tongue as it slipped gently into her mouth. He was once again between her legs, only this time it wasn't his tongue that was pressing against her, begging for entry. He was hard, so very hard, and she longed to feel him filling her with every inch that he had to offer.

He started gently, just as he always did, rocking his hips against her, allowing her to feel the hardness of him, to open to him, and as he moved into her she bit down on his shoulder, her nails began to dig into his backside and her knees bent up allowing him deeper access, almost pulling him deeper into her. He stilled himself whilst her body adjusted, and as he started to move he heard it.

"Mummy, Mummy."

He buried his head into her shoulder, "oh you have got to be fucking kidding me."

"Oh god." This time it was Grace that was moaning.

"Mummy, Mummy."

Boyd rolled off to the side and allowed her to get up and see to Christopher, much to his annoyance.

* * *

><p>"Come on mate put your coat on." Boyd was trying his best to get Christopher ready to leave for his appointment, but he was making it as difficult as possible, he'd already spent twenty minutes putting his shoes and socks on, now he was refusing point blank to put his coat on. "Christopher put your coat on." He tried his firm voice, but it made no difference. "Do you want to go without your coat?"<p>

"I don't want to go." Christopher ran up the stairs and back into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

"It's okay, I'll go." Grace took the coat and went upstairs to Christopher's bedroom, returning five minutes later with Christopher wearing his coat.

"How did you do that, I never heard any screams."

"Let's just say we'll be coming home via the pet shop."

"Oh no, what have you promised him?" Boyd replied in a whining voice.

"Nothing, he just likes to look around the pet shop and see the animals."

"You sure we're not going to come back with something small and furry that I'll end up cleaning up after."

"No. Well not today anyway." She replied with a smile and walked out to the car holding tightly onto Christopher's hand.

The clinic was housed in an old style house, large with several levels, and they were looking for a Doctor Richardson on level three. It was a small and comfortable waiting room, with several children's books and toys in the corner, Boyd and Grace took a seat in the corner, they were the only ones waiting, and Christopher stood in front of Grace, refusing to let go of her hand. A door opened and his name was called.

"Christopher Boyd, would you like to come through."

Grace recognised the voice straight away, and stood rooted to the spot staring into the eyes of the woman who was equally rooted to the spot.

"Juliet?"

"Mum?"

The voices were almost in unison as they spoke in complete surprise, "I didn't know it was you, I mean the name, I had no idea who it was." It was Grace who now spoke.

"It's fine, why don't you all come through, and we can talk." They were led into an office by a woman who had a subtle resemblance to her mother, she was dressed smartly yet still portrayed an air of calm and child friendliness. Christopher held firmly onto Grace's hand and refused to let go, where she went he went, even when Boyd tried to sit him on his lap he wouldn't let go of her hand.

"Peter, this is Juliet, my daughter, who I had absolutely no idea was a psychologist, and Juliet this is Peter my partner."

Juliet stood up and offered her hand to Boyd. "It's just Julie these days, but it's nice to meet you." She then offered her hand to Christopher, "and you must be Christopher." Christopher eyed her carefully but wouldn't shake her hand.

"So how long have you been a psychologist?" Grace asked her.

"I'm still training, I assist Dr Richardson, do preliminary assessments, I hope to specialise in child psychology."

Grace noticed the ring on her finger. "Is that a wedding ring?"

"It is. I got married a couple of years ago."

"And you didn't think to tell me."

"I'm sorry, but after the way I acted the last time we spoke, I didn't think I'd be very welcome in your home again, it was just a very small service abroad, no family."

"I see."

"I'm sorry Mum, I should never have acted that way, I was an adult and I should have acted like one, I realised afterwards what a complete and utter pain in the neck I was being."

"But the last time we spoke you were studying English; you wanted to be a teacher, what changed."

"Well umm, yeah a lot of things changed, I got pregnant and I left university to have the baby."

"You have a baby?"

"Actually I have two, both girls, when I had the first one I realised so much about myself and about our relationship, and I decided I wanted to study psychology."

"How old are they?"

"The eldest is four, she's called Mia, and the youngest is six months."

"What's she called?"

"Sorry?"

"What's the youngest one called?"

"She's called Gracie." Grace looked at her in complete shock. "I named her after you; I only wish I'd had the courage to get in touch with you at the time."

"I'm a Grandmother." As she said the words Boyd tried desperately to supress the smile that was appearing on his face.

"So I guess this is my brother."

"Yep this is Christopher."

"Well as you know, ethically I can't treat Christopher as he is my brother, but as I don't have any kind of relationship with him, I would be happy to assess him today and then recommend another therapist to treat him."

"Christopher is very nervous of us leaving him, what does the assessment involve?" It was Boyd who was asking the questions this time.

"Well I would talk to all of you together, get an idea of what has caused the problem, and then if possible I'd like to spend some time with him on his own, so I can get an idea of what treatment would be required."

"Okay."

The assessment went as well as it could, Christopher refused to let Grace out of his sight, no matter what she said or did to try and reassure him, so the assessment was done with her sat across the room from him, they would get a written report, but Julie confirmed Grace's thoughts that he was suffering from Infantile PTSD, she was going to recommend a course of therapy that revolved around play. She also advised them to continue with what they were doing, keep his home life stable and provide him with consistent, sensitive and reassuring care.

At the end of the appointment Grace invited her daughter to dinner along with her husband and children, she felt that fate had handed them an olive branch, and it was important for them both to take hold of it.

As promised they took Christopher to the pet shop on the way home, letting him look at the rabbits and hamsters and other small animals, of course he wanted one, but they managed to get away with promising him one when he was a bit older.

"So" Boyd said as they got back in the car, and Grace instantly knew what he was about to say. "It's Granny from now on is it?"

"Very funny, that would of course make you a step grandpa."

"Only if we were married, but we're not, ha!"

"We are common law husband and wife."

"Bollocks, we live in sin."

"Language, little ears can hear very well."

"Sorry dear." He replied sarcastically.

* * *

><p>The weekend came around quickly, and on Sunday, as arranged, Julie arrived with her husband Gerald, and daughters Mia and Gracie. Gerald worked in investment banking, and was tall and exceptionally handsome, his soft Irish accent obviously added to the charm that seemed to ooze so easily from every pore of his body. They had met at University, and when Julie left to have the baby, Gerald was able to continue his studies and graduate with a first, they were a perfect couple and Grace spent the day getting to know her granddaughters, and son in law, and building a few bridges with her only daughter. Christopher was quite taken with his nieces, and despite his current problems spent the evening playing with Mia. Boyd won a few brownie points when he volunteered to change little Gracie's nappy, much to Julie's surprise, but Grace reassured her that he was dab hand and a very capable and hands on father.<p>

After they left the three of them went to bed, they sat and read to Christopher until he dozed off, and then tip toed into their own room. Christopher slept through the night; it was the first time since the abduction, and the first time that either of them could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe things would start to improve for them.


End file.
